《绝望的主妇》 前情提要 Previously on Desperate Housewives
新来的邻居 The new neighbor...
-他很帅 -是个单身汉 - He's cute. - He's a bachelor.
成为了英雄 ... became a hero...
一场危机 撮合了朱莉和奥斯丁 ... in a crisis that brought Julie and Austin together,
而卡洛斯和加布 却分道扬镳 while Carlos and Gabby broke apart.
我事业辉煌 前途光明 I had a career and a future,
为了你我放弃了一切 but I gave it all up for you.
可我得到了什么 And what did I get in return?
警方攒起手中零散的证据 The police assembled their pieces of evidence.
她手上写着你的电话号码 Your number was written on her hand.
我帮不上什么忙 I can't help you.
失忆了 那省事了 No memory, huh? That's convenient.
凯伦·麦克卢斯基总是乐于助人 Karen McCluskey had always believed in helping others,
无论别人是否需要她的帮助 whether they wanted her help or not.
这是怎么回事 What's all this?
你是不是总是抽不开身 You know how you never got around
去粉刷你的车库门 我帮你刷了 to painting your garage door? Well, it's done.
希望你喜欢蓝色 Hope you like blue.
巴克斯塔 你找到了他 Baxter. You found him.
是的 我还顺便把他阉了 Yeah, and I got him neutered, too.
我想你不希望有更多的流浪猫在这里晃悠 I figured you wouldn't want any more strays around here.
-凯伦 -你好 阿尔伯塔 - Karen. - Hi, Alberta.
我帮你拿了下来 I took these down for you since,
圣诞节都已经过去半年了 you know, Christmas was six months ago.
是的 麦克卢斯基太太的援助之手 Yes, Mrs. McCluskey's helping hand
是紫藤郡众所周知的 was known throughout Wisteria Lane.
但这一天却有点出乎意料 But on this day it was about to get slapped.
你在做什么 What the hell are you doing?
伊迪 你吓到我了 Jeez, Edie, you scared me.
你在这做什么 What're you doing here?
在整理麦克的房子 Getting Mike's house ready.
他明天就出院回来了 He comes back from the hospital tomorrow.
你什么时候有了他车库的钥匙 Since when do you have a key to his garage?
他给我的 以防万一 He gave me one, in case of an emergency.
不要对我说谎 傻瓜 Don't lie to me, prune.
好的 我在他门垫下找到的 Fine. I found it under his mat.
我又没做什么坏事 I'm not doing anything wrong.
我每周来一次 I come over once a week
启动他的割草机 防止引擎生锈 and start his mower so the engine doesn't get rusty.
顺便也用来割你的草坪 And do you mow your lawn with it, too?
有什么关系 我是在帮他的忙 What's the big deal? I'm doing him a favor.
他可不需要你的帮忙 Well, he doesn't need any favors from you.
我要一间间地查看麦克的房子 I'm gonna go through Mike's house room by room,
哪怕发现丢失了一个回形针 and if I find one paper clip missing,
我也会报警的 I'm calling the cops.
你说到遗失东西 那就可笑了 Funny you should talk about stuff that's missing.
我找到了你丢弃的麦克和苏珊的照片 I found those pictures of Mike and Susan you threw out.
-照片 -不要在我面前作秀了 - Pictures? - Oh, don't act for me.
我知道麦克的记忆出了问题 I know Mike's been having troubles with his memory.
我猜 你是不想让他记起 My guess, you don't want him to remember
他对前女友爱得如何疯狂 how crazy he was about his old girlfriend.
我才不用弄虚作假地去骗男人 I don't need to resort to deception to land a man.
伊迪 我把那些照片保存下来了 Oh, Edie? I saved the pictures.
只要我乐意 我可以随时拿给麦克看 And I can show them to Mike any time I like.
是的 凯伦·麦克卢斯基总是乐于助人 Yes, Karen McCluskey believed in helping others.
你想怎么样 Where are you going with this?
因为她认为这样 Which she felt gave her the right...
也给自己行了方便 ... to help herself.
记得要礼貌点 微笑 Remember to be polite. Smile.
每年 作为他们筹款活动的一部分 Each year, as part of their fundraising drive,
美景镇探险童子军协会 the Fairview Adventure Scouts
会奖励一辆闪亮的新自行车 would award a shiny new bike
给那个卖出最多杂志订阅的人 to whoever sold the most magazine subscriptions.
