- 抱歉 - 天啊 我受够了 - I'm sorry. - Oh, my God. That's it.
你不敲门就闯进来？ You just barge in here and you don't knock?
难道你不尊重别人的隐私权？ You have no respect for anybody's privacy.
- 瑞秋 你等一下 - 不 你等一下 - Rachel, wait. - No, you wait.
- 我能说一件事吗？ - 什么事？ - Can I just say one thing? - What? What?
这块布编得非常松 我仍能看见… That's a relatively open weave and I can still see your...
- 你的两点 - 噢 - ...nippular area. - Ugh!
中央咖啡厅
亲爱的 告诉他们你病人的故事 Honey, honey, tell them the story about your patient...
那个人如何把事想成另一件事 ...who thinks things are other things.
你了解？ You know?
例如电话响时她却去洗澡 Like when the phone rings and she takes a shower...
差不多就是那样 That's pretty much it.
但你说得很好甜 But you tell it really well, sweetie.
谢谢 Thanks. Okay.
快走开 这样我们才能谈你 Now go away so we can talk about you.
好吧 我会想念你的 Okay. I'll miss you.
他很不错吧 Isn't he great?
他好可爱 也好像很喜欢你 He's so cute. And he likes you so much.
我知道 I know. I know.
他人很好 而且很复杂 He's so sweet. And so complicated, you know?
以一位精神科医师来讲 不会太神经质 And for a shrink, he's not too "shrinky." You know?
他会在沙发上做吗？ So you think you'll do it on his couch?
我不知道… 有点奇怪 Oh. I don't know. That's a little weird.
聚乙稀做的 It's vinyl.
- 好 大家还想要别的东西吗？ - 是的 - Okay. You guys want anything else? - Oh, yes.
- 要 我要… - 抱歉 卖完了 - Could I have...? - Sorry, we're all out.
- 其他人呢？ - 好的 - Anybody else? - Okay.
我是否错过了什么事？ Did I, uh, miss something?
她很生气 因为我看见她的乳房 No, she's still upset because I saw her boobies.
你是怎么看到她的乳房的？ What were you doing seeing her boobies?
那是意外 It was an accident.
这跟拿望远镜和甜甜圈过街的感觉不同 I wasn't across the street with a telescope and a box of doughnuts.
能换个话题吗？ Can we change the subject, please?
没错 因为那不是她的乳房 而是她的胸部 Because, hello? These aren't her "boobies." These are her breasts.
菲比 我要的不只是改变说法 Pheebs, I was hoping for more of a change.
你为什么要难为情呢？你的乳房还蛮不错的 I don't know why you're embarrassed. They were very nice boobies.
"不错"？ "Nice"?
它们很 "不错"？ They were "nice"?
就这样？手套也很不错 That's it? I mean, mittens are "nice."
好 我真是… Okay. Rock, hard place...
左右为难 ...me.
你真搞笑 You're so funny.
他真的很搞笑 He's really funny.
他不讲笑话的时候 我可不想待在这里 I wouldn't want to be there when the laughter stops.
等等 回去上一句 Whoa, whoa. Back up there, sparky.
那是什么意思？ What did you mean by that?
你似乎有亲密上的问题 It seems that maybe you have intimacy issues...
你用你的幽默和人保持距离 ...that you use your humor to keep people at a distance.
哈 Huh.
我是说 我才刚认识你 我也从来没听说过你 I mean, hey, I just met you. I don't know you from Adam.
独生子 对吧？ Only child, right?
父母在你青春期前离婚？ Parents divorced before you hit puberty.
你怎会知道？ Uh-huh. How did you know?
典型课本范例 It's textbook.
各位 Hey, you guys.
你们都认识我爸吧？ You all know my dad, right?
- 打算在纽约待多久？ - 就几天 - How long are you in the city? - A couple of days.
我在市中心有工作 I got a job midtown.
我想和我儿子一起住 I figure I'm better off staying with the kid...
比来回坐渡轮好 ...than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry.
我没见过他 I don't know this one.
- 他是我朋友罗杰 - 嗨 - Oh. This is my friend Roger. - Hi.
