《绝望主妇》前情提要 Previously on Desperate Housewives...
布里与装修工的感情突飞猛进 Bree's affair with her contractor broke new ground.
-我能否款待你一顿晚餐 -约会吗 - Perhaps we could make you dinner. - Like a date?
我真想快点长大 就能戴这些美丽的首饰了 I can't wait till I ow up so I can have beautiful things.
加布尽情宠溺她的亲生女儿格雷斯 Gaby doted on her biological daughter Grace.
看看是谁这么想念她的大姐姐啊 Looking who's missing her big sister.
勒奈特忙得不可开交 Lynette had too much on her hands.
给我找个保姆 Get me a nanny.
苏珊发现要想瞒住她的新工作不为世人所知 Susan found that keeping her new job a secret...
我的合伙人...损失不能由他们来承担 My partners... are not gonna eat the cost.
9000块 $9,000?
代价非常之大 Was going to be expensive.
然而她的秘密其实已经被发现了 But her secret had already been discovered.
艾玛·格雷厄姆是个平凡的女人 Emma Graham was an ordinary woman.
就像许多平凡女人一样 And like most ordinary women,
她有着不平凡的梦想 she had an extraordinary dream.
她不甘于只是做丈夫心目中的贤妻 She wanted her husband to know she was more than just a wife.
女儿心目中的 She wanted her daughter to know
良母 she was more than just a mother.
她更要邻里之间 She wanted her neighbors to know
对她刮目相看 she was more than just the woman who lived next door.
所以艾玛下决心 So Emma made a decision
把梦想变为现实 to turn her dream into reality.
我想做一场歌舞秀 I wanna do a cabaret show.
我需要一个乐队 配器法 I'll need a band, orchestrations,
音响设备 你来给我出钱 and sound equipment, and you are gonna pay for all of it.
于是艾玛·格雷厄姆的左邻右舍 亲朋好友 And that is how Emma Graham's friends and neighbors came to gather
两星期后齐聚smokehouse lounge at the smokehouse lounge two weeks later.
他们很快就会发现 They would soon learn
艾玛·格雷厄姆一点也不简单 Emma Graham wasn't so ordinary after all.
艾玛展示自己天赋的梦想 Yes, Emma's dream of sharing her talent
终于成真 had finally come true.
不幸的是 那个夜晚的最后一句高音 Unfortunately, the high note that ended the evening...
却并非艾玛所唱 did not come from Emma.
我要杀了你 I'm gonna kill you!
你个贱人 You whore!
行了 女士们 别闹了 Okay, ladies, please!
我的鼻子 我的鼻子 My nose, my nose. Aah!
一周前
她深知自己在冒天下之大不韪 She knew what she was doing was wrong.
也清楚自己在铤而走险 She knew it was very dangerous.
更明白一旦事情暴露 将会身败名裂 She knew the risks if people found out.
然而苏珊·德尔非诺决心已定 But Susan Delfino was determined
非要搬回紫藤郡不可 to get back to Wisteria Lane,
这也就是她的生活支离破碎的根源 and that is how her world began to fall apart.
你好 我是坦尼娅 Hi. I'm Tanya.
谢谢你选择我 陪你共度良宵 Thank you for choosing to spend time with me.
接下来一个小时我都属于你 I'm all yours for the next hour.
我们何不 How about we start
先互相熟识一下 by getting to know each other a little better?
给我看你的咪咪 Show me your jugs.
你可真...调皮啊 Aren't you... A frisky little... ooh!
我看到咖啡桌上有点灰尘 I see some dirt under the coffee table.
要不要我用吸尘器吸一下 Would you like me to vacuum?
行啊 不过先把那些脱下来 摇摇看 Sure, right after you take out those tots and shake 'em.
慢慢来 Slow down.
我们还有... We've got, um...
还剩59分钟呢 59 more minutes together.
而且 And, uh...
互相先说点下流话热热身 Isn't it sexier to warm each other up
不是更性感么 with some... naughty talk first?
我整天听我老妈 I have to listen to my old lady's
唠叨已经够烦了 blah-blah-blah all day long.
快把上衣脱了 我好看看这些摇钱树 Lose the top so I can see those money-makers.
怎么啦 你从哪查来的这么多波波的叫法 What, are you reading from a boob thesaurus?
别这样 Come on.
难道你不想和我一起 Isn't there some romantic fantasy
共享浪漫的梦幻之情 you'd like to share with me?
好吧 Okay.
你在哺乳期吗 Are you lactating?
你这头猪 Oh, pig!
你绝不能那样 You never do that.
绝不能在对话时拔掉电源 You never pull the plug on a session!
那家伙是个彻头彻尾的性欲狂 The guy was a total perv
明显有着严重的恋母情结 who clearly had serious mother issues.
你害我们失去了一个大客户 You cost us a major client.
但愿他工作时不要谈起 And God forbid he starts talking about this at work.
我们甚至可能失去整个市议会 We could lose the whole city council!
对不起 I'm sorry.
我当时昏了头 I lost my nerve.
苏珊 我不能再这样纵容你了 Susan, I can't keep giving you chances like this.
哇哇扫帚网 Va-va-va-broom.
你想和坦尼娅来个私密互动 Oh, you want a private session with Tanya.
对不起 不可能了 I'm sorry. That's not gonna happen.
她不在这儿干了 She doesn't work for me anymore.
再说一遍 非常抱歉 Oh, once again, I am so sorry.
我忘了法国餐厅过于正式了 I forgot that French restaurant was so formal.
下次 我选个没那么多叉子的地方 Next time, I will pick a place with fewer forks.
再度感谢你帮我解围 Yeah, thanks again for helping me out with that.
我...我觉得挺开心的 Well, I... I had a lot of fun.
晚安 Good night.
金斯 Keith?
你真的觉得开心吗 Did you really have a lot of fun?
是啊 干吗问这个 Yeah. Why do you ask?
因为这是我们第三次约会 Well, because it's our third date, and you just
可你刚才吻我 就像是跟阿姨说晚安似的 kissed me like you were saying good night to your aunt.