每个童子都会带着自信出发 And each Scout would set out,
因为她们都志在必得 utterly convinced the prize would be hers.
这就是年轻的美妙之处 That's the beauty of youth.
小女孩们相信万事皆可能 Little girls believe anything is possible.
直到她们长大并经历了离婚 That is, until they grow up and get divorced.
你好 Hi.
如果我告诉你在帮助孩童的同时 What if I told you there is a way you could help children
能以较低的价格 while also reading your favorite magazines
阅读你最喜欢的杂志 at a reduced price?
你想不想再多了解一点 Would you like to hear more?
可以 说来听听 Sure. Knock yourself out.
明智的选择 Wise choice.
我们为主妇们提供的杂志有《红皮书》 《魅力》 For the lady of the house we offer Redbook, Glamour,
《时你》 Vog-you.
我想你是说《时尚》吧 亲爱的 I think you mean Vogue, sweetie.
你确定 You sure?
当然 我曾是它的封面女郎 I should know. I was on the cover.
不是吧 No way.
就是 Uh, way.
瞧这张 我穿的大衣 See the coat I'm wearing in this shot?
那是纯豹猫皮的 That's genuine ocelot fur.
不过摄影师 才是真正的野兽 Although the photographer was the real animal,
如果你能听懂的话 if you know what I'm saying.
但还是希望你听不懂的好 Which I hope you don't.
永远都不要去嗑药 好吗 And don't ever do drugs, OK?
当模特肯定很赞 Being a model must be so amazing.
你为什么不做了 Why did you stop?
我与人相爱 然后结婚了 Well, I fell in love, got married
接着就搬到郊区来了 and moved to the suburbs
为了像童话故事般 有个幸福的结局 for the whole fairy tale, happy ending thing.
一切都糟透了 That was a crock.
你要回去再做模特吗 So, you going back to modeling?
不 不 不 No. No, no, no, no, no.
为什么不呢 你还能做什么 Why not? What else are you gonna do?
你要重新做模特 这太突然了 You're going back to modeling? This is so sudden.
我们不要想太多 我只是飞到纽约 Let's not get ahead of ourselves. I'm gonna fly to New York,
会会我的前经纪人 然后重新开始 meet with my old agent, and take it from there.
高兴点 大伙们 Come on, you guys.
很激动人心 为了我高兴点 This is exciting. Be happy for me.
我们为你感到高兴 Oh, we are.
我们只是会很想你的 We're just gonna miss you, that's all.
现在我的离婚案已经结束了 Now that my divorce is final,
早晨醒来 我需要生活的方向 I need a reason to wake up in the morning.
我不能再用购物来填补生活的空隙 I have this hole in my life that can't be filled by shopping.
没错 我是这么说的 That's right. I said it.
天啊 勒奈特 Oh, my gosh, Lynette.
我去叫孩子们 他们想死你了 I'll get the kids. They're dying to see you.
好的 OK.
天啊 你们没必要这么做 Oh, my gosh. You didn't have to do this!
-好啊 -你看起来不错 - Hi. - You look great.
显然肩部中一枪 为难不了你 Apparently taking a.38 slug to the shoulder agrees with you.
是啊 听着 关于这个 Yeah. Um, listen, about that,
孩子们还不知道真相 the kids don't know what happened.
他们不知道 They don't?
他们还太小接受不了 They're a little young to deal with
他们妈妈被枪击的事实 their mother getting shot.
我只告诉他们 凯拉和她奶奶呆在一起 All I told them Kayla is staying with her grandmother
还编造了一个我受伤的故事 and I made up a story about how I got hurt.
-妈妈 -你们来了 - Hey, Mom! - Here they are.
你好啊 在这边 Hello. Oh, this side.
我真不敢相信你跟一个流浪汉打起来了 I can't believe you got in a fight with a hobo.
你们瞧 人被麻醉后 就会这么表现 Yeah. Let's see how well you do on a morphine drip.
妈妈 进来 Mommy, come inside.
我们帮麦克卢斯基太太做了你最爱的午饭 We helped Mrs. McCluskey make your favorite lunch.
太好了 你去前面开路 我随后就来 Fantastic. Lead the way. I'm coming in.
快点 我饿死了 Hurry up. I'm hungry.
