现在是伤停补时的最后一分钟 And we're in the final minute of added time.
AFC里士满和诺丁汉森林目前平分 各进了两球 AFC Richmond and Nottingham Forest are level with two goals apiece.
奥比桑亚改变路线 他把球传给了有空当的罗哈斯 Obisanya switches play. He finds Rojas, who has room.
点球 And it's a penalty!
灰狗队获得大好机会扭转战局 A giant opportunity for the Greyhounds to change their club's tide here.
传得漂亮 山姆 Nice pass, Sam!
加油 丹尼 Here we go, Dani!
-好耶 太好了 -很好… -Yeah! Yes! -Nice, nice.
科林休斯可以大松一口气了 他弥补了让森林队扳平的失误 Huge relief for Colin Hughes after he was liable for Forest's equalizer.
里士满本赛季开始后连续七场都是平局 Richmond has started the season with seven straight ties…
如果这场比赛也踢平 他们将平了纪录 and if this match ends in a draw, they will tie the record,
目前纪录由南安普顿和斯旺西共同保持 which is currently a tie between Southampton and Swansea.
克里斯 你能想象吗 Chris, can you even imagine
新赛季一开始就连续七场平局 starting a season with seven consecutive draws?
当然可以 阿尔洛 I sure can, Arlo.
因为我是右脑主导 因此富有想象力 And that's because I'm a right-brained dominant with a knack for make-believe.
我可以祈祷吗 Is it okay if I pray?
当然 但你对哪个神祈祷、用什么语言 Yeah, of course. But to which god and in what language, you know?
你可以交叉手指许愿 You could cross your fingers, make a wish.
就这样吧 There you go.
经历了大起大落的里士满球迷们 The Richmond faithful, who've recently gone through so much,
仍旧狂热地支持自己的球队 still fervently behind their club.
盯住他 Keep on him.
上吧 对 Go on. Yeah!
此刻内尔森路体育馆一片寂静 And a hush falls over Nelson Road…
除了里士满深受尊敬的吉祥物 With the exception of Richmond's venerable mascot,
厄尔灰狗 它正在嚎叫以示鼓励 Earl Greyhound, howling his encouragement.
丹尼罗哈斯能为那只狗狗 带来本赛季第一场胜利吗 Will Dani Rojas deliver the good boy their first win of the season?
拜托… Please, please, please, please.
加油啊 丹尼 Come on, Dani.
足球就是生命 Football is life.
-不好 -我的老天 -Oh, no. -Oh, my God.
我发誓这不是我许愿的内容 I promise that's not what I wished for.
可怜的小家伙 真是悲剧 That poor creature. It's so tragic.
真是糟糕的转折 Awful turn of events.
人们不会因此恨我们吧 You don't think that people will hate us because of it, do you?
这显然是一场可怕的事故 Well, it was obviously a horrible accident,
但处于低级别联赛的一个好处是 but I guess that one perk of being in a lower division now
不是每场比赛都会有电视转播 is that not every game is televised.
对 但是希金斯 别忘了还有互联网 Yes, but, Higgins, the Internet.
对 该死的互联网 Oh, right, the goddamn Internet.
推特已经疯了 看 Twitter is going bonkers. Look.
天啊 我们真的让迈克尔乔丹哭了 Oh, God. Did we really make Michael Jordan cry?
-你为泰德写了发言稿吗 -写了 -Did you write a statement for Ted? -Yeah, I did.
但他说：“别费心 小妞” 他会搞定的 But then he said, "Now, don't you fret, Boba Fett." He's got it covered.
好吧 Okay.
-教练 -好的 马库斯 -Coach! -All right, Marcus,
-有什么问题 -拉索教练 -what do you got for me? -Coach Lasso,
你对球队今天的表现有什么看法 how are you feeling about the team's efforts today?
我觉得每个人都尽心尽力了 尤其是山姆 Well, I feel like everyone played their hearts out, especially Sam.
每场比赛越踢越好 Just gets better and better every game.
他真的帮助我们填补了 罗伊肯特留下的巨坑 He's really helping us fill that giant Roy Kent void, you know.
你认为还要踢平多少场比赛 And how many more matches you think can end in a draw
你才会开始担心 before you hit the panic button?
马库斯 我从来不喜欢做的事有两件 Well, Marcus, there's two buttons I never like to hit, all right?
即担心和小睡 And that's "panic" and "snooze."
还有谁要问 Who else?
这位先生吧 What about this fella right here?
-特伦特克里姆 -《独立报》 -Trent Crimm-- -The Independent.
关于今天被丹尼罗哈斯杀死的狗厄尔 你有什么评论 I was wondering if you had any comments on Earl, the dog Dani Rojas killed today.
特伦特克里姆 棘手的问题 Trent Crimm, bringing that heat.
是 Yeah.
我三岁时被邻居的狗袭击 Well, when I was three years old, I got attacked by our neighbor's dog.
我不记得当时的情形 但我母亲说那场事故… I-I don't remember it happening, but my mother said it was pretty--
挺吓人的 pretty scary, you know.
但我记得成长过程中我确实很怕狗 I do remember being afraid of dogs while growing up though.
比如去朋友家过夜时 Like if I was at a friend's house for a sleepover or something,
朋友必须让狗留在门外 否则我会哭个不停 they'd have to keep their family dog outside, otherwise I'd bawl my eyes out.
上了高中 我们的邻居格莱迪先生 他的妻子去世了 Then in high school, our neighbor, Mr. Grady, well, his wife passed away.
当然 他对此感到很难过 And he was real sad about that, as you can imagine,
他不再照顾家里的狗 and he just kinda stopped taking care of their dog.
也就是咬了我的那只狗 它叫汉克 Same one that bit me. His name was Hank.
于是我开始照顾它 And so I started looking after him, you know.
给它喂食、带它散步、玩捡球游戏等等 Feeding him, taking him on walks, playing fetch, all that fun stuff.
后来格莱迪先生的儿子把他送进养老院 Eventually, Mr. Grady's son moved his dad into a nursing home,
他问我想不想留下汉克 我说：“当然 好啊” and he asked if I wanted to keep Hank, and I was like, "Yeah. Heck, yeah."