- 幸会 罗杰 - 彼此彼此 - Good to meet you. - You too.
玩布偶的那个怎么了？ What happened to the, uh, puppet guy?
- 爸 - 噢 - Dad, uh... - Oh, oh.
抱歉 Excuse me.
罗斯 你老婆还好吗？ So, Ross, uh, how's the wife?
哪壶不开提哪壶了？ Oh for two, huh? Heh.
钱德 快点 说点好笑的 Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny.
我得挂电话了 我也想你 Gotta go. Ha, ha. I miss you too.
我爱你 但现在很晚了 I love you, but it's getting late now...
让我向她打声招呼 嘿 妈妈 Let me say hi. Hey, Ma.
我和包西达大夫约了时间 而且… Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bassida and...
什么？ Excuse me?
你知道这不是妈妈？ Did you know this isn't Ma?
她叫罗妮 Her name's Ronni.
她从事宠物殡葬业 She's a pet mortician.
好 Sure.
你和她多久了… So how long have you been...
记得小时候我常带你去海军军港… Remember when you were a kid, I'd take you to the Navy yard...
看大船？ ...and show you the big ships?
- 从那时候就开始了？ - 没有 才六年 - Since then? - No, it's only been six years.
我只想勾起你美好的回忆 I wanted to give you a nice memory...
让你不会觉得我一直是个王八蛋 ...so you'd know I wasn't always such a terrible guy.
乔伊 你爱过吗？ Joe, have you ever been in love?
我不知道 I don't know.
那就是没有 Then you haven't.
- 你的蕃茄烧焦了 - 你还好意思说我 - You're burning your tomatoes. - Hmm. You're one to talk.
乔 你老爸爱得无法自拔 Joe, your dad's in love, bigtime.
最糟的是我爱上两个不同的女人 And the worst part is, it's with two different women.
天啊 拜托你告诉我 其中一个是妈妈 Oh, man. Please tell me one of them is Ma.
当然其中一个是你妈妈 你秀逗了？ Of course one of them's Ma. What's the matter with you?
这就像你某天起床突然发现 It's like if you woke up one day and found out...
你老爸是个双面人 ...your dad was leading this double life.
好像是为中央情报局工作的间谍 He's, like, actually some spy working for the CIA.
那倒挺酷的 That'd be cool.
这实在是太逊了 This blows.
我知道 为何父母就不能好好当父母？ I know. Why can't parents just stay parents?
为何他们就得成为一般人？ Why do they have to become people?
为何他们要… Why do they have...?
为什么… Why...
你能不能不要一直盯着我的胸部看？ ...can't you stop staring at my breasts?
什么？ What?
那一天你还看得不够吗？ Didn't you get a good enough look the other day?
好了… 我们都已是成年人 All right, we're all adults here.
此事只有一个解决方法 There's only one way to resolve this.
既然你看过她的乳房 Since you saw her boobies...
你应该让她看你的小鸡鸡 ...I think, uh, you're gonna have to show her your pee-pee.
想都别想 You know, I don't see that happening.
快点 他说得没错 以眼还眼 Come on. He's right. Tit for tat.
我不会让你看的 Well I'm not showing you my tat.
谁啊？ Hello?
- 是菲比 - 还有罗杰 - It's Phoebe. - And Rog.
快上来 Come on up.
这下可好 罗杰来了 Oh, good. Rog is here.
- 罗杰怎么了？ - 没什么 小事 - What's the matter with Rog? - Nothing. It's a little thing.
我讨厌这家伙 I hate that guy.
为什么？因为他太善于分析 这是职业病啊 What? So he was a little analytical. That's what he does.
拜托 他没那么糟 Come on, he's not that bad.
你这里错了 如果当初我感觉到她是女同志… That's where you're wrong. Why would I marry her...
我何必和她结婚呢？ ...if I thought on any level that she was a lesbian?
我也不确定 I don't know.
或许你想让你的婚姻失败 Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail.
- 哈 - 为什么？我为什么会这么做？ - Ha, ha. - Why? Why would I? Why?
为什么… Why? Why? Why?
我也不确定 或许自信心不足 I don't know. Maybe low self-esteem?