我尽量做到对你彬彬有礼 I'm trying to treat you like a lady.
那真贴心 Oh, that's sweet.
现在起 别说话 Now knock it off.
三次 Three times?
一晚上哦 In one night.
天哪 我整个九月也就三次而已 Oh, my God. Three times is my entire september.
我和格雷斯聊得特别开心 I just had the nicest chat with Grace.
她真是太可爱了 She said the cutest thing.
布里昨晚做了三次 Bree had sex three times last night.
别提我的事了 给我讲讲吧 Oh, screw my story. Tell me everything.
性爱真是美妙非凡 The sex was amazing.
就好像是... 怎么形容呢 It was like... oh, how to describe it?
一场歌剧 An opera.
你中途睡着了吗 You fell asleep during it?
跟你们说 和30多岁的男人做爱 I'm telling you, making love to a man in his 30s--
感觉就像 阳光更灿烂了 It's like--oh, the--the sun shines brighter,
草地更鲜绿了 食物也更美味了 the grass looks greener, food tastes better.
好了 我们明白 你做了三次 Okay, we get it. You had sex three times.
三次 Three!
雷尼从纽约回来了 Oh, hey, look. Renee's back from New York.
天哪 你请了她来 Oh, God, you invited her?
怎么啦 现在你又不喜欢雷尼了 What, now you don't like Renee?
我知道她是你朋友 I know she's your friend,
不过她不是又自私又自恋 but isn't she kind of a self-absorbed,
成天以女主角自居吗 narcissistic diva?
说得好 咱们这儿已经有一个了 Good point. We already have one of those.
把杂货店的香槟扔一边去吧 女士们 Drop the drugstore champagne, ladies,
咱们来喝点好的 and make way for the real stuff.
庆祝一下 We are celebrating!
庆祝什么 What's the occasion?
我的离婚协议 Oh, my divorce settlement.
我刚刚向我前夫要了...一大笔这些东西 I just soaked my ex for... well, a whole lot of these.
不是有婚前协议吗 I thought there was a prenup.
有是有 但什么婚前协议 Yep, there was, but no prenup is a match
也抵不过罗森伯格的 for the legal team of grind'em,
-强悍的法律团队 -那是冰茶 - screw'em, and Rothenberg. - That was iced tea.
我只是搞笑一下 Well, I just made it fun.
今晚我想请你们吃晚餐 Now I wanna have you all over for dinner tonight.
我有两箱香槟 I've got two more cases of champagne,
满满一卡车的鱼子酱 还有一堆钱 a truckload of caviar, and a pile of money
多得足够在里面光着身子打滚 你们能来吗 to roll around naked in. What do you say?
真有那么多的话 我一定得去见识见识 If there's more of this, I am definitely there.
好极了 你呢 布里 Great. How about you, Bree?
真希望我能去 但我有约了 Oh, I wish I could, but I have a date.
我需要吃含糖食品 I need to carbo-load.
我也去不了 我们还没找着保姆 I've gotta pass, too. We still haven't found a nanny,
所以一旦汤姆加班 我就得 and so Tom's working late, so I have to go--
苏珊 Yawn. Susan.
我很乐意去 不过今晚得在家里吃通心粉 I would, but it's macaroni and coupon clipping night
剪优惠券 at my house.
真遗憾 看来只有咱俩了 Yawn and sad. Well, I guess it's just you and me.
加布和雷尼 Gaby and Renee.
超级组合 That is great.
我们正说到你们俩的共同之处 We were just talking about how much you two have in common.
我们有共同点吗 加布 Weren't we, Gabs?
谢谢 你的孩子真可爱 Thanks so much. Your baby's really cute.
很高兴认识你 有消息会通知你的 It was nice meeting you. We'll let you know.
谢谢 Thanks.
怎么样 保姆找得怎么样了 Well? Any luck finding a nanny?
没有进展 我已经面试了8个女孩 No. I've interviewed eight girls.
她们不是太没经验 They're all either too inexperienced
要么就是价格太高了 or too expensive.
那个大胸妹妹怎么样呢 Hmm. What about the one with the boobs?
这就是为什么我们不能请她 And that's why we're not hiring her.
别这么早就放弃 Well, don't give up yet,
因为我手里还有一张牌 Because I found us one more applicant.
是吗 你居然这么主动 You did? You took the initiative?
干嘛这么惊讶 Why so surprised?
去年圣诞节的彩灯还亮着呢 Our christmas lights are still up from last year.
她不仅守时 还提前来了 And not only is she punctual, she's early.
-是谁啊 -这么说吧 - Who is it? - Um, let me put it this way.
勒奈特 记得你以前多讨厌山药吗 Lynette, remember how you always used to hate yams?
可后来你试着尝试了第二次 but then you gave them a second chance
觉得它们还不错 后来 And they weren't so bad. And over time,
你还说 我喜欢吃山药 山药真棒 You realized, "I like yams. Yams are great."
但有时候 人就像山药 Well, sometimes, lynette, people are like yams.
你要干什么 What'd you do?
你疯了吗 Are you insane?
我昨晚和她聊过 I was talking to her last night.
我提到我们缺人手 她就说要来 I-I mentioned we might need help, and she volunteered.
你来搞定 You get it.
汤姆 Tommy!
妈 Mom!
她怎么就不能变成个山药 Why couldn't she have been a yam?
好 那这个蒂娜 Okay, so this Tina--
这是他第一次出轨吗 Was that the first time he cheated on you?
不知道 你总能听到花边新闻 Uh, I don't know. You hear stories.
在全明星赛季流言更是铺天盖地 There was this thing during the all-star game--
报纸上全是道格和女招待的照片 Pictures of Doug in the tabloids with a cocktail waitress.
但他带回来一副宝格丽牌手镯 But then he came back with a Bulgari bracelet,
我们就再没提过这事 So we never talked about it.
天呐 嫁给一个有职业运动员 God, being married to a pro athlete--
一定很恐怖 It must be a nightmare.