大概一年后 我们不得不让汉克安乐死 And then a year or so after that we had to put Hank to sleep.
人生中的事情有时很有意思 It's funny to think about the things in your life…
仅仅是想到一些东西 曾经存在于世上 你就想哭 that can make you cry just knowing that they existed,
而当意识到它们已不在世上 can then become the same thing that make you cry
你也一样会想哭 knowing that they're now gone.
我认为那些东西进入我们的生活 I think those things come into our lives…
是为了帮我们去到更好的地方 to help us get from one place to a better one.
我希望我们也帮助厄尔去到更好的地方 And I hope we helped Earl do just that.
我们会很想念它 对 We gonna miss him around here a whole bunch. Yeah.
丹尼还好吗 And how's Dani doing?
我还没和他聊过 I haven't spoken with him yet,
但我希望他别太自责 but I just hope he's not being too hard on himself, you know.
他已经这样20分钟了 He's been like this for 20 minutes.
他会把热水都用完 He's gonna use all the hot water.
-对 -没错 -Yeah. -Yeah, you're right.
嘿 丹尼 你在做什么 Hey, Dani. What ya doing?
把我身上的死亡气息冲走 Washing the death off of me.
我建议你用肥皂 Well, I-- I recommend you use a little soap.
能够帮你把犄角旮旯的死亡气息清洗干净 Helps get the eternal rest out of those tough-to-reach places, you know.
谢谢 教练 Gracias, Coach.
嘿 别忘了 足球就是生命 对吗 Well, hey, don't forget, football is life, right?
我知道 以前是 I know. It used to be.
没办法 I got nothing.
好了 各位 Okay, so, fellas,
让我们给丹尼一点个人空间 好吗 let's go ahead and give Dani a little bit of space right now, yeah?
你们不介意在家冲凉吧 Y'all don't mind showering at home, do ya?
教练 如果可以的话 Coach, if it's okay with you,
我们中的一些人比较喜欢在家泡澡 some of us prefer to take long baths at home.
对… Yeah, yeah.
是的 那也可以 Oh. Yeah, no, okay, that'll work too.
嘿 今天的表现很棒 Oh, and hey, way to play out there today.
你们把对方打得落花流水 Y'all kicked their butts from soup to nuts.
别担心 我们很快就会得胜 Don't worry, we gonna get a W soon.
金鱼们 周一见了 We'll see you goldfish on Monday.
金鱼 Goldfish?
意思是忘记我们的错误和失败 重新开始 Oh, it means to forget our mistakes and failures and just move on.
但我没有犯错 只有你表现糟糕 But I didn't make any mistakes. Only you played poorly.
嘿 各位 杨马斯不是无礼 Hey, guys, Jan Maas is not being rude.
这只是荷兰人的作风 He's just being Dutch.
-对… -那倒是 -Yeah, yeah. -True.
（米歇尔来电）
（你最铁杆的球迷认为 你会觉得这个很好笑）
说真的 这些平局都是我的错 I'm telling you, all these ties are my fault.
这是宇宙为了曼城的比赛惩罚我 It's straight up celestial payback for the Man City game.
我当时祈祷来一场平局 There I was wishing and hoping for a freaking tie,
结果报应之神灵验了 and now the karma police are making good
告诉我这就是不尊敬他们的下场 on showing me what I get when I mess with them.
球队表现很好 泰德 运气差而已 The team's playing well, Ted, just a little unlucky, that's all.
“运气差” 对 你们这里的人真爱用这个说法 "Unlucky." Yeah. Man, I love the way y'all use that word over here.
在家乡 若队伍表现不佳 我们不说运气差 Back home, if a team was playing poorly, we don't call 'em unlucky.
-教练 那说什么 -纽约喷气机 -What do we call 'em, Coach? -New York Jets.
-没错 -嘿 教练 -There it is. -Hey, Coach.
抱歉打断你们 我今天能提前走吗 Sorry to interrupt. Can I leave a little early today?
但你职责的一部分是留到最后再走 But part of your job is to stay until the whole team's gone.
对 当然 只是今天是我妈妈的50岁生日 No, yes, of course. It's just, it's my mum's 50th birthday--
是吗 Oh. Oh.
你妈妈在球队踢什么位置来着 And what position does your mum play on the team again?
没关系 威尔 代我们向你妈妈说声生日快乐 It's okay, Will. Tell your mom a happy birthday from all of us,
如果她想参加球队选拔 随时欢迎她来 and if she ever wants to try out for the team, she's more than welcome.
真好 Lovely.
你必须对他们严格一点 You gotta stay on 'em.
压力才能打磨出珍珠 不是吗 Pressure makes pearls, right?
等等 这个说法不对 Wait, that's wrong.
是钻石 该死 我弄错了 It's diamonds-- Shit! I messed it up.
不 你没有弄错 你只是… No, you didn't mess it up. You were just--
-运气差 -对 -Unlucky. -Yes!
谢谢 Thanks.
真奇怪 That's odd.
我们的对手布伦福德足球俱乐部 刚给我们送来一份外卖大餐 We just received a giant food delivery from our rivals over at Brentford F.C.
这么好啊 什么菜式 That's nice. What kind of food?
泰餐 Thai.
我懂了 Oh, now I get it.
-大家好 -泰德 -Howdy, y'all. -Ted!
拉索教练 想喝鸡尾酒吗 What do you say to a cocktail, Coach Lasso?
黛安索耶想和我去约会的话 Oh, the same thing I'd say to Diane Sawyer
我的回答是一样的：“好啊” if she ever asked me out on a date: "Yes, please."
天啊… Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
你感觉如何 How you feeling?
基莉 我感觉 Well, Keeley, I feel like
比《最失败的失败者》里 最失败的人还失败 a bigger loser than the biggest loser from The Biggest Loser.
看看好的方面 泰德 Oh, look on the bright side, Ted.
我们仍然未尝一败 We are still undefeated.
是 谢谢你 Okay, sure. Thank you.
丹尼怎么样 How's Dani doing?
