前情提要 Previously on...
我叫布里 是个酒鬼 My name is Bree, and I am an alcoholic.
布里走出了困境 Bree put her problem behind her.
至少有个人愿意雇我 谁 There's at least one employer who'd love to hire me. Who?
奥森想要找个工作 你 Orson asked for a job. You.
大卫大发雷霆 伊迪 你他妈的 我说了 不行 Dave lost his temper... Damn it, Edie! I said no!
引起了 这家伙 一定有所企图 And aroused the suspicion... This guy is up to something.
邻居的怀疑 都是凯伦·麦克卢斯基的错 Of his neighbor. It was all Karen McCluskey's fault.
她不停地问我你的背景 She kept asking me all this stuff about your background.
她让我想到了祖母 She reminds me of my grandmother when we first started to notice.
老年痴呆症 你认为凯伦心智衰老 The dementia, that is. You think Karen's going senile?
本是个美妙的夜晚 It could have been such a lovely evening.
本打算办个充满惊喜的生日派对 You see, the idea was to have a surprise birthday party.
客人们带着食物和礼物 People would bring food and gifts
关上灯 等着主角入场 and wait in the dark for the guest of honor to arrive.
但它却成了 一个大家并不喜欢的 But it turned out to be a night full of surprises...
意外连连的夜晚 The kind most people don't care for.
勒奈特 你为何一定要让人扫兴 Damn it, Lynette. Why do you have to be such a buzz kill?
你就不能给我点支持吗 哪怕就一次 Why can't you, just once, give me a little support?
好吧 我去给你拿条毛巾 Fine. I'll get you a towel.
要毛巾干嘛 For what?
如果我跟别的女人好上了 你就不会担心吗 If I was with another woman, that wouldn't bother you?
不会 No, it wouldn't.
对不起 我撒了谎 不管怎么说 Mm. I'm sorry that I lied, and for what it's worth,
我一直内疚地要死 the guilt has been tearing me apart.
把手拿开 你这个自私的王八蛋 Get your hands off me, you selfish son of a bitch!
奥森 拜托别让我难做人 Orson, please. You're putting me in an impossible position.
那让我来为你做决定 Then let me make it simpler for you.
我们离婚 I want a divorce.
是的 本应是个美妙的夜晚 Oh, yes, it could have been such a lovely evening,
但这个派对 还没来得及开始 but this was one party that was over...
就结束了 Before it even began.
惊喜 Surprise!
你别和我耍花招 You think you can screw with me? Uhh!
去派对之前 Moments before she was to leave for the party,
加布丽尔·索利斯在镜子前 Gabrielle Solis was at her mirror,
心不在焉地涂着口红 halfheartedly putting the final touches on her lips.
她遇到了一个 You see, a problem had come to her attention...
该死 Damn.
不可回避的难题 One she couldn't gloss over.
妈妈 你在做什么 Mommy, what are you doing?
妈妈每月都会有个朋友来访 Uh, well, mommy has a friend who visits her every month,
现在还没来 这很糟 and she's late, and that's bad.
为什么 因为她的到来 Why? Because she's the one who assures me
可以确保你不会再有个小弟弟或者妹妹 但是我想有个小弟弟 that you won't get a baby brother or sister. But I want a little brother.
我不在乎 I don't care.
对不起 Oh, sorry.
只是 妈妈真的很想念这个朋友 It's just... Mommy really misses her friend,
如果她不及时出现 and mommy's gonna be really sad
妈妈真的会很伤心 if her friend doesn't show up soon.
去楼下玩 我要做做祈祷 Now go downstairs and play. Mommy has some praying to do.
你的结果出来了 Well, I have your test results.
恭喜 你怀孕了 Congratulations. You're pregnant.
索利斯夫人 Aah! Mrs. Solis.
我不想要 你说这不会发生 I don't care. You told me this couldn't happen.
你说了这不可能 人的生殖系统很复杂 You said it was impossible! The human reproductive system is complicated
常常无法预料 and often unpredictable.
有时就会发生奇迹 Sometimes miracles happen.
这不是奇迹 这是灾难 This isn't a miracle. This is a disaster.
我老公眼睛瞎了 我们都没工作 My husband's blind. Neither one of us have jobs.
我老公是瞎子 My husband's blind.
相信我 有子是福 Trust me. Children are a blessing.
你会看到 会是这样的 You'll see. It'll all work out.
希望你是对的 Well, I hope to god you're right.
这串数字什么意思 And what does this number mean anyway?
这是你的贝塔值 还挺高 表示你很有可能怀上双胞胎 That's your beta number, and it's high, which indicates the possibility of twins. Ow!
加布 放松 这孩子是 Gaby, relax. This baby is gonna be the best thing
我们生命中最好的礼物 我讨厌看到别人无关痛痒的样子 that ever happened to us. I am so sick of everybody looking at the glass half-full.
这事关重要 而且我们银行没存款了 The glass is empty, people, and so is our bank account.
这就是你担心的吗 钱 Is that what you're worried about... money?
听着 我会找个工作 Look, I'll get a job.
你能做什么 What are you gonna do,
拿着钢琴 跟汽车城签个合同 take up piano and get a contract with motown?
实际上 我在想做个按摩师 Actually, I was thinking about becoming a masseur.
不需要看 只用手就行 You don't need your eyes for that. It's all about the touch.
那主意不是很糟 Well, I guess that's not the worst idea you've ever had.
但这不仅仅是钱的问题 卡洛斯 But it's not just about the money, Carlos.
这是 It's...
流产之后 我就不再想怀孕的事了 Oh, after my miscarriage, I gave up on this dream.
我只是想 上帝 I just figured god decided
知道我不可能是一个好妈妈 I couldn't possibly be a good mom,
所以他不让我有孩子 so he didn't make it happen.
这很明显 他改主意了 Well, he obviously changed his mind.
我倒希望他没有 Well, I wish he'd stop doing that.
没人喜欢善变的上帝 Nobody likes a fickle god.