听上去你已经对他释怀了 Well, sounds like you are well rid of him.
我觉得你很懂我 加布 You know, I feel like you get me, Gaby.
知道为什么吗 因为 And you know why? Because...
我们都倾国倾城 We're both extremely beautiful.
上帝保佑你真有勇气说这话 God bless you for having the courage to say that.
只有像我们这般容貌的人 Only someone who looks like us
才能理解我们身上的重负 Can understand what a burden it can be.
事实上 这负担很棒 Actually, it's pretty awesome.
有时我故意超速驾车 Oh, you know, sometimes I drive fast on purpose
就为试试能否用自己的魅力免除一张罚单 Just to see if I can flirt my way out of a ticket.
就像一种技能 Amateur hour.
我只是弯腰去捡一支笔 I got a bank manager to shave a point off our mortgage
就让一个银行经理为我们的房贷减掉一个百分点 By bending over to pick up a pencil.
直到今天 卡洛斯还戏称这是我的百万臀 To this day, Carlos calls it my million-dollar ass.
等等 我更强 Wait. I can top that.
昨天这对宝贝为我挣了8百万 Yesterday these babies earned me a cool $8 million.
什么意思 What do you mean?
我穿了条性感裙装去我的资产清算听证会 Well, I wore a lut dress to my settlement hearing,
然后道格的律师来到我下榻的宾馆 And afterwards, doug's lawyer came to my hotel
和我再度磋商 to renegotiate.
你和她睡了吗 你太坏了 You slept with him? You're awful.
我知道 I know.
我不该告诉你这些的 I shouldn't have told you that.
别说出去 Keep it to yourself.
亲爱的 我守口如瓶 Oh, honey, I won't tell anyone.
我可不很了解你 Um... I don't know you well enough.
你也得爆点你的猛料 You've gotta give me some dirt on you.
我想不起任何事 I can't think of anything.
真的吗 什么都没有吗 Really? Nothing?
比如说整形手术呢 Like, say... plastic surgery?
什么 What?
亲爱的 我身上可没动过刀 Honey, a scalpel has never touched this body.
可能身上是没有 Maybe not the body...
可那个鼻子明显出自布朗斯基的 But that nose is a dr. Brotski.
我可到处都看到过 I'd know his work anywhere.
你真敢说 你侮辱我 How dare you. I am insulted.
好吧 那年我19岁 只是垫了一小块而已 Okay, fine. I was 19. It was just a little bump.
一般人都这么辩解 That's what they all say.
你是不是也有鼻中隔弯曲 Did you have a deviated septum, too?
别告诉别人 卡洛斯知道 Don't tell anyone. Carlos knows,
但如果其她人知道了 她们可就没完没了了 But if the girls find out, I'd never hear the end of it.
当然 你可以信任我 Of course. You can trust me.
美人儿不撒谎的 I'm beautiful.
那倒是真的 That's true.
早安 Good morning.
早安 亲爱的 Good morning, sweetheart. Mwah.
还是不想跟你讲话 Still not speaking to you.
你们的早餐马上就准备好 Your breakfast will be ready in a minute.
你要咖啡 这就来 You want coffee. I'll get it.
你的炒蛋已经准备好了 Your scrambled eggs are ready.
妈 我还指望能吃上你做的法国吐司呢 Oh, mom, I was hoping for your french toast.
汤姆 她给你做了炒蛋 你就吃掉 She made you eggs, tom. Eat them.
不 没关系 你先读报纸 No, it's no problem. You read your paper,
我去弄吐司 罗德尼 And I'll fix it right up, Rodney.
妈 是汤姆 Uh, Tommy, mom.
我不是这么叫的吗 Oh, didn't I say that?
你跟你爸长得太像了 Oh, it's just that you look so much like your father.
天 又怎么了 Oh, gosh, what now?
我去吧 Oh, let me get her.
我来就是照看孩子的 It's what I'm here for.
看看 Would you look at that?
我妈真是游刃有余 My mother is on top of it,
你坐下来陪你昨晚睡着时踢了三脚的 And you get to sit and have coffee with the man
男人喝杯咖啡 That you kicked three times "In your sleep" Last night.
我只能小小地容忍你妈 Look, I can take your mother in small doses,
可她要是天天住在这里 But her living here every day--
我不知道你对她有什么意见 You know, I never got what this thing is
你说你爱她 You have with her. I mean, you say you love her.
她和孩子们相处融洽 你还有什么好抱怨的 She's great with the kids. What's your beef?
好吧 你真想知道原因吗 Okay, you really wanna know what it is?
-当然 -好吧 我受不了他把你惯成的样子 - Yeah. - Okay. I can't stand the person she turns you into.
她穿着围裙服侍你的时候 You become this neanderthal...
你变得衣来伸手 饭来张口 Pfft. While she's tripping over her apron strings
她对我宠爱有加 To serve you. So she likes to dote on me,
我不介意这份厚待 有什么大不了的 And I don't mind the attention. What's the big deal?
-警报解除 她没事了 -谢谢 - False alarm. She's fine. - Thank you.
还有 Oh, and by the way...
-再来点咖啡 -对 - More coffee. - Yes.
马上就来 Right away.
告诉你 如果你 Just know if you ever
这样对我举着咖啡杯 Hold your coffee cup up to me,
我会把咖啡杯摔得稀巴烂 You will be tapping it with a stump.
麦克 我正准备给你打电话 我和保罗·杨谈过 Mike. I was gonna call you. I was talking to paul young.
他和他的新婚妻子很喜欢你们的房子 He and the new missus are really enjoying the house.
是吗 Are they?
对 保罗想问你们是否 Yeah, and paul was wondering if you would be interested
想卖掉这栋房子 In selling the place.
和愿意出大价钱 He's willing to make a very generous offer.
李 你把我们的房子租给那家伙 Lee, I never kicked your ass
我从没找你算账过 For renting our house to that guy
因为你先前不知道我们有过节 可你现在知道了 'cause you didn't know our history, but now you do.
所以我在想 你是不是个白痴 So I gotta wonder, are you an idiot?