他有点被吓傻了 Oh, he's a little shell-shocked,
但丹尼就和昂贵的卷尺一样 but Dani's a lot like an expensive tape measure.
-他很快就能恢复原样 -对 -He snaps back real quick. -Yeah.
厄尔的主人呢 他还好吧 What about Earl's owner? He doing all right?
-对 他还好 -那就好 -Yeah, fortunately he is. -Oh, good.
对 另外你面前这位已经新晋成为 Yes, and you're now looking at the very new, very generous,
里士满最大的流浪狗收容所 内心充满罪恶感的慷慨捐助人 very guilt-riddled benefactor of Richmond's largest dog shelter.
白金汪宫 Barkingham Palace.
这个名字不错 It's a good name.
-敬厄尔 -敬厄尔 -To Earl. -To Earl.
敬厄尔 To Earl.
好 我得走了 Okay, I should go.
我答应儿子们今晚一起看《帝国反击战》 I promised the boys we'd watch Empire Strikes Back tonight,
我得理清思绪 and I have to get my thoughts together
应对他们关于卢克和莉亚亲吻的问题 for when they ask about Luke and Leia making out.
-对 -祝我好运 -Oh, right. -Wish me luck.
祝你好运 希金斯 Good luck, Higgins.
拜拜 莱斯莉 Bye, Leslie.
-嘿 愿原力与你同在 -也与你同在 -Hey. May the force be with you. -And also with you.
好 All right.
-天啊 -是他吗 -Oh, my God! -Oh, is that him?
-是的… -来吧 太好了 -Yes, yes, yes. -Come on! Oh, good!
好的 Okay.
嘿 哪个他 Hey, him who?
-然后呢 -这个… -And? -Well, I mean…
-好的 但是 -不 绝对 -Okay, but? -Oh, no. Totally.
-太好了 我为你自豪 -谢谢 -Good, I'm proud of you. -Thanks.
我能说话了吗 Am I allowed to speak yet?
抱歉 泰德 只是女生密语 Oh, sorry, Ted. It's just a little bit of girl talk
聊关于我约会过几次的一位男追求者 about a gentleman suitor I've gone out with a few times.
不错 女生密语 我懂的 Nice. A little girl talk. I get it.
他叫什么名… What's his name--
你们下周能一起四人约会吗 让他证明自己的价值 Are you guys up for a double date next week? Let him prove his mettle.
-当然没问题 -你能问罗伊他是否有空吗 -Abso-fucking-lutely. -Can you ask Roy if he's free?
-他有空 别担心 -那就好 -He's free. Don't worry. -Okay, cool.
嘿 罗伊来看今天的比赛了吗 Hey, did Roy come to the game today?
没有 抱歉 泰德 Oh, no, he didn't. Sorry, Ted.
没事的 他以后肯定会来 对吧 Oh, no, that's okay. I'm sure he'll swing by at some point, right?
嘿 他知道我们永远 会在取票处为他留票 对吗 Hey, he knows he's always got a ticket waiting for him at will call, yeah?
-是的 -那就好 -Yeah. -Good, okay.
别忘了 我没有用他的名字 And don't forget, I don't put it under his name.
我不希望别人烦他 用的是假名 I don't want folks messing with him. It's under an alias.
比如上周是洛瑞塔琳恩 这周是多莉帕顿 Like, last week it was Loretta Lynn, this week was Dolly Parton,
如果我没记错 下周是仙妮亚唐恩 and next week is, if I remember correctly, Shania Twain.
真聪明 Just brilliant.
他不是针对你 And it's nothing personal.
只是他忙于新的教练工作 It's just that he's been so busy with this new coaching gig.
给我听好了 You listen to me!
要是下周再踢成这样 你们就和奖杯说再见吧 You play like that next week, you can kiss the trophy goodbye,
因为你们今天表现得像一群小混蛋 'cause today, you all played like a bunch of little pricks!
听见了吗 You hear me?
是 教练 Yes, Coach!
除了科克露达 为了球队把自己置于险境 真不错 Except for Kokoruda. Way to put your body on the line out there.
应该的 教练 You know it, Coach.
好 莫妮卡的妈妈带了橙子片 All right, Monika's mum brought orange slices.
别把皮也吃了 你们这些小野兽 走吧 Don't eat the peels, you animals. Off you go.
-基莉 -嗨 菲比 -Keeley! -Hey, Phoebs!
肯特教练 她们才八岁 Coach Kent. They're eight years old.
-你不能叫她们小混蛋 -抱歉 博文老师 -You can't call them little pricks. -Sorry, Ms. Bowen.
就算她们表现得像小混蛋也不行 Even when they're being little pricks.
周一学校见 姑娘们 See you on Monday at school, girls.
-拜 博文老师 -嗨 宝贝 -Bye, Ms. Bowen. -Hey, babe.
拜 博文老师 Bye, Ms. Bowen.
-谁想喝热巧克力 -我 -All right, who wants some hot chocolate? -Me!
-我想 -好耶 走吧 -I do. -Yeah, let's go!
趁我没忘记 Oh! Before I forget,
瑞贝卡问我们下周能否一起去四人约会 Rebecca wanted to see if we could do some double date action next week.
该死 Fucking hell.
这个词不好 罗伊舅舅 你欠我1英镑 Bad word, Uncle Roy. You owe me one quid.
记在我的账上 Put it on my tab.
-你能帮忙拿一下吗 -好 -Can you hold this, please? -Course.
来嘛 会很有意思的 Come on. It'll be fun.
-好吧 -谢谢 -Fine. -Thank you.
菲比 今天的比赛如何 Phoebe, how was the match today?
-精彩极了 -真的 -Outstanding. -Yeah?
我用手肘撞了一个女孩的脖子 被罚了一张红牌 I got a red card for elbowing a girl in her neck.
我为此感到很自豪 And I'm very proud.
什么 What?
我知道你们下周一定会大获全胜 Well, I know that you guys are just gonna smash it next week.
我也觉得 Me too.
等赛季结束后 So once the season's over,
你就有空见朋友了 对吗 you're gonna have more time to see some friends, right?
我经常见朋友啊 I see friends all the time.