宝贝 相信我 Babe, believe me.
你能怀孕只有万分之一的机率 You getting pregnant is... is... Is a one-in-a-million shot.
这真是个奇迹 It's a miracle.
我们应该庆幸才对 Now let's embrace it and celebrate.
索利斯夫人 你好 Hello, Mrs. Solis.
你的结果出来了 I have your test results.
我是不是贫血 Great. So do I have anemia?
这是我感到疲倦的原因吗 Is that why I've been so tired?
不 不是 No. Not exactly.
请不要掴我 And please don't slap me.
我怀孕了 天哪 又一个奇迹发生了 I'm pregnant! Oh, my god. It's another miracle.
是啊 我们有两个奇迹 Yeah, we're up to two miracles,
如果我杀了你以后 你再活过来 and if you come back from the dead after I kill you,
那就是第3个奇迹 你为什么生我的气 it'll be three. W-Why you mad at me?
"加布 我为什么要戴套呢 "Oh, Gaby, why do I need to wear a condom?
不可能再第二次怀孕了" There's no way lightning's gonna strike twice."
我确实没想到会有第二次 Well, I didn't think it would.
卡洛斯 把孩子放下 Put the baby down, Carlos.
我不想 I don't want to.
放下 我现在想打人 这人就是你 Do it. I need to hit something, and it needs to be you.
你全看错了 You are looking at this all wrong.
这是万分之一的机率 This is one-in-a-million.
我们应该 应该庆幸才对 We should... we should celebrate and embrace...
闭嘴 你这个死胖子 Oh, cram it, you fertile freak.
去做结扎手术 You're getting a vasectomy.
我不能那么做 I can't do that.
我们是天主教徒 这有悖信仰 We're catholic. It's against our religion.
有消息告诉你 我们刚刚变成犹太教徒了 I got news for you. We just converted to judaism.
问题解决了 恭喜(犹太语) Problem solved. Mazel tov!
加布 不仅是这个原因 还有别的 Gaby, it's not just that. There are other reasons...
我受够了你的精子 I am done fighting off your bionic sperm.
去做手术 最后命令 You're getting snipped, and that's final.
你今晚怎么那么安静 You're awfully quiet tonight.
在想事情 Got a lot on my mind.
我觉得我怀孕了 I think I'm pregnant.
什么 What?
我知道 你已经做了结扎手术 这应该不可能 I know. It's crazy. You had a vasectomy. It's impossible.
恩 那你怎么会觉得怀孕了 Yeah. So what makes you think you're pregnant?
我月经没来 以前从没这样过 My period's late, and that never happens to me.
每次就像瑞士钟表一样准 没事的 I'm like a Swiss clock. Oh, come on.
很多因素都能导致月经晚来 There could be a lot of reasons for that.
现在先别担心这个 So let's not worry about it right now.
我们还要参加聚会 你得高兴点儿 We're going to a party. You gotta lighten up.
好吧 但我得和鲍勃谈谈 鲍勃 为什么 Okay. But I'm gonna talk to Bob. Bob? Why?
因为他和李也参加聚会 而且鲍勃是个律师 Because he and Lee are here. Bob's an attorney.
我找他帮我告那个庸医 I'm gonna get him to sue the quack
他明显没给你做好结扎 who obviously botched your vasectomy.
加布 别去了 请律师很贵的 Oh, Gaby, let's not go there. Hiring an attorney's expensive,
况且我们也没什么证据 and I don't know that we can prove anything.
别担心 我会弄清楚的 Well, I'm gonna find out.
好吧 但是 Fine. But...
我们别和鲍勃谈了 Let's not talk to Bob.
我不想我们的邻居搅进我们的事里 I don't want our neighbors involved in our business.
别担心 他很专业的 Oh, don't worry. He's a professional.
他会保密的 He'll keep it confidential.
加布 不 你不能和他谈 Gaby, no. You can't talk to him.
为什么不能 我从来没做过结扎 Why the hell not? I never got a vasectomy.
你们好 欢迎参加聚会 Hi, guys. Welcome to the party.
那晚早些时候 Earlier that evening,
客人来之前 as she waited for her guests to arrive,
苏珊花了些时间修理了下眉毛 Susan Mayer took a moment to do her eyebrows.
当然 她不可能知道 Of course, she had no way of knowing
接下来的事 just how high those eyebrows...
抱歉我来晚了 会让她多么吃惊 Sorry I'm late. Would soon be raised.
怎么这么久 客人随时会来 What took you so long? People are gonna be here any minute.
你得帮我把便宜的伏特加 I need you to pour the cheap vodka
倒进值钱的酒杯里 我找不到我的裤子了 into the expensive bottles. I couldn't find my pants.
我在这里呆了太久 以至于我回到自己家 I'm here so much that when I go back to my place,
把东西放哪里都忘了 I can't remember where anything is.
好吧 赶快把衬衫换了 Well, just please change your shirt.
知道吗 我一直在想 You know, I've been thinking
既然我和你在一起这么久了 没错 that I spend so much time with you now anyway that... fine.
你可以往我的衣橱里放几件你的衣服 You can have a little space in the closet.
刚好有一些80年代的衣服 我打算把它们处理掉 其实我是说我要搬进来 I think I've got some clothes from the '80s I'm ready to part with. Actually, I'm talking about moving in.
搬进来 这里 Moving in? Here?
对 我们得往这方面发展 Yeah. That's where we're headed.
我们得尝试下 你觉得呢 We should take the plunge. What do you think?
很明显 这是卧室 So obviously, this is the bedroom.
对 你想一直用这个颜色 Right. So do you want to stick with this color
还是想重新换些别的 or switch it up or what?
我不知道 I don't know. Um...
其实我正在经历 I'm sort of going through
我生命中一个困难的转型期 a difficult transition in my life right now.
我需要改变 I need a change.
我在想 Uh, I was thinking...
灰褐色 Taupe.
听起来不错 Sounds good.
你知道 我喜欢这里 You know, I like this place.