抱歉 保罗想让我问你 I'm sorry. Paul wanted me to ask.
苏珊和我现在努力工作筹钱 Susan and I are working really hard to save money.
你去告诉保罗 契约日一到 You tell Paul that the day his lease is up,
我们就搬回家 We're moving home.
喂 Hello?
是我 我刚撞见麦克 Hey, it's me. I just ran into Mike.
-你问他房子的事了吗 -问了 他不感兴趣 - Did you ask him about the house? Yeah. - He wasn't interested.
你告诉他我出的价高于市场价了吗 Did you tell him I'm willing to pay above market value?
我还没来得及提 他就回绝了 I could have, but I didn't want to get punched.
你令我很失望 李 You disappoint me, Lee.
还有其它房源 保罗 There are other houses, Paul.
不 我想买这幢房子 No. I need this one.
幸好我还有其它办法 Fortunately, I have another way to handle this.
你的存款将于周一清零 Your deposit should clear on Monday,
这是你的明细单 And this will be your balance.
等等 不对劲 Wait. This isn't right.
我们账户里应该还有很多钱 We should have a lot more money in here.
对 去年你清洗的银手链 Yes. The silver bracelet that you cleaned last year
是我祖母的 That belonged to my grandmother.
你觉得值多少钱 What do you think it's worth?
好 Okay. Um...
对 我明天过去 Yeah, I'll come by tomorrow.
这是你借给我的金项链 Hi. Here's that gold necklace you lent me.
你要用来干嘛 你们要去浪漫约会吗 What do you need it for? You guys going on a fancy date?
不 我只是 No. I just, uh...
我只是想把它要回来 Just needed it back.
你还好吧 You okay?
想聊聊么 You want to talk about something?
我不能说 I can't.
我帮你找张纸巾 Um... I'm gonna-- I'm gonna find you a tissue.
苏珊 我刚才去了银行 Susan, I was just at the bank.
我们的活期存款少了九千块 We're missing $9,000 from our checking account.
你去了银行 You went to the bank?
到底发生什么事了 是你取了那笔钱吗 What the hell's going on? Did you take that money out?
是的 Yes.
苏珊 Susan?
苏珊 那笔钱是怎么回事 Susan, what happened to that money?
她借给我了 She lent it to me.
为了佩奇的出生 我们需要些钱 W-we had some bills from Paige's birth
来付保险费 that weren't covered by insurance,
苏珊很爽快的帮我渡过难关 and Susan very kindly offered to help us out.
没错 That's right.
她周五就会还我 And she's gonna pay it back by... by Friday.
利息也还 With interest.
或者就免了 毕竟我们是朋友 Or not... because, I mean, we're friends,
我们就没有必要付利息了 so... why would you charge us interest?
我回去工作了 I gotta get back to work...
以防我们还有别的朋友需要用钱 in case any of our other friends need money.
非常感谢 Thank you so much.
不用客气 You're so welcome.
有什么要向我倾诉的吗 Anything you wanna tell me?
有 Yeah.
但你发誓不会说出去吗 But promise you won't yell?
你在色情网站工作 You did porn on the internet?!
不是 那只是穿着贴身内衣裤打扫房间 No, it was just cleaning in lingerie.
我从来没裸拍过 与性无关 I--there--I was never naked. There was no sex.
除非男士是为了看清洁秘决 Well, unless the guys were watching for cleaning tips,
要么就是色情片 苏珊 你怎么能做这种事呢 it's porn. Susan! How could you do this?!
听着 我已经感觉很糟糕了 Look, I feel bad enough already.
你应该自惭形秽 如果麦克或是孩子们发现了怎么办 Well, you should! What if Mike finds out? Or your kids?
嗨 对你到是说得容易 来这里评价我 Hey, it is really easy for you to come down here
你可是在郊区住着五间卧室的大房子 from your 5-bedroom house in the suburbs and criticize me.
而我已经不住紫藤街了 I am not on Wisteria lane anymore.
看看我和麦克有多么努力 Look at what Mike and I are trying to climb out of!
我们甚至付不起M.J在学校的午餐费了 We can't even afford hot lunches for M.J. at school,
下次你再评论我的时候 先想想这些吧 So just think about that next time you wanna judge me.
好吧 Okay.
我不指手画脚了 我们还是朋友 Done judging. Back to being a friend.
很抱歉你不得不做这个 I'm sorry you had to do that.
我也是 Me, too.
道格 你在这里干什么呢 Doug, what are you doing here?
我想见你 I had to see you.
我会让你进来 但现在很晚了 而且我恨你 Well, I'd invite you in, but it's late and I hate you.
宝贝 我老远飞过来 起码听我解释 Baby, I flew all this way. At least hear me out.
如果是想解决此事 If it's about the settlement,
你还是省省吧 you're wasting your breath.
我想你 I miss you.
蒂娜会怎么想 Well, how does Tina feel about that?
这只是一时失足 不会再发生了 That was a stupid mistake, and it's over.
我知道我弄砸了 I know I screwed up...
不可原谅 big this time.
再给我一次机会吧 Give me another chance.
很抱歉 道格 但我在这里很开心 I'm sorry, Doug, but I'm actually happy here.
一切重头开始 交到了新的朋友 I'm getting a fresh start, making new friends.
好了 在乡下不可能感觉到开心的 Come on. Can't be happy here in mayberry.
你是曼哈顿女孩 You were made for Manhattan.
另外 卡地亚说了 Oh, by the way. Cartier called.
它们也都想念你 They miss you, too.
道格 不要这么做 Oh, Doug, don't do this to me.
想想我们在一起的时光 Think about everything we had together.
我想回到过去 I want it back.
难道你不想吗 Don't you?
我忍不住老去想那话剧 Oh, I can't stop thinking about that play.
你觉得那个天使演得怎么样 What do you think the angel represented
他从夜幕中飞了下来 when he flew down in the middle of the night?
我不知道 我那时正忙着找线呢 I don't know. I was too busy looking for the wires.