我知道 瑜伽师奶朋友 I know. You got your yoga mums.
你不觉得无聊吗 做瑜伽婴儿式 Don't you ever want anything more than sitting in child's pose,
喝玫瑰酒喝得微醺 然后聊真人电视节目的八卦 getting buzzed on rosé, and gossiping about reality TV
和一帮完全不了解你的女人们一起 with a bunch of women that know nothing about you?
不会 我很喜欢 No, I love it.
天空体育台又联系我们了 Sky Sports reached out again.
不 No.
我觉得这是个好想法 I think it's a good idea.
上次我听从你的好想法 结果脸面尽失 Last time I did one of your good ideas, I made a fucking fool of myself.
你的退役媒体发布会很成功 罗伊 大家都很喜欢 Your retirement press conference was beautiful, Roy. People loved it.
有一千五百万人次收看呢 It got, like, 15 million views.
等等 所以你让我 感到没那么丢脸的方式是告诉我 Wait, so your way of alleviating my embarrassment is to tell me
有多少万人看到我犯傻 how many millions of people have seen me look like a knob?
有道理 Good point.
我只想认真地说 我认为你会是优秀的足球解说员 I just wanna go on record saying that I think you'd be an amazing pundit.
我不想当该死的足球解说员 I don't wanna be a fucking football pundit,
穿着该死的西装上电视 sat on fucking telly in a dumb fucking suit
像个自以为是的混蛋 like a know-it-all twat.
这份烂工作属于烂人 It's a shit job for shit people.
我宁肯用嘴吐大便 都不要做那份大便一样的工作 I'd rather shit out my own fucking mouth than do that fucking shit.
明白了 Got it.
菲比 现在多少钱了 Phoebs, where we at now?
1236英镑 £1,236.
真厉害 Impressive.
（决定 罚点球 视频助理裁判）
仿佛昨日场景重现 And it's déjà vu all over again
丹尼罗哈斯再次在伤停补时阶段罚点球 as Dani Rojas has another injury-time penalty kick
让里士满看到本赛季第一场胜利的曙光 to put Richmond in the win column for the first time this season.
只要他能让球绕过这位可爱的守门员 If he can get it past this adorable goalkeeper.
守门员耍了小花招 罗哈斯会如何回应 Oh, gamesmanship from the keeper. How will Rojas respond?
（这会很疼的）
足球就是死亡 Football is death!
请进 Oh, come in.
早上好 老板 Morning, boss.
嗨 泰德 Oh, hi, Ted.
哎呀 好久都没看到 别人见到我之后这么失望 Yikes. I haven't seen someone that disappointed to see me
上一次是我戴红色棒球帽 参加计划生育联合会筹款活动 since I wore a red baseball cap to a Planned Parenthood fundraiser.
抱歉 泰德 对 我只是希望来的人是基莉 Sorry, Ted. You're right. I-- I was just hoping you were Keeley.
没关系 我每天也有三、四次 希望自己是基莉 That's okay. I wish I was Keeley three, four times a day.
-给 -谢谢 -Here you go. -Thank you.
让我猜猜 你很喜欢撩人的女生密语 对吗 Let me guess. You got a fever for the flavor of a little girl talk?
说吧 不如让我试一试 Well, shoot, why don't you let me take a crack at it?
-真的 -对 有什么不可 -Really? -Yeah, why not?
好 管他呢 Oh. Okay, what the hell.
我最近在交往的男人 约翰… So this chap I've been seeing, John.
约翰斯塔莫斯 Stamos?
不 他叫约翰温斯奈特 No, his name's John Wingsnight.
-好的 -但那不是重点 -Okay. -But that's not the point.
等等 他叫约翰温斯奈特 Now hold on a second. His name's John Wingsnight?
-对 -是在体育酒吧认识的 -Yes. -Like at a sports bar?
说：“星期一晚上鸡翅特惠 就在PJ酒吧” Like, "Monday night's wings night down at PJ Flatts," like that?
泰德 能别说了吗 Ted, would you please stop?
第一条规则 虽然叫女生密语 Rule number one: Even though it's called "girl talk,"
有时必须说：“姑娘 听着” sometimes it needs to be more like, "Girl, listen."
明白了 我边做边学 来 说吧 Got it. Learning on the fly here. Come on. Hit me.
好 谢谢 约翰 我是说…他是个很好的男人 All right, thank you. So, John, I mean-- I mean, he's a wonderful man.
-他很英俊 也很成功 -不错 -He's very handsome, successful. -Nice.
-不会害羞 -他对你好吗 -Not shy. -Is he nice to you?
是 很好 Yes. Yes, very.
挺好的 他听上去很棒 Good. Yeah, he sounds great.
所以我有点糊涂 有什么问题吗 So I'm confused. Is there a problem here?
这个… Well…
其实没有 Actually, I suppose not.
好吧 Okay.
好的 所以第二条规则是 Okay, so rule number two is
有时候女生密语只是无目的闲聊 sometimes girl talk can just be blabbing away about stuff,
不需要改变什么 也不需要解决问题 and nothing has to really change, and no one has to solve anything?
对 完全没错 Yeah, that's exactly right.
好极了 请继续 I love it. Let's keep going.
对 所以…过来 Right, so… Come.
好的 Okay.
嘿 抱歉我迟到了 伙计 Hey, sorry I'm late, fellas.
我刚才帮老板挑指甲油颜色 准备她今晚的约会 I was helping the boss pick out a nail polish color for her date tonight.
我最喜欢蓝色那个 但我觉得都很好看 My favorite's the blue, but I think they all kinda rock.
你们觉得呢 What do guys you think?
-怎么了 -我们遇到问题了 教练 -What's wrong? -We got a situation, Coach.
他的用词太轻了 是莎士比亚级悲剧 He's underselling. We have a Shakespearean fucking tragedy.
放松 丹尼 Take it easy, Dani.
加油 丹尼 再来一次 好吗 再试一次 Come on, Dani. One more time, yeah? Have another go.
加油 丹尼 来吧 Come on, Dani. Come on.
他踢飞了多少球 How many has he missed?
所有 All of them.