气氛很好 It's got a good vibe.
谢谢 Uh, thanks.
气味不错 是什么 你的香水么 And a nice scent. What is that, your perfume?
出去 Get out.
你说什么 Excuse me?
我不是个小孩 你是冲着我来的 I was not born yesterday, pal. You're coming on to me.
不是 No, I'm not.
拜托 告诉我 我闻起来很好 Oh, please. Telling me I smell good?
我甚至连除臭剂都没涂 I'm not even wearing deodorant.
我是说屋子闻起来很好 I said the house smells good.
文字游戏 Semantics.
然后硬生生地坐在床上 And then the not so subtle sit-on-the-bed maneuver?
你干脆让我给你按摩好了 You know, why not just ask for a massage?
我坐着 是因为我陪你转得脚疼 I sat because my feet hurt from you dragging me around
转了1个小时 不停的告诉我你要把房漆成灰色 for an hour, telling me you want to paint every room taupe.
你说你喜欢 You said you liked it.
听着 很明显你现在心情很不好 Look, you're obviously going through a rough patch.
我担心 I was afraid
如果我说错了什么 if I suggested anything outside the beige family,
你会自寻短见 I might send you over the edge.
我会自己走的 I'll let myself out.
不 别走 No. No, don't go.
谢谢你考虑我的感受 That was very sweet of you to consider my feelings.
告诉你 我雇你了 You know what? You're hired.
谢谢 Uh, thanks...
我想 I think.
你们还需要再看一遍么 So do you need to look these over one more time?
那好 在上面签名 Okay, then just sign them,
你们就正式离婚了 and you'll be officially divorced.
请问能否稍缓 You know what? We need a minute.
不着急 Take your time.
我们这么做 对吗 Are we doing the right thing here?
你没开玩笑吧 You're kidding me, right?
我们一旦签字 就无法回头了 Once we sign these papers, there's no going back.
我真搞不明白 I can't believe this.
是你叫的律师 You were the one who called the lawyer.
我知道 I know.
我在想 I'm thinking...
或许那是个错误 That maybe that was a mistake.
我们已经分手一年了 We've been separated for a year.
今天算是正式分手 All we're doing today is making it official.
如果不是那次意外 我们不会到这一步 We wouldn't be here if it weren't for that accident.
你知道的 那之前 我们很好 You know that. Before that, we were good.
我们能合好的 We could get back there.
苏珊 Susan...
谁都没错 但我无法继续下去了 It's nobody's fault, but I can't do this anymore.
别这样 Oh, come on!
我们是那对迈克和苏珊呀 记得么 We were Mike and Susan, remember?
这一辈子只有一次 You only get one of those in a lifetime.
我们能处理好的 We could make things right again.
是啊 Yeah.
这样处理 And here's how.
你回来了 Hey. You're back.
你觉得怎么样 So what do you think?
看起来不错 Uh... it... it looks good.
恩 我觉得你选这个颜色很对 Yeah, I-I-I think you were right to stick with this color.
看起来很不错 It looks fantastic.
谢谢 Thanks.
来点酒么 Do you like scotch?
好吧 Okay...
有些事我应该坦白点 I need to be honest about something.
坦白 好吧 H-Honest? Okay.
我不经常做这种事 I don't usually do this kind of thing,
很突然地 在一起 hook up like this, out of the blue.
不是说这样不好 只是 Not that it wasn't great, 'cause it was,
我未曾准备真正开始交往 but I'm not really looking to start anything.
工作很乱 Work is crazy,
我还养了条狗 and I just got a dog, and...
我觉得我现在不太适合 I'm just not in that place right now.
你的意思是 So just to be clear,
你不需要一段真正的感情 you're saying you don't want a relationship?
抱歉 我可能应该之前说清楚 Sorry. I probably should have said that right up front.
没事 No, uh...
很好 It's fantastic.
真的 Really?
我也不想太认真了 I don't want a relationship either.
有我们刚才做的就够了 All I want from you is exactly what we just did.
不过下一次 叫我苏珊 Except next time, it's Susan.
好的 Yeah.
"梅尔太太"对这个场合显然太正式了 "Mrs. Mayer" was probably a little formal for the moment.
还会有下一次 So there's gonna be a next time?
除非你不想 Unless you're not interested.
开什么玩笑 Are you kidding?
我快活似神仙 I'm this close to doing a victory lap around the bed.
所以你不介意我们这样 So you're really fine with this,
纯肉体的关系 just a purely physical thing?
我试过浪漫的方式 I gave romance a shot and...
我现在想过得轻松些 I'm ready for something a little more casual.
我听说过你这样女人 但 Wow. I've heard of women like you, but...
我以为只是出现在都市小说里 I thought you were an urban myth, hmm.
你听见我说什么了吗 Did you hear what I said?
是的 Uh, yeah.
你想住进来 You want to move in.
这是因为 当你不在我身边时 I-It's just that when I'm not with you,
我就一直想着你 I'm waiting to be with you.
我从没有过这种感觉 I've never felt like this before.
所以 你觉得怎么样 So... what do you think?
你想和我一起住吗 Do you want to live together?
不 Uh... No.
就这样 一个"不"字 So that's it? Just no?
你都不给我个理由 You're not gonna give me a reason?
现在这样不是挺好吗 What's wrong with the way things are?
为什么要改变它 Why change everything now?
因为我爱上你了 Because... I've fallen in love with you.
大家好 欢迎参加宴会 Hi, guys. Welcome to the party.
勒奈特·斯加沃在宴会前的最后一件事 The last thing Lynette Scavo did before a party
就是检查有没有白发 was to check for gray hairs.
佩妮 Penny!
我们要出发了 快去洗澡 Let's go! Time for bath!
她怎么也想不到今晚过后 She had no way of knowing before this evening was over,
她的白头发会多许多 she would have a few more.
佩妮 Penny!
佩妮 Oh. Penny.
如果你想开车去兜风 If you're thinking of taking that for a spin,
这是不可能的 I've got bad news.