是啊 还想吃些甜点吗 So, are you, uh, in the mood for some dessert?
非常想 Totally.
我觉得天使象征着希望 I think the angel symbolized hope
也许也代表着救赎 or a-a second chance at redemption, perhaps.
又或者是什么别的象征吧 'course, another interpretation, I suppose,
也许会是 could be--
噢 上帝啊 Oh, my.
当你说"甜点" 我还以为是 When you said "Dessert," I just assumed...
就是你理解的那样 Well, there's no two ways to interpret that.
真是太美妙了 Ohh! That was incredible.
你从哪学会这种方法的 我为什么要问呢 Where did you learn to do that, and why the hell am I asking?
别告诉我 Don't tell me. Mmm.
应该说是你激发了我 Oh, let's just say you inspire me.
这到教会了我 Well, that'll teach me
让你在我后面上楼 to let you walk behind me up the stairs.
那是什么 What is that?
灵感又来了 I guess inspiration struck again.
别告诉我你是来引诱我 Please tell me you're here to stab me.
什么 What?
没什么 进来 Nothing. Come on in.
那是什么 What's that?
生菜色拉 Crudites.
不是应该把它们去皮切片的吗 Aren't they supposed to be sliced and peeled?
我太累了 I'm too tired.
把那拿走 Please get that away from me.
昨晚肯定有人和金斯在一起缠绵了 I guess someone was with Keith last night.
一次 两次 还是三次 Were you once, twice, three times not a lady?
这一点也不可笑 我们连续六个小时都在做 It's not funny. Six hours we had sex.
我就像是荷兰隧道 I feel like the Holland Tunnel.
亲爱的 你为什么不告诉他 Honey, why don't you just tell him
-你需要休息 -因为他是年轻人 - you need a little break? - Because he's young.
如果我拒绝交欢 他会觉得我是个老女人 If I turn down a roll in the hay, he's gonna think I'm an old woman.
你用了交欢这个词 我想时机已过 岁月不饶人了 You just said "Roll in the hay." I think that ship has sailed.
我最好还是想想怎么能让他能够慢点 Ohh! Well, I better figure out how to slow him down
免得约翰韦恩[特别的走路姿势]就要怀孕了 before this John Wayne walk becomes permanent. Coming!
-进来吧 -女孩们 - Come on in. - Hey, girls.
你来得真及时 You are just in time.
为了庆祝你的离婚 我刚做好了一杯有意义的饮料 I mixed up a signature drink in honor of your divorce.
我不会喝的 I wouldn't pour that just yet.
我正在重新考虑这件事情 I'm starting to rethink this whole divorce thing.
道格昨晚来了 Doug showed up last night.
他从纽约飞来的 He flew in from New York?
我知道 他说他跟蒂娜分手了 I know. He said it's over with Tina.
希望我回去 He wants me back.
他给我了这个 And he gave me this.
道格做了很多坏事 Oh, Doug screws up a lot,
但是他的道歉就像美国国庆节那么让人心花怒放 but his apologies are always the 4th of July.
哇 汤姆的道歉更像是美国植树节令人乏味 Wow. Tom's apologies are more like Arbor Day.
但是他背叛了你 But he cheated on you.
好吧 一个男人在每个城市 Okay. A guy who has women throwing themselves at him
都有女人并随时抛弃 in every city.
而其间 我们有着十年快乐的时光 Meanwhile, we had ten great years,
他爱我 关心我 我想我应该 And he loved me and cared for me and I think I should
再给他一次机会 give him another chance.
我是不是疯了 Am I crazy?
你在婚姻生活里投入了十年 Well, you have invested ten years in the marriage.
肯定会有磕磕碰碰的 No one goes that long without a few bumps in the road.
那好 我原谅他了 Okay, then. I'm doing it.
你疯了吗 Are you insane?
这男人为了别的女人抛弃了你 The man dumped you for another woman.
他道歉了 我难道不能原谅他吗 Well, he apologized. Can't I forgive him?
为什么 就因为他给了你一枚蠢戒指吗 Why? Because he gave you a stupid ring?
他又一次收买了你 醒醒吧 He's buying you off again. Open your eyes.
嗨 不管怎么样这是我的婚姻 Hey. It's my marriage anyway.
你只管看好你的假鼻子就得了 Why don't you just keep your fake nose out of it?
她什么意思 假鼻子 What does she mean, fake?
加布丽尔·索利斯 你整鼻子了吗 Gabrielle Solis, did you have a nose job?
我们可是正在谈这个贱巫婆（求校） Hello! We're talking about Trampy Mctrinket!
这么多年以来 After all these years of you
你一直在吹嘘你的自然美 bragging about your natural beauty?
我从没吹嘘 Oh, I never brag.
有一次你称你的脸为上帝之作 You once called your face proo God's existence.
因为我穿过一件塑胸泳衣 你就称我为骗子 You said I was a fraud for wearing a padded swimsuit.
现在我们发现你整形了 And now we find out you've had plastic surgery.
一切都变了 Ooh! That changes everything.
没变 这可不是整形手术 No, it doesn't. It wasn't plastic surgery.
这只是娇正鼻形手术 It was corrective rhinoplasty for a deviated...
你会为此而后悔的 You will regret this.
得了 加布 我们在开玩笑呢 Oh, Gaby, come on! We're kidding!
别把你的鼻子气歪了 Don't get your nose out of joint.
布里·范德坎普有了麻烦 Bree Van de Kamp had a problem.
她男友的性欲看来是把她折腾得精疲力尽 Her boyfriend's sexual appetite was proving to be exhausting.
突然 布里想出了个法子 And then out of the blue, Bree came up with a solution.
既然金斯的需求她承受不起 Since Keith's demands were overwhelming her,
何不自己也弄些他受不起的需求 why not make some overwhelming demands of her own?
哇哦 这么多活要干啊 Wow. There's a lot of work here.
估计我得干到周五才能搞定 I guess I could get it done by friday.
不行 我在那之前就得要 Oh, no, I'm gonna need it sooner than that.