不好 行吧 嘿 丹尼 Oh, boy. Okay. Hey, Dani!
过来 孩子 我们散散步 Come on, son. Let's take a walk.
哇 我们正在目睹一个人事业的终结 Wow. We're watching the end of someone's career.
现在不是时候 杨 Not now, Jan.
-抱歉 教练 -不用道歉 -Sorry, Coach. -No, no need to apologize.
丹尼 你和厄尔之间发生的事 那并不是你的错 Dani, what happened between you and Earl, that wasn't your fault, you know.
你遭遇了一场罕见而悲惨的巧合 You suffered an unlikely and tragic coincidence.
那就像 Not too dissimilar from those seen
保罗汤马斯安德森的 1999年作品《木兰花》 throughout Paul Thomas Anderson's 1999 opus, Magnolia.
汤姆克鲁斯梳小马尾辫的那部电影吗 Is that Tom Cruise with a little, tiny ponytail?
不 丹尼 你说的应该是《最后的武士》 No, Dani. I think you're thinking about The Last Samurai.
他在《木兰花》里也梳小马尾辫 教练 He's got a little, tiny ponytail in Magnolia too, Coach.
谢谢提醒 教练 Oh, thank you, Coach.
抱歉 丹尼 My apologies, Dani.
汤姆克鲁斯在那两部电影里 都梳着小马尾辫 Tom Cruise was rocking a little, tiny ponytail in both those films.
-好的 -我的重点是 -Okay. -Point is,
那是一场悲惨的意外 好吗 it's a tragic occurrence, all right?
是一个偶然事故 A one-time thing.
所以让我们远离罚球区的坏风水 So let's get away from the bad mojo coming off that penalty box and,
放放松 you know, have some fun.
踢踢角球 Let's kick some corners, right?
-好 -好吗 -Right. -Yeah?
嘿 球员们 准备午夜肉汁奶酪薯条战术 Hey, fellas! Line up for Midnight Poutine!
这就对啦 帮你找回感觉 Yeah, there we go. Help you get your feel back.
-好 丹尼 -是 教练 -All right, Dani. -Okay, Coach.
深呼吸 Take a deep breath, yeah?
想象这一脚射球 I want you to picture the shot.
与球合二为一 丹尼 踢吧 Be the ball, Dani. Now kick it.
天啊 Oh, boy.
没关系… That's all right. That's all right.
兄弟们 我非常困惑 心中的疑问比保罗班扬的树桩还多 Well, fellas, I am more stumped than Paul Bunyan's local forest, you know th--
好疼 That hurt.
有什么想法吗 Any ideas?
如果丹尼需要一点动力 我们可以给他看看他的薪水 If Dani needs motivation, we could always just show him his goddamn paycheck.
这一招有点咄咄逼人吧 I mean, that's a tad aggressive, you know.
不过 我不应该在头脑风暴会上 批判提出的点子 But hey, I shouldn't bring an umbrella to a brainstorm,
所以很感谢你的建议 内特 so I appreciate you getting the ball rolling, Nate.
是 Yeah.
看来我们应该先确定问题在哪 对吧 Seems like the first thing we need to do is define the issue, yeah?
没错 True that.
我们已经知道答案了 对吧 教练 I think we already know what it is, don't we, Coach?
什么意思 威利斯 What you talking about, Willis?
（易普症）
嘿 不能把这个词说出来 Hey, you're not supposed to say that out loud.
所以我写下来了 Which is why I wrote it down.
易普症 "The yips"?
什么叫易普症 What are the yips?
你们俩在和我开玩笑吗 Are you kidding me, you two?
我们不能把那个词说出来 懂吗 We don't say the Y-word out loud, you understand?
这就像在剧院说“麦克白” It's like saying Macbeth in a theater,
或在霍格沃茨说“伏地魔” 或… or Voldemort at Hogwarts, or…
-在英国说“英式足球” -没错 -Soccer in England. -Bingo.
但什么是易普症 But what are the yips?
意思是不知道为什么 It's when, just out of nowhere,
运动员突然忘了运动的基本功 an athlete suddenly can't do the basic fundamentals of their sport.
对 比如查克诺布劳奇的一垒投球 Yeah, you know, like Chuck Knoblauch's throw to first,
或是查尔斯巴克利的高尔夫挥杆 or Charles Barkley's golf swing.
你们知道我在说什么 You guys know what I mean.
有时感觉自己在另一个国度 Sometimes being here is like living in a foreign country.
-你有这种感觉吗 -有 -You ever feel that way? -Yeah.
泰德 你对心理治疗有何看法 Ted, what are your thoughts on therapy?
整体上忧虑和轻微中西部式怀疑态度 为什么问这个 General apprehension and a modest Midwestern skepticism. Why do you ask?
也许我们应该咨询体育心理学家 Well, maybe we should bring in a sports psychologist.
我知道很多其他俱乐部这么做 效果很棒 I know a lot of other clubs have had tremendous success with that.
这个主意不赖 教练 It's not a bad idea, Coach.
好吧 Okay.
等等 Yeah, hold on.
让我考虑一下 容我思考片刻 Let me think here. Let me get my thinking thing on, okay.
行 就这么做吧 Yeah, let's do it.
然后我们面对面 我内心有一部分在想 And now, we're nose-to-nose with one another, and half of me is thinking,
“踢这个混蛋的蛋蛋 "Just kick this jerk in the balls
等他俯身时用膝盖顶他的鼻子 and when he bends over, give him a knee to the nose
就完了 让这家伙滚一边去吧” and be done with it, 'cause screw this guy."
我内心的另一部分在想 “但这是马丁肖特 And the other half of me is thinking, "But it's Martin Short.
你爱马丁肖特” You love Martin Short."
然后一个瘦小的美国女人说 Well, the next thing you know, this tiny American woman says,
“是那个吗 ” "Is that it?"
当然了 原来它就在沙发垫的缝隙里 And sure enough, there it was, wedged between the couch cushions,
-马丁肖特的钱包 -马丁肖特的钱包 -Martin Short's wallet. -Martin Short's wallet.
不是他偷走的 I mean, he didn't steal it.