我们走 我们走 Let's go, let's go.
她在这呢 我的宝贝 There she is. Hi, Bunny, Bunny.
你们先进去快活起来吧 Hey. Why don't you go inside and get the party started?
我得 I've gotta...
宝贝 我马上就回来 Hi, Bunny. I'll be right there.
勒奈特 你回来了 Lynette, you're home.
-是的 -你怎么样了 - Yeah. - How are you doing?
我很好 我只是 I'm good. I just...
我要如何感谢救我一命的人 How do I thank the man who saved my life?
一切尽在不言中 You don't have to say anything.
我要给你做个蛋糕 I'm gonna make you a cake.
-蛋糕 -是的 - A cake? - Yeah.
我从不做蛋糕的 但这很重要 I never make cakes. This is huge.
这样的话 就谢谢了 In that case, thanks.
没错 我要给你做个蛋糕 Yeah, I'm gonna make you a cake!
圣诞颂歌 现在甚至还没到感恩节 Christmas carols? It's not even Thanksgiving.
今年我要早点准备我的贺卡 I'm starting my cards early this year.
这让我有了传播节日氛围的心情 It puts me in the mood to spread holiday cheer.
还有这堆虚假的家庭慰问信 And with this pack of lies in this family newsletter,
她在假期说说谎话而已 she spreads holiday denial.
安德鲁 这是礼节 Andrew，it's etiquette.
没有人想在圣诞节获知真相 Nobody wants the truth at Christmas.
说得好 亲爱的 Well said, darling.
你能换上另一张CD么 Would you put on another CD?
有雪橇铃儿响叮当的 Something with sleigh bells.
此外 奥森 Oh, by the way, Orson,
我需要你母亲在养老院的地址 I need your mother's address at the nursing home.
很感激你的关心 Oh. Well, I appreciate the thought,
但是你没必要给她寄贺卡 but you needn't send her a card.
别傻了 Don't be silly.
我连抄煤气表的人都寄了 I'm sending one to the man who reads our gas meter.
怎能不寄贺卡给你妈 I can send one to your mother.
她完全老糊涂了 She's completely senile.
每天就知道喝杯咖啡而已 She'll only try to dunk it in her coffee.
那就更有理由要寄了 All the more reason to send one.
让那些护士知道 Let the nurses know that
她有爱她的家人 she has family at home who loves her,
会随时去探访 and who could drop by at any minute
并给他们颜色看 and slap them with a lawsuit.
布里 我懂你的意思了 Bree, I hear what you're saying.
奥森 有什么大不了的 Orson, what's the big deal?
只是一个地址而已 It's just an address.
行 我去拿我的通讯录 Fine. I'll get my book.
那家养老院就在莱克威 The home is somewhere over in Lakeview.
莱克威 Lakeview?
我记得你说过 她在东部呢 You gave me the impression that she was back east.
因为我想避及谈论此事 That's because I wanted to avoid this conversation.
如果去她那儿只要30分钟 If she's only 30 minutes away,
你为什么从不去探望她 why haven't you been visiting her?
好的 事实是 现在去见她我会心碎 OK, the truth is, it breaks my heart to see her now.
我想记住从前的她 I want to remember her as she was.
-但是 奥森 -布里 - But, Orson... - Bree!
我拒绝坐在一间 I refuse to sit in a room
充满消毒水和青柠果冻味的房间里 that smells of disinfectant and lime Jell-O
跟一个根本不记得我的女人小聊 making small talk with a woman who doesn't remember me.
不要再提了 真见鬼 Now let it go, damn it.
但是 不管怎样 还是寄张卡片吧 But, by all means, do send a card.
精灵们会和她作乐的 The elves will tickle her.
-可以了吗 -等等 - Well, shall we? - Wait.
朱莉会知道我提早回来是因为担心她 Julie's gonna know we came home early to check up on her.
我不想让她认为我太有保护欲 太粘人了 I don't want her to think I'm overprotective and clingy.
但她曾被挟做人质 The girl was held hostage.
你变得粘人也情有可原 It's natural you're gonna be clingy.
是的 已经过了一周了 Yeah, it's been a week.
我会让她心烦的 I'm getting on her nerves.
不如这样 How about this?
我们提早回来 是因为餐厅太糟糕了 We came home early because we hated the restaurant.