必须今晚完工 Certainly by tonight.
艾丽森做了你最爱吃的饼干 Hey, Allison made you
给你带着路上吃 your favorite cookies for your trip.
蛋白杏仁饼干吗 Macaroons?!
提子燕麦饼干 Oatmeal raisin.
这是我老爸的最爱 Oh. Those were my dad's favorites.
或许你可以跟飞机上坐你旁边的人换着吃 Maybe you can trade them with the boy next to you on the plane for his snack.
你又说笑了 不过你得承认 Make fun, but you have to admit,
她带孩子真有一套 she's been great with the baby.
她一直很棒 你说得对 是我错了 She has been great. You were right. I was wrong.
要是这是蛋白杏仁饼干的话 Oh, if only these were macaroons.
今天将是我人生中最美好的一天 this would be the best day of my life.
飞机着陆后打电话给我 Call me when you land.
再见 宝贝 See you, babe.
要我帮忙做千层面吗 Ah. So can I help with the lasagna?
事实上 我的宝贝孙子们想吃烘肉卷 Actually, the boys said they wanted meatloaf,
于是我就改了下菜单 坐吧 so I switched the menu. Now sit.
好啊 All right.
汤姆跟我说你要回去工作 So Tom was telling me about you going back to work.
我得说 我真搞不懂你 I must say, I don't understand that.
那个 Well, that's...
还好啦 Okay.
你干嘛呢 What are you doing?
我牛奶喝完了 I'm out of milk.
你奶奶不是来这儿伺候你的 Well, your grandmother is not here to serve you.
亲爱的 我不介意的 I don't mind, dear.
看见没 她愿意 See? She wants to.
-苏打水呢 奶奶 -我也要 - Soda, gram? - Make it two.
臭小子们 Boys!
佩妮 我得去弄肉 你去拿苏打水 Penny, I have to get the meat, so you get the sodas.
凭什么 Uh... why?
凭什么 我们得照顾这些男子汉啊 Why? We have to take care of our men.
佩妮 坐下 Penny, sit.
你们想喝水就自己起来去倒 You boys want a drink, get up and get it.
他们今天已经够辛苦的了 They had such a long day,
上了一堆课 还要参加课外活动 classes and then their after-school sports.
艾莉森 在我们家 女人不服侍男人 Allison, in this house, the women don't wait on the men.
男人得自己动手照顾自己 The men get off their asses and help themselves.
什么时候开始 照顾家人也有错了 When did it become a sin to take care of your family?
你这现代妇女 你刚生完孩子 Oh, you modern women. You just plop out a baby,
就等不及要回去干你那份愚蠢的工作了吗 and then you can't wait to get back to your silly careers.
我照顾我家的男人们 I took care of my boys.
当我丈夫回家后 When my husband came home,
桌上总会有热腾腾的饭菜等着他 there was a hot meal waiting for him on the table.
他从来不缺什么 He never wanted for anything.
是啊 那结果如何呢 Yeah, and how did that work out for you?
他有了外遇 然后离开了你 He had an affair and left.
该死 Damn it.
我都没意识到你还在这儿 I didn't realize you were still here.
你一直在干活吗 Have you been working this whole time?
你说要今天搞定 You said to get it all done today.
要是没什么别的事的话 So if there is nothing else,
我想回家好好大睡一场 I would like to go home and slip into a coma.
为何不在这儿过夜呢 Why don't you spend the night here?
我真不忍心看你这么疲惫得 I'd hate to see you out there driving
驱车回家 when you're so exhausted.
你已经精疲力尽了 对吧 You are exhausted, right?
累死了 Totally.
我身上每个地方都酸疼得要命 Every part of my body hurts.
那就留下来吧 Then stay.
就睡这儿 Sleep here.
明早 我会给你做 In the morning, I will make you...
比利时华夫饼 Belgian waffles.
作为我对你辛勤工作的 That will be my special thank you
特别感谢 for all of your hard work.
你干嘛呢 What are you doing?
我想到你可以用另一种方式感谢我 I thought of another way you could thank me.
你不是说你身上每个地方都疼得要命吗 You said every part of your body was sore.
只要一个地方不疼就行了 One part's doing okay.
够了 Okay!
-够了 -怎么了 - That's it! - What's wrong?
我做不到 我再也受不了 I can't do it! I can no longer keep up
你和你的疯狂的性冲动了 with you and your woody woodpecker sex drive!
-什么 -我就是要说出来 怎么样 - What? - I-I'm just gonna say it, okay?
我比你老 I'm older than you.
我没你那样的精力 我受不了 I don't have your stamina, and I can't keep up.
你 你受不了 You-- you can't keep up?
我在跟一个和餐馆侍者用法语交谈的 I'm dating a woman who talks to waiters in french
并且在中场休息时想要探讨 and wants to discuss a play's
戏剧的象征主义的女人约会 symbolism during halftime.
那叫剧间休息 Intermission.
你看 你比我聪明十倍 You see? You're ten times smarter than me.
所以我才一直跟你做爱 That's why I keep sexing you up.
我在努力使你对我有兴趣 I'm trying to keep you interested.
毫无疑问 我的确很感兴趣 Make no mistake. I am interested.
我喜欢当我信口胡诌天使的意义的时候 I love when I am prattling on about the meaning of the angel,
你却在那看电线的样子 you notice the wires.
你有属于你自己的看世界的方式 You have your own way of seeing the world,
这很有意思 也很实在 and it's fun and down-to-earth
这和我的一切都截然不同 And everything I'm not.
这么说 你喜欢我本来的样子 So you're saying you like me how I am?
这我还真没想到 Wow. I hadn't thought of that.
没错 Yes.
非常喜欢 Very much.
现在把那东西收起来 Now put that thing away
我们好好休息一下吧 and let's get some rest.
你好 你是哪位 Hi. Who are you?
我是甄妮 我是新来的保姆 Oh, I'm Jenny. I'm the new nanny.
不错吧 Ah! Isn't it great?
我给她多出了点钱 她接受了这份活 I offered her a little more money, and she took the job.