-不是吧 -哇 真疯狂 -No! -Wow, that's insane.
太疯狂了 能再给我一杯吗 That's madness. Could I get another one, please?
天啊 我从不知道百老汇演出的见面会 God, I never knew that meet and greets at Broadway shows could be
竟然几乎成了暴力的温床 such hotbeds for, like, almost violence.
绝对的 但谁在乎什么马丁肖特 当你身边坐的这位是 Oh, big-time. But who cares about Martin Short when you're sitting next to
“他在这 他在那 到处都是他”的罗伊肯特 "He's here, he's there, he's every-fucking-where, Roy Kent,"
-罗伊肯特 -约翰是足球迷 -Roy Kent! -John's football-mad.
真棒 你支持哪支球队 Oh, terrific. Who do you support?
我在曼联和曼城间来回转换 Well, I bounce back and forward between United and City.
通常哪支球队赢就支持哪支 Whichever club's winning, typically.
-我是铁杆球迷 -听起来是如此 -I love it. -Sounds like it.
退役生活如何 罗伊 So, how's retirement, Roy?
我无法想象你现在的生活有多不一样 I mean, I can't imagine how different your life must be now.
你肯定很怀念过去吧 You must miss it all like mad, yeah?
不会 I don't.
你现在从事什么 So what are you doing now then?
很忙 Oh, you know, busy, busy.
我目前在球队执教 I'm actually doing a bit of coaching at the moment.
-没听说呢 真不错 -对 下周有冠军杯决赛 -I hadn't heard that. Fantastic. -Yeah. We got a cup final next week.
在10月…是什么冠军杯 In October… W-What cup's that?
西伦敦九岁以下女生冠军杯 West London under-nine girls.
再给我一杯 谢谢 Can I get another one, please?
其实最近天空体育台邀请他当解说员 He's actually had an offer from Sky Sports to be a pundit.
当然 你做那份工作一定会很出色 Oh, of course you have. You'd be amazing at that job.
我喜欢这个主意 I love that idea.
我再同意不过了 I couldn't agree more.
我想说你的退役演讲棒极了 Can I just say that your retirement speech was amazing.
这是我父亲 It's the first time my father's forwarded me
五年来首次给我转发 主题不是反移民的电邮 an e-mail in the last five years that wasn't about the scourge of immigration.
那对我来说意义重大 所以非常谢谢你 And that really meant a lot to me, so thank you.
别客气 Cheers.
不过事后感觉一定很奇怪吧 It must've been super weird afterwards though, right?
请再给我两杯 I'm gonna need two more of these, please.
请用 先生们 Here you go, gentlemen.
-谢谢你 梅 -谢谢 梅 -Thank you, Mae. -Thanks, Mae.
厄尔的事太令人难过了 Shame what happened to Earl.
它和主人奈吉尔以前常来这里 Him and his owner, Nigel, used to come in here all the time,
直到那家伙开始到处乱大小便 till he started shitting and pissing all over the place.
是 老狗这样很正常 Yeah. Nah, that's pretty common with older dogs.
不 我说的是奈吉尔 No, I'm talking about Nigel.
-敬厄尔 -它是只乖狗狗 -To Earl. -He was a good boy.
嘿 教练 我能说句实话吗 晚餐先暂停 Hey, Coach, can I get real a second? Forget my meal a second?
放下啤酒 向伙伴敞开心扉 Put down your beer and tell your buddy how you feel a second?
-对 -好啊 -Yeah. -Sure.
听着 我完全同意 用尽一切办法让丹尼找回状态 Look, I'm all for whatever it takes to help Dani get back to being a hundred.
但是请外面的人过来 But this whole idea of bringing in someone from the outside
帮忙让他找回状态 to help us get him there,
我对这个做法感觉不太舒服 I don't know, it just kinda puts a little knot in my belly.
我不知道为什么 I'm not sure why.
理由也许是你最爱的那首野姜花乐队歌名 Sounds like it might be your favorite Gin Blossoms song.
-《跟着你下坠》 -不 《嘿 嫉妒心》 -"Follow You Down"? -No, "Hey Jealousy."
不 《嘿 嫉妒心》是他们最棒的歌 No, "Hey Jealousy" is their best song.
我最爱的是《跟着你下坠》 My favorite song of theirs is "Follow You Down."
你不知道那个故事 You don't know that story?
无所谓 但回到你说的 Doesn't matter, but to your point,
我也以为是嫉妒心使然 you know, I thought it might've been that green-eyed monster too,
可是我觉得我内心有一部分 but you know, I think there's a part of me
就是…怎么说呢 不信任心理治疗师 that just doesn't-- I don't know… trust therapists?
为什么 And how come?
米歇尔和我进行夫妻心理治疗时 Well, when Michelle and I did couple's therapy,
对方是她已经见了一段时间的 心理治疗师 然后… it was with this therapist she'd been going to for a while, and…
我觉得自己被算计了 I just kinda felt like I was being set up, you know.
我感觉治疗师不是在听我倾诉 Like I was going in there not to be listened to,
而是在说我做错的一切 but rather just to hear about all the things I'd been doing wrong.
那是你唯一一次看心理治疗师 And that's the only time you've ever seen a therapist?
对 Oh, yeah.
记得我被游轮舞者甩了时 你对我说的话吗 Do you remember what you said when I got dumped by that cruise ship dancer
我当时发誓再也不会和舞者约会 and swore I would never date another dancer again?
“踢踏舞鞋能给我吗 ” "Can I have your tap shoes?"
“每个人都是不同的” "All people are different people."
我这么说吗 I said that?
说得挺好 That's pretty good.
对 Yeah.
-后来你和其他舞者约会过吗 -很多 -You went out with another dancer though? -Many.
太多了 Too many.
今晚我话太多了 抱歉 Sorry if I was prattling on too much this evening.
你一如既往地迷人 You were as charming as ever.
你确定不和我回家 You sure you don't wanna come back to mine?
我明早有事 记得吗 Got an early morning, remember?
对 如果我通过测试了 请告诉我 Right. Yeah, well, let me know if I passed the test.
-这周一起吃午餐 -太好了 -Lunch later this week? -Perfect.