你才9岁 You're 9.
怎么了 宝贝 Hey, what's the matter, sweetie?
爸爸要死了吗 Is daddy dying?
什么 当然不会 What? Of course not.
你为什么这么说 Why would you say something like that?
我听见波特和普雷斯顿在争论 I heard Porter and Preston
谁能在爸爸死后得到他的车 fighting about who's gonna get daddy's car when he dies.
他们在发痴而已 Oh. They're just being silly.
他们总是发痴 They're always silly.
所以当他们搬出去住时我们不会难过 That's why we won't be sad when they move out of the house.
出来 Come on.
人总有一天会死的 是吗 But everybody dies someday, right?
但是爸爸会活到99 Yes, but daddy's gonna live to a ripe old age
除非他不能赶回来 unless he doesn't get home
庆祝麦克卢斯基奶奶的生日 in time for Mrs. McCluskey's party,
如果那样就不能长寿了 and then all bets are off.
爸爸会活得好好的 进去吧 Oh, daddy's gonna be fine. Come on.
你好 我丈夫他... 我是勒奈特·斯加沃 Hi. My husband... I'm Lynette Scavo.
巴伦医生打电话给我 我就是巴伦医生 Dr. Baron called me... I'm Dr. Baron.
你好 发生了什么 Oh. Hi. What happened?
你丈夫在饭店里 Your husband was working on an electrical panel
操作配电板时 at his restaurant... Uh-huh.
受到强烈的电击 And received a massive shock.
可以这么说 他的心脏停了 他现在 Essentially, his heart stopped pumping. Oh. Is he...
幸运的是 Fortunately,
正巧有位警察在饭店里用餐 there was a policeman eating in the restaurant.
他给他做了心肺复苏 还叫了救护车 He administered c.P.R. Until the ambulance got there.
他现在情况如何 So he's okay?
他的心脏重新跳动了 His heart restarted.
还需要留院观察是否有组织损伤 Now it's a matter of determining if there's any tissue damage.
情况乐观 但接下去36小时很关键 We're optimistic, but the next 36 hours are critical.
奥布莱恩神父，请向 Father o'brien, please report to the...
我在想 Hey. Hey. So I'm thinking
你再也别做电工活了 好吗 no more electrical work, okay?
孩子们知道一切平安 Huh? The kids know everything's fine.
他们让我告诉你 他们爱你 They send their love.
别担心好吗 好好休息 Don't worry about anything, okay? Just rest.
我很快回来 I'll come back soon, okay?
你知道我当时在想什么吗 You know what I thought?
我倒在地上时 When I was lying there on the floor,
我想我就要死在这个披萨店里了 I thought, I'm gonna die in a pizza place.
我这一生就被 I mean, my whole life was gonna be summed up
一片讣告总结为 with this obituary headline...
"本地一披萨店主身亡" "local pizza shop owner dies."
别想了 你又没死 But it doesn't matter because you're not dying.
我需要更好的人生 得有更好的人生 I need more, Lynette. I need... Th-there's gotta be more.
好的 我们一起努力 Okay. Okay. We'll find more.
现在好好休息 好吗 Just rest now, okay?
靓妹 Hey, sexy.
放下草耙 上车来 Drop the rake and get in.
这是什么 What the hell is this?
这是我这辈子梦寐以求的车 This is the car that I have wanted my whole life.
我12岁时 When I was 12 years old,
就把这台宝贝的照片贴墙上了 I had a poster of this baby up on my wall.
我12岁时 墙上贴的是肖恩.凯塞蒂(影星) And when I was 12, I had a poster of Shaun Cassidy,
可你没看到过我开着它到处晃悠吧 but you don't see me driving around in him, do you?
我给你看样东西 I want to show you something.
怎么 你还能从车灯里变出机关枪来 What, do machine guns come out of the headlights?
我随身带着这个 让自己铭记 I carry this around to remind me
我差点见阎王的那天 of the day that I almost died.
那天你答应同我一起寻找更好的人生 That day you promised me that we would find more.
这辆车我要了 I'm keeping the car.
你需要搭车吗 So do you want a ride?
你去哪了 Ooh! Where have you been?
快来帮我 如果麦克卢斯基比我们早到 So help me, if McCluskey gets there before us,
我就煮了你 抱歉 我们走吧 I will brain you. Sorry. Let's go.
好吧 Well, sheesh. Oh.
亲爱的 我们已经给凯伦买了蜡烛 Sweetie, we already got Karen a candle.
一辆休闲车是不是太贵重了 An r.V. Might be overkill.
当然 这不是给她的 是给我们的 Yeah, but that's not for her. That's for us.
我要给你灌输新思想 Huh? I'm about to blow your mind, Lynette.
别 我觉得自己现在挺好的 Oh, don't. I like my mind the way it is.
你觉得这个主意如何 What would you say to the idea
我们每年带着孩子们 of taking the kids out of school for a year
坐在这些香车里 去周游各州 and bopping around the country in one of these sweet rides?
我不会发表意见 Well, I might not say anything.
我只会把手指伸进耳朵里 I might just put my finger to my ear
堵住耳朵洞 and twirl it in small circles.
我们不能这么玩 可以的 We can't do something like that, Tom. Yes, we can.
我们该尽情享受 人生苦短啊 We can do whatever we want. Life is short.
好吧 你先回答我一个小问题 Okay, let me ask you one tiny question
再考虑你的大冒险计划 about this big adventure plan of yours.
谁来打理我们的餐厅 Who's gonna be running our restaurant
谁打理我们的餐厅 while we're off doing the electric kool-aid acid test?
这不成问题 这几周 That won't be our problem. The last few weeks,
我一直和帕森蒂诺披萨店的一个人谈 I've been talking to a guy from passentino's pizza.
他们想买下我们的店 They want to buy us out.
今天下午我答应了 This afternoon, I said yes.
嗨 伙计们 Hey, guys.
是去参加晚会吗 You ready to party?