或许是弥补你抢兄弟姊妹风头的事情 或许… Maybe to compensate for overshadowing a sibling. Maybe...
等等 回到兄弟姊妹的话题 Wait. Go back to that "sibling" thing.
嗯 我不知道 Well, I don't know.
你让你的婚姻碰壁 It's conceivable that you sabotaged your marriage...
好显示你兄弟姊妹在父母面前没那么失败 ...so the sibling would be less of a failure in the parents' eyes.
这太荒谬了 她不成才 我一点都不会感到内疚 That's ridiculous. I don't feel guilty for her failures.
- 你认为我不成才？ - 他不错吧？ - Oh, so you think I'm a failure? - Isn't he good?
不 我不是那个意思 Yeah. No. That's not what I was saying.
多年来我以为你支持我 All these years, I thought you were on my side...
但或许你婚姻失败的目的是想巴结爸妈 ...but maybe you were sucking up to Mom and Dad...
好让他们更心疼你 ...so they'd favor you.
嘿 我娶女同志 是想让你看起来更好 Hey, I married a lesbian to make you look good.
你说得对 You're right.
我说 你说得对 I mean, you're right.
那不是威伯的问题 而是威伯游乐宫 It wasn't just the Weebles, but it was the Weeble Play Palace...
和威伯游轮的问题 ...and the Weeble's Cruise Ship...
它上面的救生艇让威伯能缓缓驶出 ...which had this little lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in.
那很难受 That's tough, tough stuff.
菲比 我们现在该走了 不然就赶不上电影了 Pheebs, if we're gonna catch that movie, we gotta go.
希望你好过一点 瑞秋 Okay. Feel better, okay?
- 菲比 我们快来不及了 甜心 - 好的 - We're gonna be late, sweetie. - Okay.
- 谢谢你做的一切 摩妮卡 - 不客气 - Listen, thanks for everything, Mon. - No problem.
各位 很高兴和各位再度见面 It was great seeing you again.
摩妮卡 饼干别吃太多 Mon, uh, easy on those cookies, okay?
切记 那些东西只是食物… Remember, they're just food...
不是爱 ...they're not love.
我讨厌这家伙 I hate that guy.
晚安 各位 Good night, you guys.
看 这是我们订的女人 Oh, look. It's the woman we ordered.
嘿 需要帮忙吗？ Hey. Can, uh... Can we help you?
不用 谢谢 我在等乔伊•崔比亚尼 Oh. No, thanks. I'm just waiting for, uh, Joey Tribbiani.
我就是乔伊•崔比亚尼 I'm Joey Tribbiani.
喔 不是你 是老乔伊 Oh. Oh, no, not you. Big Joey.
天啊 Oh, my God.
你比照片上帅多了 You're so much cuter than your pictures.
我是罗妮 I'm Ronni.
想吃起司片吗？ Cheese Nip?
乔伊的脑子有点秀逗了 Uh, Joey's having an embolism...
但我要起司片 ...but I'd go for a Nip.
大部分人在宠物过世后 You see, most people, when their pets pass on...
希望他们像睡觉那样躺着 ...they want them laid out like they're sleeping.
但有时有些人要他们摆出姿势 But occasionally you get a person who wants them in a pose.
像追自己的尾巴 Like, uh, chasing their tail.
或跳起来接住飞盘 Or, uh, jumping to catch a Frisbee.
乔伊 如果我先走一步 我的姿势要像找钥匙一样 Joey, if I go first, I want to be looking for my keys.
- 好好笑 - 嗨 乔 - That's a good one. - Hey, Joe.
嗨 爸爸 罗妮来了 Hey, Dad. Ronni's here.
- 嗨 - 嘿 - Huh? - Hi.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
亲爱的 Hello, babe.
你来做什么？ What are...? What are you doing here?
你的假发留在我的住处 Oh, uh, you left your hair at my apartment.
我想你明天开会用得上 I figured you'd need it for your meeting.
谢谢 Thank you. Uh...
谁想玩大老二？ So who's up for a big game of Kerplunk?
听着 我… Look, I, uh...
我不该来这里 I shouldn't have come.