晚安 Night.
谢谢 Thank you.
-回头见 -拜拜 -See ya. -Bye.
再见 Cheers.
-怎么样 -我觉得他和你很配 -Well? -I think he's a really good match.
他在年龄方面合适、经济方面合适 I mean, he's age-appropriate, financially appropriate.
他不害羞 He's not shy.
-我很喜欢他这一点 -绝对的 -I love that about him. -Totally.
我的娘 Fucking hell.
有什么问题吗 Is there a problem?
说真话 Tell the truth.
他还行 仅此而已 He's fine. That's it.
这没什么问题 大部分人都还行 Nothing wrong with that, most people are fine.
但问题不在于他 问题在于 你为什么觉得他配得上你 But it's not about him. It's about why the fuck you think he deserves you.
你值得一个 让你感觉自己被闪电击中的对象 You deserve someone who makes you feel like you've been struck by lightning.
你可别被一个“还行”打发了 Don't you dare settle for fine.
不过这和我无关 Not that it's any of my business.
（欢迎来到内尔森路体育馆 AFC里士满）
（你的爪印永远留在我们的心上）
（给狗狗厄尔 你的去世让我很难过）
（我爱你）
（里士满）
435、436、437、438、439、440 435, 436, 437, 438, 439, 440--
希金斯 小心 Higgins, look alive!
真糟 Nuts.
抱歉 我想向大家介绍 莎伦菲尔德斯通医生 Sorry. I just wanted to introduce you to Dr. Sharon Fieldstone.
她将为丹尼进行辅导 She's gonna be looking after Dani.
这是内森、彼尔德教练和泰德拉索 This is Nathan, Coach Beard, and Ted Lasso.
不必起立 Oh, you don't need to stand.
但是起立比较方便做这个 But it makes it a lot easier to do this.
很高兴认识你 It's nice to meet you
请把这首歌当作我们的见面礼 Consider this song Our way to greet you
嘿 Hey!
我了解到丹尼出现了易普症 So I understand that Dani has developed a case of the yips?
嘿 Hey!
好吧 连续两个奇怪的举动 怎么回事 Okay, that's two weird things in a row. What's going on?
大夫 我们不喜欢用那个词 Well, Doc, we don't like using that word around here.
为什么 Why?
要怎么… How do I…
你们干嘛看着我 Why y'all looking at me?
他才是无所不知…好吧 行 大夫… He's the one that knows everyth-- Oh, okay, all right. Well, Doc--
医生 Doctor.
对 是 当然 抱歉 Right, yes, of course. Sorry.
医生 这是迷信 Doctor. It's a superstition.
明白了 易普症… I see. Well, the yips…
并不是迷信 are not a superstition.
这是一种精神问题 They are a mental condition,
可以通过训练治愈 而不是否认 one that can be fixed with discipline, not denial.
所以你有信心能帮我们治疗丹尼 对吗 So, then, you're pretty confident that you can help us out with Dani?
你的工作表现优秀吗 Are you good at your job?
这个… I mean…
不用理会他们 Don't worry about them.
把那套谦虚的鬼话收起来 和我实话实说 Put all bullshit humility aside and be honest with me.
你的工作表现优秀吗 是或否 Are you good at your job? Yes or no?
是 Yes.
我相信你 I believe you.
你在工作上表现有多优秀 我就是你两倍的优秀 Well, as good as you are at your job, I'm twice as good at mine.
-很荣幸能请到你 -多谢 -We're very lucky to have you. -Thank you very much.
-那太好了 -多谢你来这里 -That's good to know. -Thank you for coming here.
好 我应该在哪里进行心理咨询 Right, so where should I be conducting my sessions?
不如你用我的办公室吧 Why don't I set you up in my office, all right?
太好了 很高兴认识大家 抱歉打扰你们的游戏 Great. Nice meeting all of you and sorry to have interrupted your game.
你们的纪录是多少 What's your record?
1236 Oh, 1,236.
厉害 Impressive.
她看起来很幽默 She seems fun.
我用你的办公室真的没问题吗 You're sure you're okay, me using your office?
你不是出于礼貌才说 Not just being polite?
可能两者都有 但我坚持 I-- It's probably a bit of both, but I insist.
-谢谢你 希金斯先生 -不客气 -Thank you, Mr. Higgins. -No problem.
嘿 大夫 医生 Hey, Doc… tor.
这位就是丹尼罗哈斯 This right here, this is Dani Rojas.
丹尼 这是莎伦菲尔德斯通医生 Dani, this is Dr. Sharon Fieldstone.
很高兴认识你 丹尼 你感觉如何 Nice to meet you, Dani. How you feeling?
像个谋杀犯 Like a murderer.
请坐 Please.
没事的 You're all right.
好 需要我留下帮你和丹尼熟悉一下吗 Yeah. Want me to stick around, help you break the ice with Dani here?
我们应该没什么问题 拉索教练 谢谢 I think we'll be all right, Coach Lasso. Thank you.
好的 是 Okay. Yeah.
-你没事吧 -是 -You okay? -Oh, yeah.
这很棒 是 This is gonna be perfect. Yeah.
别忘了 那个时候 破铜烂铁乐队的票很难买到 And remember, this is when tickets to Stomp were tough to get.
总之 这个高个红发男挤到我面前 Anyway, this tall redhead pushes in front of me,
于是我拍拍他的肩膀 他转过身说 so I tap him on the shoulder, he turns around and goes,
“有问题吗 ”我说：“对 是有问题” "Is there a problem?" I go, "Yeah, there's a problem."
他说：“别紧张 没关系 我认识编舞师” He goes, "It's all right. It's all right. I know the choreographer."
你猜是谁… Guess who it was…
没事吧 瑞贝卡 Is everything okay, Rebecca?
我只是…约会这件事真奇怪 对吧 It's j-- Dating is so odd, isn't it?
-是 -我们其实只是陌生人 -Yeah. -I mean, we are all strangers essentially.
所以怎么可能真正 对某个人感到有安全感 So I mean, how is it ever possible to truly feel safe with someone?
应该不可能 I suppose you can't.