在她出发去晚会的前几分钟 Moments before she was due at her friend's party,
布里.霍吉在镜子前画眉毛 Bree Hodge was at the mirror, applying her eyeliner.
穿得好整齐 Aren't you dapper?
我准备告诉别人我是你的新搭档 When I tell everyone I'm your new partner,
要穿得衬这个身份 I want to look the part.
今晚 布里得第二次 其实 亲爱的 It would not be the last time that evening Bree would find herself... Um, actually, dear...
画清界限 Drawing a line.
我建议你今天不要提工作的事 I'd rather you not talk about the job tonight.
但是布里 这么久以来只有在这个宴会上 But, Bree, this is the first party in months
别人问我最近如何的时候 when I can answer the question, "what's new?"
我可以大方回答 而不用假装喝酒 在晚会上谈论工作很不礼貌 Without mumbling into my drink. Well, it's just vulgar to discuss business at a party.
你还没告诉凯瑟琳 对吗 Mm. You haven't told Katherine yet, have you?
不容易开口 It's not that easy.
她会很生气的 You know she'll be furious.
但是她有个优点 就是坦白 Yes, but the great thing about Katherine is she'll express it
她的气来得快去得快 so passive-aggressively, we'll hardly notice.
我知道她是你的朋友 但是也是下属 Look, I know she's your friend, but she's also our employee.
这有什么难说的 Why is this so difficult for you?
太...复杂了 It's... complicated.
好了 又干掉一瓶 Well... another dead soldier.
当心 亲爱的 明天会不舒服的 Careful, dear. You don't want to be ill tomorrow.
没什么东西能比头痛 Yes. Nothing like a headache
更能破坏在监狱的第一天了 to spoil a perfectly nice first day in prison.
谁还想来点菜肉馅煎蛋饼 Uh, would anybody like some more frittata?
我的妻子很棒吧 都多少个囚犯 Is my wife amazing or what? I mean, how many inmates
能在进去前有丰盛的早午饭和香槟欢送 get sent off with a festive champagne brunch?
在监狱里时 Uh, w-when you're in jail,
大家都不说 "欢乐"和"早午饭" you might want to avoid words like "festive" and "brunch."
他们会说 "你好 我在寻找丈夫" They kind of say, "hi. I'm husband hunting."
安德鲁 收敛点 Andrew, please.
没事 It's fine.
这是未来三年里我最后一次感觉自由 This is my last taste of freedom for three years.
我想听笑话 欢乐 笑声 I want jokes. I want fun, laughter.
总之 监狱也没什么不一样的 Anyway, prison won't be such a big change.
你是个牙医 以前总是敲洞 You're a dentist. You're used to cavity searches.
你答应我你不会说这个 You vowed to me that you wouldn't say that.
布里告诉我 Bree tells me
你会好好利用监狱里的时间 that you're going to make very good use of your time away. Mm.
对 他会看很多经典名著 Uh, yes. He's going to read a lot of classic books,
也许学种新语言 maybe study a language. Oh.
他该学会用意大利语说 Yes, uh, he can learn the Italian for,
"我值5根香烟" "I cost five cigarettes."
安德鲁 够了 Andrew, really.
布里 他在说笑 没事 Bree, he's joking. Everything's fine...
除了我的杯子 Except my glass,
好像空了 which seems to be empty.
布里 Bree?
看在上帝的份上 起来 Oh, for god sake. Get up.
你中午要参加俱乐部的花园聚餐 We have the garden club lunch in...
你喝酒了 You've been drinking?
走开 我不舒服 Go away. I don't feel well.
我们还得举办午餐会 We have a lunch to cater.
我太累了 你自己办吧 I'm too tired. Can you do it?
起来 Get up.
什么时候开始的 Oh. When did this start?
从奥森走后 我 When Orson left, I...
我时而会喝点白酒 Began having a glass of white wine now and then.
后来丹妮尔带走本杰明 Then when Danielle took Benjamin,
我就变本加厉 I didn't see any reason to stop at just one.
这就是你上周没去午餐会的原因 So is this why you missed the lunch last week
还有布雷福曼的成人礼 and the braverman bar mitzvah?
我控制不了自己 行了吧 I can't help myself, all right?
我丈夫走了 我儿子也离开我 My husband's gone. My son's gone.
我什么都没有 I have nothing left.
不 3小时后你有一个40人的午餐会 No, actually, you have a lunch for 40 in 3 hours,
我不会让你缺席 凯瑟琳 求求你 and I'm not letting you out of it. Oh, Katherine, please.
好吧 你生活空虚 Okay, so you have a void in your life.
欢迎加入我 别用酒填补空虚 Welcome to the club. Don't fill it with wine.
用工作 用朋友 Fill it with work, with accomplishments.
想想奥森回来后 Just think about the woman you could be
你想成为怎样的女人 by the time Orson gets back.
你想让他回家看到现在的你吗 Or is this the woman you want him to come home to?
他会为我感到羞愧的 He's gonna be so ashamed of me.
不 他不会 No, he won't...
因为他不会知道 Because you're not gonna tell him.
不然他会怪自己 You know he'd just blame himself.
我不知道这次我能不能撑过去 I don't know if I can make it this time.
会的 你会的 Yes, you will,
因为我会搬进来 because I am moving in.
你会干什么 You would do that?
我一无所有的时候 When I had nothing,
你让我当你的搭档 you made me your partner.
我不会忘记的 I'm not gonna forget that.
我会帮你撑过去 I am gonna get you through this.
等事情过去 现在的这个胆小鬼 And when we're done, that scary woman over there...
她不会再出现在房子里 She's never gonna be seen in this house again.
你想想 When you think about it,
今天是个好机会和凯瑟琳说清楚 tonight is the ideal time for you to tell Katherine.
那么多客人在场 The presence of the other guests
她不会大闹的 will keep her from causing a scene,
大家就会相互传我们是搭档 怎么传 and as word spreads that we're partners... and how is word going to spread?