我该走了 我不想错过最后一班地铁 I gotta go. I'll miss the last train.
不 我不想让你这么晚还搭地铁 No, I don't want you taking that thing this late.
- 那我要睡哪里？这里吗？ - 哇 - Where am I gonna stay? Here? - Whoa.
我们去住饭店 We'll go to a hotel.
- 不行 - 不行 - No, you won't. - No, we won't.
你们去饭店就一定会嘿咻 If you go to a hotel, you'll be doing stuff.
我要你们待在这里 这样我就可以盯着你们 I want you right here, where I can keep an eye on you.
你要盯着我们？ You're gonna keep an eye on us?
没错 先生 That's right, mister.
不管你年纪多大 只要住在我家屋檐下… I don't care how old you are, while you're here...
一切就得听我的 ...you're gonna live by my rules.
那就是不准你和你女朋友睡在一起 And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.
哇 他好严格 Wow, he's strict.
爸 你睡我房问 Dad, you'll be in my room.
罗妮 你睡钱德的房问 Ronni, uh, you can stay in Chandler's room.
谢谢 你真是个好孩子 Thanks. You're a good kid.
来 我带你去看我房问 Come on. I'll show you to my room.
感觉真奇怪你没说 "不 谢了 时候不早了" That sounds weird when it's not followed by, "No, thanks, it's late."
好 只有今晚而已 明天你就得做出改变 Okay. This is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta change.
- 六年时间可不短 - 什么改变？ - Six years is long enough. - What kind of change?
- 和罗妮分手 - 我不能 - Break up with Ronni... - I can't.
要不就和我妈妈离婚 这样是不对的 Then come clean with Ma. This is not right.
我不想听 快进我房里 I don't wanna hear it. Now go to my room.
嘿 踢踏舞者 Hey, kickie.
- 你在干什么？ - 想让自己舒服一点 - What are you doing? - Trying to get comfortable.
- 穿着内裤我睡不着 - 你非穿不可 - I can't sleep in my underwear. - Well, you're gonna.
我一直在想… I've been thinking...
我总是看见女人叠在女人上面 ...about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls.
她们是尾对尾相接 还是是像煎饼一样叠起来？ Are they end-to-end, or tall, like pancakes?
你知道我什么意思 这些和我约过会的女人 You know what I mean. How I date all these women.
因为我总是想 当真命天女出现时 I always figured, when the right one comes along...
我就会勇往直前 坚持到最后 ...I'll be able to be a standup guy and go the distance, you know?
但如今看见我爸 我想… Now I'm looking at my Dad thinking...
你不是他 你是你自己 You're not him, you're you.
当他们希望你继承你爸的事业时 你有屈服吗？ When they wanted you to go into your father's business, did you cave?
- 没有 - 没有 - No. - No.
你决心从事没有工作的演艺事业 You decided to go into the out-of-work-actor business.
这不是一件容易的事 但你办到了 That wasn't easy, but you did it.
我也相信 当真命天女出现时 And I believe that when the right woman comes along...
你会有勇气对她说 ...you'll have the guts to say:
"抱歉 我已婚" "No thanks, I'm married."
你真的这样认为？ You really think so?
真的 我真的这样认为 Yeah. I really do.
- 谢谢 钱德 - 滚开 - Thanks, Chandler. - Get off.
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hi. - Hi.
有事吗？ May I help you?
乔伊说我能用你的浴室 因为钱德正在用我们的 Uh, Joey said I could use your shower since, uh, Chandler's in ours.
好 你是谁？ Okay. Who are you?
- 我叫罗妮 罗妮•罗普拉诺 - 哦 - Oh, uh, I'm Ronni. Ronni Rapalono. - Uh-huh.
情妇？ The mistress?
- 请进 - 谢谢 - Um, come on in. - Thanks.
我叫瑞秋 浴室在那里 Hi, I'm Rachel. Bathroom's up there.
嘿 听好 罗妮 Hey, Ronni.
钱德进浴室多久了？ How long has Chandler been in the shower?
大约五分钟 Oh. Like, uh, five minutes.
太好了 Perfect.