我朋友弗洛有次和我说 You know, my friend, Flo, once told me
亲密关系在于敞开内心 允许自己被伤害 that intimacy was all about leaving yourself open to being attacked.
-噢 -这不是很可怕吗 -Oh. -Isn't that horrible?
我没听过这个说法 I've not heard that one.
但是这确实让你意识到这件事有多可怕 But I mean, it does make you realize how scary it is,
允许自己再次进入亲密关系这件事 allowing yourself to be intimate again.
你必须有勇气 I mean, you really do have to be brave.
答案就是这么简单 对吧 And that's it right there, isn't it?
我必须拥有足够的勇气才能让… I need to be brave enough to let someone…
一个无比美妙的人爱我 wonderful love me,
而不害怕被伤害 不害怕… without fear of being hurt and without fear of being…
感到安全 safe.
抱歉 你是在和我分手吗 Sorry… Are you breaking up with me?
真对不起 其实…我没意识到 I'm so sorry. I-- I actually didn't know I was
-我要这么做 -不…没关系的 -going to do that-- -No, no, it's-- it's all right.
咖啡我请吧 Coffees are on me.
好的 可以 谢谢 Yeah, fair enough. Cheers.
丹尼罗哈斯… Dani Rojas, Rojas. Dani Rojas.
你好 帅气的教练们 我能加入训练吗 Hello, my beautiful coaches. May I join the drill?
当然 丹尼 Sure thing, Dani, yeah.
但是 嘿 你按自己的节奏来 好吗 But hey, you take this at your own pace, okay?
没问题 教练 You got it, Coach.
她没朝你挥手 Did she not wave back?
-她好像没看到我 -她看到你了 -Oh, I don't think she saw me. -She saw you.
嘿 棒 Hey, all right!
嘿 新加了一堆表情符号呢 你看过了没 Hey, they got a whole bunch of new emojis on here. You see this?
你记得那次他们加了格劳乔 却没加哈勃吗 Do you remember when they added Groucho but no Harpo?
太扯了 It's bullshit.
教练们晚安 多谢你们 请来莎伦医生 她太优秀了 Good night, coaches, and thank you for Dr. Sharon. She's incredible.
不客气 丹尼 很高兴你感觉好起来了 No problem, Dani. Just glad you're feeling better.
是 但稍等一下 我只是好奇 Yeah, but hold on a sec. I'm just curious.
她是怎么…最终是什么帮助了你 What did she-- I mean, what ended up helping you?
莎伦医生帮我记起 Dr. Sharon helped me remember that
虽然足球就是生命 但足球也是死亡 even though football is life, football is also death.
足球也是足球 And that football is football too.
但最主要的 足球就是生命 But mostly that football is life!
好吧 Yeah.
就是这样 Yeah, well, there you have it.
我要上楼去 在好大夫离开前感谢她 You know what, I'm gonna go upstairs, thank the good doc before she splits.
这是应该的 It's the least you can do.
嗨 希金斯 大夫还在吗 Hey, Higgins. Doc still here?
等等 泰德 她在进行心理咨询 Oh, wait, Ted. She's in a session.
咨询 和谁 A session? With who?
-谢谢你 莎伦 真心的 -不客气 -Thank you, Sharon. For real. -You're welcome.
她真棒 She's amazing.
-提埃里 -是 你好 -Thierry? -Oh, yes. Hi.
几个男孩想在菲尔德斯通医生离开前 和她谈一谈 A few of the boys asked to sit down with Dr. Fieldstone before she left.
反正也没什么坏处嘛 I don't see the harm, right?
对 那…很好 No, that-- That's great. Yeah.
-嗨 -嗨 美女 一切还好吗 -Hi. -Hey, gorgeous. What's going on?
我感觉糟透了 I feel like a little shit.
我把我们的快乐约会夜 用在说服你改变主意 I used our fun night out together to try and change your mind
做你不想做的事 about something you don't wanna do.
那么做太没品了 我很抱歉 That was tacky, and I'm really sorry for it.
你真贴心 谢谢你 You're very sweet. Thank you.
我刚下班 I'm leaving work right now.
我可以去一趟维特罗斯超市 买瓶葡萄酒 带过来 I can stop by Waitrose, pick up a bottle of wine, bring it over?
维特罗斯 请问我是在和 该死的女王通话吗 Waitrose, is it? Who am I talking to, the fucking queen?
我很想 但是… I'd love to, but…
该死的 对 今晚是瑜伽师奶夜 抱歉 Oh, fuck! Yeah, it's yoga mums night. Sorry.
对 但你可以之后再乞求我的原谅 Yeah, but you can beg for forgiveness later.
我可以过去叫醒你 I can swing by and wake you up.
罗伊 快点 要开始啦 Roy. Hurry up. It's about to start.
我会醒着等你的 玩得开心 I'll be awake. Have fun, yeah?
拜拜 宝贝 Bye, babe.
来吧 Let's fucking do this.
本周谁将被淘汰 Who will be eliminated this week
这里是英国收视率最高的节目 《情欲大过天》 on the UK's number one show, Lust Conquers All?
会是格里姆斯比的当红美妆柜姐爱莉吗 Will it be Grimsby's top makeup counter associate, Ellie?
赶不走我吧 我能让你的双唇颤动 Can't vote me off, yeah? I'm the one who makes your lips tick.
闭嘴吧 荡妇 Oh, shut up, you slag.
别这样 她很搞笑 Come on. She's hilarious.
还是足球浪子杰米 Or will it be the footballing tart, Jamie?
你们别想摆脱我 我是全岛得分最高的帅哥 You can't get rid of me. I'm the island's top scorer.
性爱方面 Sexually.
天啊 我爱他 God, I love him.
我也是 Oh, same.
-老天 -詹妮斯 给我倒点玫瑰酒 谢谢 -Jesus. -Top up my rosé please, Janice?
…博勒姆伍德的药剂师 …pharmacist from Borehamwood?
-还是克拉拉 伯恩茅斯那位绯闻缠身… -干杯 -Or Clara, Bournemouth's scandalous… -Cheers.
干杯 Cheers.
字幕翻译：易晗