我会传开 他们会祝贺我们 I'll be spreading it. People will be congratulating me,
凯瑟琳也会来祝贺我们 以免看起来可怜 and Katherine will have to join in and risk looking petty.
然后她会加倍生气 And she'll be twice as mad
因为我们让她处于这样的境地 at having been put in that position.
今晚我不会和她说的 好 那我说 I am not telling her tonight. Fine. Then I will.
不 你不能 我不允许 知道吗 你现在说话不像搭档像老板 No, you will not. I forbid it. You know, for a partner, you're sounding a lot like a boss.
我会告诉她 如果这点事情我们都不能达成共识 I am telling her. Look, if we can't agree on something this basic,
也许我们不该一起工作 你说什么 maybe we shouldn't work together. What are you saying?
我说 你该重新考虑是不是要加入我们 I'm saying, maybe you should reconsider joining the company.
我不需要重新考虑 好 你被开除了 I have no intention of reconsidering. Fine. You're fired.
伙计们 要去晚会了吗 Hey, guys. You ready to party?
晚会正如火如荼 The party was in full swing,
大家都在等着贵宾到来 and everyone was waiting to surprise the guest of honor.
但他们不知道 Little did they know,
更大的惊喜等着他们 an even bigger surprise was on its way.
对不起 我迟到了 蛋糕店人有点多 Sorry I'm late. There was a line at the bakery.
你们真的准备很周全 Well, you really went all out.
对 她应得的 Yeah, she deserves it.
我能帮你吗 麦克卢斯基太太 Can I help you, Mrs. McCluskey?
伊迪的信昨天送错到我那了 This letter for Edie came to my house by mistake.
我来看看有没有我的信送到这里 I'm making sure that none of my stuff, uh, came here.
这些都是你的 Well, it's all yours.
你好 Hey.
有什么好玩的吗 Anything interesting?
幸好没有 Fortunately, no.
我看见你朋友凯伦在门外 I just saw your friend Karen outside.
她还在向你打听我吗 Is she still asking you questions about me?
是的 但是别担心 A few, but don't take it personally.
那些上年纪的人就喜欢到处八卦 Prying is what people too old to have sex do
不然生活都没了乐趣 to keep life interesting.
她下周就70岁了 She's turning 70 next week.
不会吧 No kidding.
我们应该为她举办生日派对 Hey, we should throw her a party.
我打算和她出去喝一杯 这样就够了 I'm already taking her out for a drink. That's plenty.
她过70岁生日啊 亲爱的 She'll be 70, sweetheart.
是不是应该隆重一些 Don't you think that calls for something bigger?
听着 凯伦是我的朋友 Look, Karen's a friend,
但是我不喜欢她来我家 but I don't like having her in my house.
把我们家浴室的窗户打开 It would be one thing
倒没什么问题 但举办派对就免了 有没有其他人选可以来主办 if we had a bathroom with a window you could open, but... Well, couldn't you ask someone else to host it?
我想可以交给梅尔吧 Well, I suppose I could palm it off to Mayer.
很好 告诉她我们可以提供食物和酒水 Good. Tell her we'll supply the food and liquor.
凯伦和我们关系就这样 You know, Karen's not a fan of yours.
你为什么想为她开派对 Why do you want to throw her a party?
这是她的大日子 It's a big day for her.
我希望这一天够特别 I just want to make sure it's special.
瞧瞧 So...
怎么样 What do you think?
我认为这就是那套 I think that is one hell of an outfit
参加70岁生日派对上应该穿的衣服 to wear to a 70th birthday party.
这是我给凯伦的礼物 It's my gift to Karen.
我想她至少能讲出五段黄色笑话 I figure she'll get at least five good boob jokes out of it.
她马上就到了 Well, she'll be here soon,
我们再复习一次 so let's go over this one more time.
我先把她带回家 Okay. I take her home,
之后把她骗到苏珊家 then I come up with some excuse to get her over to Susan's,
然后大家跳出来一起喊 "惊喜" where everyone jumps out and yells, "surprise!"
当然我认为对于一位70岁的人来说 Which I still say isn't the smartest thing to do
这样并不明智 to a 70-year-old.
麦克卢斯基女士 Mrs. McCluskey.
生日快乐 Happy birthday.
伊迪 我们是去喝一杯还是给乳房照X光 Jeez, Edie, are we going for drinks or mammograms?
这是第一个笑话 That's one.
让我带好耳环 然后就出发 Oh, let me grab my earrings, and we're good to go.
嗯 So...
70岁 70.
里程碑式的日子 It's quite a milestone.
感觉如何 How's it feel?
没什么大不了 No big whoop.
伊迪告诉我 Edie told me that she takes you
她每年都带你去喝寿星酒 out for a birthday drink every year.
我认为这习惯很好 I think that's a great tradition.
听着 我只是想做朋友 Look, I'm just trying to be friends here.
好吧 All righty then.
回见 I'll see you later. Mm-hmm.
走吧 Come on. Let's go.
我朋友够多了 I've got enough friends.
凯伦在哪里呢 Oh. Where's Karen?
给她的猫喂完药之后 她马上就会来 She'll be here as soon as she gives her cat some medicine. Mm.
你认为她会大吃一惊吗 Mm. Do I you think she'll be surprised?
当然 Oh, absolutely.
怎么回事 What the...
大卫 Dave.
我确认一下 Just so I'm clear,
你想把我们兴旺的店铺卖掉 you want us to sell our thriving business
让全家住在像嘉年华一样的车里 so we can live in a bus, like carnies?
拜托 这很酷啊 我们想去哪都行 Come on. This is cool. We can go wherever we want.
孩子们可以看看祖国大好河山 The... the kids could see america.
当我们不得不以偷窃为生时 And when we start stealing to support ourselves,
孩子们就可以看看监狱是什么样了 the kids can see the inside of a prison.
汤姆 没错 这是好主意 You're right, Tom. It's a brilliant idea.
勒奈特 你为何一定要让人扫兴 Damn it, Lynette. Why do you have to be such a buzz kill?