请系好安全带 Fasten your seat belts...
看小鸡鸡的时间到了 ...it's pee-pee time.
嘿 崔比亚尼先生 Hey, Mr. Trib.
嘿 早安 亲爱的 Hey. Good morning, dear.
钱德•宾 该换我看你的小东西了 Chandler Bing, it's time to see your thing.
- 你是怎么搞的？ - 我以为你是钱德 - What's the matter with you? - I thought it was Chandler.
你应该在浴室 这样我才能看见你的小东西 You were supposed to be in there so I could see your thing.
我的小东西在里面 和我在一起 Sorry, my thing was in there with me.
- 嘿 - 菲比 - Hey. - Hey, Pheebs.
- 还好吧？ - 不错 - How's it going? - Good. Oh, oh.
罗杰想邀大家一起吃晚餐 Roger's having a dinner thing and he wanted me to invite you guys.
- 怎么了？ - 没事 - So, what's going on? - Nothing.
只是… It's just that, uh...
是罗杰 It's Roger.
我不知道 有些事… Um, ahem, I don't know. There's something about... Ahem.
基本上我们认为他… Basically, we just feel that he's, uh...
我们讨厌他 We hate that guy.
我们讨厌他 We hate him.
菲比 我们很抱歉 We're sorry, Pheebs.
好吧 Uh-huh. Okay.
是不是他太有洞察力 Don't you think maybe it's just that he's so perceptive...
所以吓到你们了？ ...that it freaked you out?
- 不 我讨厌他 - 不 我们讨厌他… - No, I hate him. - No, we hate him.
抱歉 I'm sorry.
妈妈 你来干什么？ Ma. What are you doing here?
我把这个带给你 I came to give you this...
- 还有这一巴掌 - 哇 - ...and this. - Ow.
你的大戒指打到很痛 Big ring.
你为什么要对你爸讲一大堆 Why did you fill your father's head with that garbage...
关于改邪归正的废话呢？ ...about making things right?
一切事情本来都很好 Things were fine the way they were.
里面有鸡肉 放冰箱冰好 There's chicken in there. Put it away.
拜托 乔伊 真的 For God's sake, Joey. Really.
等一下 你都知道？ Hold on. You knew?
我当然知道 你认为呢？ Of course I knew. What do you think?
你爸又不是詹姆士•邦德 Your father is no James Bond.
你应该听听他的谎言 You should have heard his cover stories.
"我在会计家里睡" "I'm sleeping over at my accountant's."
那是什么屁话？拜托 I mean, what is that? Please.
你怎能…？ So then, how could you...?
记得你爸以前的模样吗？ Do you remember how your father used to be?
总是大喊大叫 总是不开心 Always yelling. Nothing made him happy.
连工作室和瓶内的小船也无法让他开心 Not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle.
现在他很开心 Now he's happy.
这样很好 他好歹有个嗜好 I mean, it's nice. He has a hobby.
妈妈 我无意冒犯 但是… Ma, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but...
你到底在说什么？ ...what the hell are you talking about?
- 我是说 那你怎么办？ - 我很好啊 - I mean, what about you? - Me? I'm fine.
听着 亲爱的… Look, honey...
在理想的世界中 ...in an ideal world...
没有她 而且你爸是个大帅哥 ...there'd be no her and your father would look like Sting.
再告诉你别的 And I'll tell you something else:
自从那贵妇犬一样的女人出现后 Ever since that poodle-stuffer came along...
他感觉很羞耻 变得对我很用心 ...he's been so ashamed of himself that he's been more attentive.
并且开始对我体贴 He's been more loving.
每天都像我们的结婚纪念日 It's like every day is our anniversary.
我该为你高兴？ I'm happy for you?
不必了 Well, don't be.
因为现在全搞砸了 Because now everything's screwed up.
我只想回到像从前一样 I just want it the way it was.
妈妈 对不起 Ma, I'm sorry.
我以为我做了你想做的事 I just did what I thought you'd want.
我知道 亲爱的 我知道 I know you did, cookie. Oh, I know you did.
告诉我 So tell me...
你见到她了吗？ Did you see her?