她就是那个胸大的 记得不 She's the one with the boobs. Remember?
当然 Yeah.
不用谢 You're welcome.
勒奈特 咱俩能上楼说几句话吗 Lynette, can I--can I talk to you upstairs for a minute?
好的 Okay.
我马上就上去 I'll be right up.
好吧 Oh. Okay.
所以 So...
这主意不错吧 Great news about Jen, huh?
当然 Yeah.
我刚炒了她 I just fired her.
什么 你没有权利那么做 What? You had no right to do that.
你也没有权利 And you had no right
让我妈妈觉得自己在这个家里不受欢迎 to make my mother feel unwelcomed in my house.
她只不过想成为家里的一份子 She just wanted to be a part of this family.
汤姆 我爱你的妈妈 Tom, I love your mother,
如果现在是1955年的话 and if this were 1955,
我估计也像她那样教育子女 I would be so on board with her parenting techniques,
但我不会让她抚养我们的孩子 But I will not let her raise our children
免得以后变成 to turn out like...
你把话说完 变成我这样 Whoa, whoa. Finish that sentence. T-turn out like me?
不 不 我没那么说 No. No, I didn't say that! I--
不过 我实话实说吧 But we--let's be honest.
我们第一次相遇的时候 When we first met,
你当时觉得这世上只有两种女人 you thought there were only two roles for women--
做蛋糕和不做蛋糕的 making a cake or jumping out of one.
对不起 我就是不想让她在这儿 I'm sorry. I just don't want her here.
我们结婚到现在 For our entire marriage,
一直都是你说了算 You have been the one to make the decisions.
我要回去工作 我要请保姆 "I'm going back to work." "I'm hiring a nanny."
这次我说了算 她得留下来 This time, I am making the decision. She stays.
好了 孩子们 把文具收起来放回去 Okay, boys and girls, gather up your supplies and put them away.
我们明天见 See you tomorrow.
玛克西恩 我现在不方便说话 Maxine, I can't talk now.
我在上班 I'm at work.
听着 我知道我炒了你 Look, I know I fired you,
不过如果你愿意的话 But if you like,
我愿意再给你一次机会 I'm willing to offer you, uh, another chance.
为什么 Why?
这家伙一直打电话来 Well, this guy keeps calling.
他真的很想和你单独视频 He really wants a private session with you,
而且他真的开始付钱了 and he's starting to offer some serious money.
快决定吧 你要来吗 Come on. What do you say?
给多少钱 How serious are we talking?
非常感谢你来捧场 Thank you so much for coming.
我无法形容这对我有多重要 I cannot tell you what it means to me.
你会唱什么有关 Yeah, yeah. Are you gonna be singing any songs
背后伤人的贱货之类的歌吗 about a woman who's a backstabbing bitch?
我们真的非常期待你的表演 艾玛 We are really looking forward to it, Emma.
-祝你好运 -谢谢 - Good luck. - Thanks.
你就不能别再想这事了吗 Would you get over it already?
-我们何不过去和朋友们坐一起 -不 - Why don't we go sit down with our friends? - No!
我烦透了勒奈特说的那些 I'm sick of Lynette making those
《大鼻子情圣》的笑话 Cyrano De Bergerac jokes,
不知道是哪个女人 whoever she was.
是男的 宝贝 她们只是取笑你而已 He. And, baby, they are just teasing you.
这不好笑 我的资本就是我天生的美貌 Well, it's not funny. My thing was my natural beauty.
就像苏珊是艺术家 勒奈特是职场强人 Like Susan's an artist. Lynette's a great businesswoman.
布里是完美的家庭主妇 Bree's the perfect homemaker.
而我 沉鱼落雁 I was the beautiful one.
可现在 我是整过容的那个 Now I'm just the plastic one.
都得怪这个女人 And there's the woman who's to blame.
我真想把她脸上的笑容一拳打掉 Man, I'd love to smack that smile right off her face--
这脸拉皮拉得这么严重 Which, by the way, has been pulled so tight,
说不定还把我拳头弹回来了 it would probably smack me back.
我都忘了你环抱着我走进房间的感觉了 I forgot what it was like walking into a room on your arm.
我喜欢 I like it.
宝贝 我想那些人注意的是你 Baby, I think you are the one they were staring at.
这东西总不会错 Ah. Well, this doesn't hurt.
加布 Hey, Gaby.
我没闻到你也会来 I didn't nose you'd be here.
我不知道你们听说了什么 都是些胡说八道 Okay, I don't know what you heard, but it's all crap.
别撒谎哦 Don't lie.
撒谎鼻子会长长的 That'll make it grow again.
告诉道格·派瑞这是免费的 Tell Doug Perry it's on the house.
我来 I'll do it.
这是酒吧送的 It's on the house.
顺便告诉你 她跟你的律师睡过了 Oh, by the way, she slept with your lawyer.
尽情享受吧 Enjoy the show.
是真的吗 Is that true?
这个 Well...
这事是这么回事 The thing about that is...
女士们先生们 Ladies and gentlemen,
烟雨酒吧很荣幸地向大家介绍 The Smokehouse Lounge is proud to present
艾玛·格雷厄姆 Emma Graham.
艾玛 Whoo, Emma!
聊两句 A word. Aah!
把你的脏手从我的范思哲[名牌]上挪开 Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Get the claws off the Versace!
你跟他说那个干什么 Why the hell would you tell him that?
你也知道我这个人 "嗅"觉灵敏 Well, you know me and my big nose...
这可是我的婚姻 This is my marriage we're talking about!
这跟你的破鼻子比起来重要多了 This trumps your stupid nose!
那又怎样 反正都是假的 Whatever. They're both fake!
你知道什么 Oh, what do you know?
-不过是一个无聊的家庭主妇罢了 -闭嘴 - You're nothing but a boring housewife... -Shut up!
生活得可怜巴巴 只好来给我惹事 Whose life is so pathetic, you gotta crap all over mine!