你就不能给我点支持吗 哪怕就一次 Why can't you, just once, give me a little support?
好吧 我去给你拿条毛巾 Fine. I'll get you a towel.
要毛巾干嘛 For what?
布里 你不能解雇我 Bree, you can't fire me,
我为你牺牲了这么多 not after all the sacrifices I made for you.
奥森 别给我添乱了 Orson, stop throwing jail in my face.
你的狱友是不诚实的会计师 You cellmate was a crooked c.P.A.
他帮你建了桥牌俱乐部 这可不是在阿提卡 Who helped you form a bridge club. It wasn't exactly attica.
布里 我需要这份工作 Bree, I need this job.
你知道那种每天早上起来 Do you have any idea what it's like to wake up every morning
无所事事的感觉吗 and have no reason to get out of bed?
和每一个邻居微笑点头 To smile and nod at neighbors
他们都知道没人愿意雇佣重刑犯 who know your wife's supporting you
所以你的妻子在养着你 because no one will hire a felon?
我快要淹死了 而你给了我一根救命绳 I am drowning, and for you to throw me a lifeline
之后却又抽走 奥森 我一开始就不该给你这份工作 and then snatch it away... Orson, I should have never offered you that job.
这对凯瑟琳不公平 我才是你的丈夫 It wasn't fair to Katherine. I am your husband.
为什么你更在意她的感受 Why are you putting Katherine's feelings ahead of mine?
奥森 拜托别让我难做人 Orson, please. You're putting me in an impossible position.
那让我帮你解决吧 Then let me make it simpler for you.
我要离婚 I want a divorce.
凯瑟琳 裙子真漂亮 Hi. Katherine, great dress.
会迷倒不少人哦 You're gonna turn some heads with that one.
我希望你很喜欢这派对 卡洛斯 I hope you're enjoying this party, Carlos,
因为你马上就要死了 because you're not gonna live to see another one.
对不起 我撒了谎 不管怎么说 Look, I'm sorry that I lied, and for what it's worth,
我一直内疚地要死 the guilt has been tearing me apart.
你知道什么会让我感到痛苦 You know what's gonna tear me apart?
又一个10磅的宝贝让我发飙 Another 10-pound baby shooting out my hoo-ha.
亲爱的 这么想 Honey, look at it this way,
因为你是如此伟大的母亲 所以上帝再次保佑我们 god blessed us again because you are such a great mom.
把手拿开 你这个自私的王八蛋 Oh. Get your hands off me, you selfish son of a bitch.
我告诉过你 我爱你 I told you I love you.
这对你没有意义吗 Doesn't that mean anything to you?
有意义 意味着某人忘记 Yes. It means that someone forgot
我们说好不会认真的 that we had an agreement to keep things casual.
好吧 Wow. Okay.
那我们不是在谈恋爱 So if we're not in a relationship,
如果我跟别的女人好上了 你就不会担心吗 if I was with another woman, that wouldn't bother you?
不会 No, it wouldn't.
大伙安静点 Mm. Quiet, everyone.
她来了 快过来 She's coming. Move it.
惊喜 Surprise!
你别和我耍花招 You think you can screw with me?
什么意思 What do you mean?
凯伦 你到底在做什么 Aah! Karen, what the hell are you doing?
问你的丈夫 不要 Ask that husband of yours! No!
这男人今晚进了我家 Let's not be doing that. No, that man broke into my house tonight!
什么 是的 他把我的东西都换了位置 What? Yes, and he... and he moved things around,
他还取下一张墙上的照片 and he... and he took a picture off the wall,
把桌子移到沙发旁 and then he put the table next to the couch,
还动了放钥匙的盘子 本来是... and the dish for the keys... it's always by the... Shh.
本来是放在门边的 It's always by the door.
这也不是他第一次破门而入了 And that's not the first time he's broken in either.
他偷了我的猫 又把它放回来 He stole my cat, and then he put him back.
麦克卢斯基夫人 我为什么要这么做呢 Okay, Mrs. McCluskey, why would I do those things?
凯伦 我不想这么说 Karen, I hate to say it,
你现在简直不知所云了 but you're not making a lot of sense right now.
或许你该躺下休息一会儿 Maybe you need to lie down.
你这个 喂 You... Hey!
我觉得我们该报警了 I think we should call 9-1-1.
放开我 Let go of me!
为什么你们觉得我疯了 Why are you all acting like I'm crazy?
哈雷路亚 我月经来了 Whoo! Halle-damn-lujah, I got my period!
她也很吃惊吗 Oh, was she surprised?
她完全失去正常意识了 胡说一通 She seemed totally disoriented, babbling.
希望这不是老年痴呆 I just hope it isn't dementia.
她独自一人居住 She lives by herself.
我们会告诉医院的 We'll alert the hospital.
她需要进行精神评估 谢谢了 We're gonna need a psych evaluation. Thank you. Thank you.
可怜的凯伦 希望她没事 Poor Karen. I hope she's okay.
是的 我也是 Yeah, me, too.
我们现在是否该好好谈谈 We should probably talk now, huh?
是的 谈谈吧 Yeah. Let's talk.
我们究竟会不会有未来 Does this relationship have a future?
杰克逊 我们现在不是挺好的么 Jackson, what we have here has been working pretty well.
回答我的问题 Answer the question.
我们能不能就保持现状 Can't we just keep going the way we are?
看来这就是答案了 And there's my answer.
他们应该会好好照顾她的 It seems like they're taking good care of her.
我希望你刚才不是有意那么说的 I hope you didn't mean what you said earlier.
你不明白 我欠凯瑟琳究竟有多少 You just don't understand what I owe to Katherine.
是的 我是不清楚 You're right. I don't.
当年她情况糟糕 需要工作 You started the company
是你开办了公司 还给了她工作 and gave her a job when she needed one badly.
为什么是你欠了她 Why are you the one who owes her?
你还记得吗 You know that...