见到了 Yeah.
你比她漂亮十倍都不止 You're 10 times prettier than she is.
嘴巴真甜 That's sweet.
我打得过她吗？ Could I take her?
你有这么大的戒指 她没辙 With this ring, no contest.
- 怎么了 甜心？ - 没事 - What's wrong, sweetie? - Nothing.
到底怎么了？快说嘛 No, no. What's wrong? Come on.
好吧 Okay.
好吧 我没事 It's nothing. I'm fine.
只是我的朋友 It's just, um... It's my friends.
他们对你有意见 They have a liking problem with you...
其实… ...in that, um...
他们不喜欢你… ...they don't.
他们不喜欢我？ Oh. They don't?
不过 你知道… But you know...
他们看不见 只有我才能看见的好处 ...they don't see all of the wonderfulness that I see.
他们看不见你体贴的一面 They don't see all the good stuff and all the sweet stuff.
他们认为你有点… They think you're a little...
- 什么？ - 执着的恐怖 - What? - Intense and creepy.
噢 Oh.
但我 菲比不这么认为 But I don't. Me. Phoebe.
我对他们的反应 丝毫不感到惊讶 Well, I'm not at all surprised they feel that way.
不惊讶吗？这就是你棒的地方 You're not? See, that's why you're so great.
当群体动力失调时 Actually, it's quite typical behavior...
这是很平常的反应 ...when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic.
这种相互依赖… You know, this kind of codependent...
情绪障碍 ...emotionally stunted...
坐在那家烂咖啡屋 拿着又大又蠢的咖啡杯 ...sitting in your stupid coffeehouse, with your stupid big cups...
或许还有乳头在上面 ...which, I'm sorry, might as well have nipples on them.
你们都会说 "噢 定义我的性格 定义我的性格" And you're all like, "Oh, define me. Define me.
"爱我 我需要爱" Love me. I need love."
你和你爸谈过了？ So you talked to your dad, huh?
对 他要以我妈妈希望的方式 继续对我妈妈劈腿 Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on Ma, like she wanted.
我妈妈要继续假装她一无所知 Ma's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does.
我妹妹蒂娜不能再见她丈夫了 And my sister Tina can't see her husband anymore...
因为他接到禁制令 ...because he got a restraining order.
这两件事没关系 但我今天才听说 Which has nothing to do with it, except that I found out today.
哇 Wow.
沃顿山这里的事全变了 Things sure have changed here on Walton's mountain.
乔伊 你没事吧？ So, Joey, are you okay?
或许吧 Yeah, I guess.
他们是… 父母 It's just... You know, they're parents.
你不得不随他们的意思 After a certain point, you gotta let go.
即使你知道这样做不对 Even if you know better...
但你还是得让他们犯自己的错误 ...you gotta let them make their own mistakes.
我只是想… And just think...
几年后我们就会和他们一样 ...in a couple years, we get to turn into them.
拜托 Oh, please.
如果我像他们一样 我不是变成… If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond...
追逐年轻帅哥的金发醉鬼老玻璃 ...chasing after 20-year-old boys...
就是变得和我妈妈一样 ...or I'll end up like my mom.
- 嗨 - 嗨 菲比 - Hey. - Hey, Pheebs.
还好吧？ How's it going?
还好 只是我和罗杰分手了 Okay, except I broke up with Roger.
噢 Oh.
得了吧 Yeah, right.
不 是真的 No, no, really. Aw.
- 怎么了？ - 我说不上来 我是说… - What happened? - Ugh. I don't know. I mean...
他是个好人 He's a good person...
而且还对我很体贴 ...and he can be really sweet.
他在某些方面很适合我 And in some ways, I think he is so right for me.
只是… 我讨厌这个人 It's just, I hate that guy.
怎么样？ Hey, Joey. What's going on?
一劳永逸解决乳房风波 Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express.
下一站 瑞秋•葛林 Next stop, Rachel Green.
乔伊 你在搞什么鬼？ Joey, what the hell were you doing?
对不起 看错乳房 Sorry, wrong boobies.
乔伊 你好 Hello, Joey.
你好 亲爱的 Hello, dear.