我可怜 你觉得一个女的 I'm pathetic?! Hey, what do you call
为了八百万跟人睡觉 该叫她什么好呢 a girl who sleeps with a guy for $8 million?!
滚开 Get off! Uhh! Aah!
我要杀了你 I'm gonna kill you!
你这婊子 滚开 You whore! Uhh! Get off me!
好了 女士们 拜托 Okay, ladies, please.
这事我永远不会原谅你 I will never forgive you for this!
你会的 给你买个蓝宝石戒指就行了 Sure you will. I'll just buy you a sapphire ring.
你喜欢我的戒指是吗 Oh, you like my ring?
那就尝尝它的滋味吧 Well, get ready to smell it!
天啊 我的鼻子 Oh, my god, my nose!
我的鼻子 我的鼻子 My nose! My nose!
没想过你会再找我 Didn't think I'd hear from you again.
我想了一下发生过的这些事 Look, I've been thinking about everything that's happened.
你跟别人睡了 我也跟别人睡了 You slept with someone. I slept with someone.
也许我们扯平了 Maybe we should just call it even.
真的 Really?
是啊 Yeah.
这正是我们俩所希望的 不是吗 I mean, that's what we both want, right?
谢谢你 亲爱的 Thank you, dear.
我很抱歉说了关于你丈夫的那番话 I am so sorry for saying those things about your husband.
不要紧的 I appreciate that.
我也很抱歉 我似乎是有点越界了 And I'm sorry if I... crossed some sort of line.
感觉自己有点用 这感觉太好了 It just felt so nice to feel useful again.
你当然有用了 我也很需要你在这儿 You are useful, and I really need you here,
尤其是等我开始工作以后 especially when I go back to work.
你知道吗 You know,
厨房是我在家里最爱的房间 the kitchen is my favorite room in the house.
一家人坐在一起 The family sits together here.
你可以给他们做饭 看他们开开心心地吃 You get to cook for them and make them happy.
我就是不太明白 And I just don't understand
你为什么愿意放弃这些所有 出去工作 why you would ever want to give all that up to go out there.
我就是这样的人 It's just who I am.
妈妈 小孩在哭 Mom? The baby's crying.
她可能是饿了 Oh. Well, she's probably hungry.
真香 Ooh. Yummy.
很抱歉 你的名字叫什么来着 I'm so sorry. What's your name again?
我叫佩妮 I'm penny.
你住在这儿吗 And do you live here?
我不是很习惯跟人道歉 I'm not really used to apologizing...
不过这是巧克力 But here are some chocolates.
我从85年开始就没碰过碳水化合物了 I haven't touched a carb since 1985,
不过谢谢 but thank you.
不管你信不信 Believe it or not,
我也正打算过来向你道歉 I was actually on my way over to apologize to you.
我也不知道自己怎么想的 I don't know what came over me.
我还是觉得你能找到比他更好的 Look, I still feel you deserve better than that guy.
但我没权力搞砸你的婚姻 这是你的生活 But I had no right to screw with your marriage. It's your life.
道格今早打来电话了 Doug called this morning.
他说还是想跟我复合 He said he still wants me back...
我拒绝了 And I said no.
不是吧 Seriously?
他说我们可以当做什么都没发生过 He said we could pretend it never happened,
我想了一下这所有一切 And I thought of all the things
这么多年来一直视而不见的一切 I pretended never happened over the years.
你说得对 加布 我得清醒过来 You were right, Gaby. I needed to open my eyes.
好吧 在我居功之前 Okay, well, before I take credit for this,
你确定这是你想要的吗 Are you sure this is what you want?
是 Yes.
谢谢你 在这些女人当中 And thank you. Out of all the women,
你是唯一一个有胆量告诉我真相的 you were the only one who had the guts to tell me the truth.
你是真正的朋友 You're a real friend,
只要你给我那蓝宝石戒指 我就原谅你 And I'll take that over a sapphire ring any day.
-你会留着这戒指的吧 -那还用说 - You're keeping the ring, right? - Oh, hell, yeah.
你好 Hello?
有人在吗 Is anyone there?
你也害羞吗 Are you shy, too?
没关系的 我也是 Well, that's okay. So am I.
要不我们就先 Why don't you start with just, uh,
从你的名字开始 telling me your name?
我想你知道我的名字 I think you know my name.
我还在呢 苏珊 I'm still here, Susan.
我很高兴你披上了浴巾 I'm glad you put your robe on.
我不想看你羞辱自己 I hate to see you debasing yourself.
你想怎么样 What do you want?
我喜欢你的房子 I'd like your house,
我想花大价钱买下来 and I'm willing to pay a very fair price for it.
麦克跟我说过了 Yeah, Mike told me about that.
那房子不卖 It's not for sale.
苏珊 在我看来很多东西都是可以买到的 Susan, it seems to me a lot of things are for sale--
你的身体 你的荣誉 your body, your honor,
你的名声 your reputation.
房子跟这些比起来简直不值一提 The house would seem to be the smallest of those things.
你在威胁我 Are you threatening me?
我只是说如果有人知道了我所知道的 I'm simply saying it would be terribly unfortunate
那可就太不幸了 if anyone were to find out what I already know.
我都震惊了 I mean... I was shocked.
很难想象 I can only imagine
你丈夫和儿子会怎么想 what your husband and son would think.
你这个贱人 You son of a bitch.
你一时间难以接受 我知道 It's a lot to take in, I know.
那就花几天时间好好想一想吧 Why don't you take a couple of days to think about it?
我不希望你认为我是在 逼迫你 I'd hate for you to feel that I was... pressuring you.
他知道自己所做的事是错的 He knew what he was doing was wrong.
他知道这很危险 He knew it was very dangerous.
他知道如果有人发现会有什么风险 He knew the risks if people found out.
但保罗·杨想要惩罚那些背叛了他的人 But Paul Young wanted to punish those who had betrayed him.
所以他有个计划 要让邻里反目 So he had a plan that would set neighbor against neighbor
朋友成仇 and friend against friend.
而这个计划势在必得 And it was a plan that was going to succeed.