你去监狱前 我和你吃的那顿早中饭 Brunch we had for you right before you left for prison?
我感到很紧张 I was very tense,
而且心情很不愉快 and I was very unhappy.
所以我 喝了一杯香槟 So I had... A glass of champagne.
她很坚强的 She's tough.
她一定会好起来的 I'm sure she'll be okay.
那对醉酒的夫妻呢 How about the crazy married couple throwing drinks?
他们会怎样 How are they gonna be?
我以为你没事了 You know, I just thought that you got it,
在那次事故后 我好起来了 that you knew what I was going through after my accident.
很显然 我错了 You know, obviously I was wrong.
不 我知道 运动款汽车 车库乐队... No, I get it. The sports car, the garage band...
汤姆 或许我们现在所要的 是满足你的需求 Maybe what we need now, Tom, if for you to get it.
喂 我才是那个躺在地上 Hey, I was the one laying on the floor
被警察起博心脏的病人 with a cop pounding on my chest.
可我还得了癌症呢 是我得了癌症 And I had cancer. I get it. I get it.
你想要你的生活 变得有价值 有意义 You want your life to count for something.
当然 我可不想在我真正病倒前 Exactly. I just don't want to keep making pizzas every day
每天只是做做披萨而已 till I drop to the floor for real.
我需要有激情的生活 告诉你 我要去探险 I want my life to be exciting. You know, I need adventure.
斯加沃一家一直就在冒险 我们的生活发生了巨大的变化 Scavo's was the adventure. We changed our whole lives
你就不能远离你的梦想吗 你真是烦人 so you could live out your dream, and now you're bored.
我们不能总这样 汤姆 We can't keep doing this, Tom.
不能因为你每次感到有压力 We can't keep throwing all the cards up in the air
我们就吵得不可开交 every time you get a little restless.
时间已经不早了 Let's call it a night.
明天还有事要做 We have to work tomorrow.
你回不回来 Are you coming?
等我心理准备好 I'll come when I'm ready.
真的要叫救护车那么严重吗 Did she really need an ambulance?
我不知道 I don't know.
要是我月经没来 我倒真该送医院了 But you would have if I hadn't started my period.
你怎么会这样 How could you have done this?
还不明显吗 我还想要个孩子 Isn't it obvious? I want another kid.
我们养不起第三个孩子了 We can't handle another kid.
我们现在生活相当拮据 在我们生胡安妮塔前 生西利娅前 We're living hand to mouth as it is. That's what you said before we had Juanita
你也这么说 可是我们做到了 and before we had Celia, and somehow we manage.
你能想象失去她们 我们生活会怎样 And can you imagine our lives without them?
当然不能没有她们 可是... Of course I can't. It's just...
你干嘛要骗我 How could you have lied to me?
我情不自禁地希望 I just couldn't shake
奇迹能够再次发生 the idea that maybe god had one more miracle in store for us.
想要个儿子 Maybe a son.
我们的生活中充满着爱 And we have so much love in our lives,
对于爱 我充满着贪婪 I got greedy, and I wanted more.
但你是对的 But you're right.
很抱歉 我如此自私和愚蠢 It was selfish and stupid, and I am so sorry.
我明天就去预约 做结扎术 I will call tomorrow and schedule a vasectomy.
或者 我也可以去做节育术 Or... we use birth control,
这样可以双保险 and I'm talking double-bagging,
当然需要我们彼此都认可 at least until we both decide it's a good idea. Wow.
我想吻你 I think I gotta kiss you.
赶紧给家里添置一盒避孕套 And until we get a box of condoms in that house,
不然不许做爱 that's all you're gettin'.
奥森 怎么了 Orson. What's up?
布里告诉了我 我在监狱里你为她所做的一切 Bree told me what you did for her when I was in prison.
我想说声谢谢 I just want to thank you.
没什么 It's nothing.
不是为了布里或我 Not to Bree or me.
叫她闭口不谈往事 你真是太好了 And you were dead right to stop her from telling me.
能够为这么聪慧的人工作 真是荣幸 I'd consider it an honor to work for somebody that wise.
为我工作 Work for?
不是说是拍档吗 The last I heard, it was partner.
好吧 要不这样 All right, how's this?
在你承认我有资格之后 I'll become a partner...
我再来做你们的拍档 But only after you decide I've earned it.
我很有耐心 I'm a patient man.
即使要两年 也没关系 I don't care if it takes two years.
亲爱的 Oh, honey...
为布里工作 你不可能坚持超过10个月 Working for Bree... You're not gonna last ten months.
我跟她说声再见可以吗 Mind if I say good-bye to our girl?
没问题 她有点头昏 Sure, but she's a little groggy.
全都是你策划的 You planned the whole thing.
你想要除掉我 You're trying to get rid of me.
是的 Yes.
很抱歉拿你开刀 And I'm sorry it had to be you.
因为我知道 你有不良目的 'Cause I know you're up to something...
可怕的目的 Something awful.
你不懂什么叫"可怕" You don't know what "awful" is.
凯伦 好好保重 You take care of yourself, Karen,
小心身体 and I mean that.
的确 这是个充满着意外的夜晚 Yes, it was a night filled with surprises.
有人明白了 她们的丈夫对未来充满着憧憬 Some had learned of their husband's plans for the future...
有人则知晓了 妻子过去难熬的时光 Others had discovered the truth of their wife's past...
有人终于认知到 丈夫对于爱的渴望 Some were touched by their husband's secret longings...
也有人因爱人闪电般的离去 受到了伤害 Others were hurt by their lover's quick departure.
而对于这位邻居来说 But for one resident,
这一夜 最终如他所愿 the evening had gone as planned,
他终于能够重置他真正的计划 and he now turned his thoughts to his real agenda.
无需等待太久 It wouldn't be long now
他很快可以报复那个 毁了他生活的人 before he destroyed the man who had ruined his life,
但他明白 应当步步为营 but he knew he had to move carefully.
他希望结局 是出人意料的 After all, he wanted it to be a surprise.