服务差劲 龙虾也难吃 The service was dreadful. The lobster was inedible.
好主意 OK.
等下 如果我们不喜欢那家餐厅 Wait. If we hated the restaurant,
那为什么我们还要打包回来呢 then why are we bringing home food?
说的没错 Good point.
不 不 等等 你在开什么玩笑 No, no, wait, wait! Are you kidding?
这可是龙虾 这样吧 That's lobster. OK.
我认为餐厅很棒 I thought the restaurant was fantastic.
你是个挑剔的傲慢鬼 难以取悦 You were the fussy snob who was impossible to please.
为什么我是挑剔的傲慢鬼 Why do I have to be the fussy snob?
-因为你是英国人 -好吧 - Because you're British. - Fine.
但是我想你待会儿会用特殊的方式 I trust you'll make it up to me later
来尽力弥补我 如同一位绅士 by doing the things a gentleman expects
为龙虾买单后所期望的一样 when he's sprung for lobster.
我今晚美梦落空了 对吧 I'm not getting any tonight, am I?
你们不是应该在吃晚饭吗 You're supposed to be having dinner.
是我的错 It's my fault.
我觉得那个餐厅太 I found the restaurant to be...
不管这么多了 Oh, let it go.
我们提早回来是因为我担心你 We came home because I was worried about you.
看来我来对了 And with good reason!
你快穿好上衣离开这儿 You put on your shirt and get out!
我没穿上衣来 But I didn't bring a shirt.
当时我在外面跑步 See, I was out running...
谁管你的 滚 Who cares? Go!
你怎么能这么对他 How could you treat him like that?
如果那天在超市没有奥斯丁 If Austin hadn't been in that supermarket,
我可能就不会在这了 I might not be here.
是的 我很感激他 Yes, I am grateful,
但我不会脱掉上衣 but I found a way to say thank you
去表示谢意 without taking my top off.
只是松了几个钮扣而已 A couple buttons came undone.
我又没有袒胸露乳 Not like my boobs were out.
好吧 时候不早了 OK. Well, it's, uh, it's getting late.
我真的 And I really...
不 伊恩 是我反应过激了吗 No, Ian, am I overreacting here?
我能理解在共度难关后 Well, I can understand on the heels of a crisis,
两个人会结合 并发现他们... two people might bond and find themselves...
你真是个淘气的姑娘 You're a very naughty girl!
朱莉 Julie.
那男孩好酗酒 爱偷窃 That boy drinks, he steals,
现在还在沙发上对你毛手毛脚 and now I find him mauling you on my couch.
到此为止 我不准你再见他了 That's it. I forbid you to see him.
你无权这么做 You can't do that.
我约谁由我做主 I choose who I date.
什么 那我就关你禁闭 Yeah? Well, I choose to ground you.
两周 宝贝 Two weeks, baby.
我去学校找他 I'll see him at school.
那你不用上学了 Well, you won't go to school.
我在家教你 I'll homeschool you.
你要教我三角函数吗 You're gonna teach me trig?
你连自己的支票簿都搞不明白 You can't balance your checkbook.
对啊 你会学得很差劲 Yes, you'll be poorly educated.
然后考不上大学 You won't get into college,
后半辈子只能吃低保来过活 and you'll work for minimum wage for the rest of your life.
全都败那男孩所赐 All because of that boy!
你满意了 I hope you're happy!
妈妈 我喜欢他 Mom, I like this guy.
如果你因此不开心 那我很抱歉 I'm sorry if it makes you unhappy,
但我会继续和他交往 but I'm going to keep seeing him.
看起来很棒吧 Doesn't the place look great?
我来收拾过了 I came in and straightened up.
我想让你觉得一切都秩序井然 I wanted everything to look nice for you.
你还好吗 Are you ok?
很好 只是 Yeah. Yeah, it's just that...
我回家了 但没有家的归属感 I'm home, but it doesn't really feel like home.
会有的 慢慢适应 It will. Give it time.
重要的是你出院了 The important thing is that you're back from the hospital.
会一天天好起来的 And every day you're getting better.
事过境迁了 Hey, the worst's behind you.
我要德尔非诺家的搜查令 I need the Delfino search warrant.
除非你有正当理由 You're not gonna get it without probable cause.
女死者的手上有那家伙的电话号码 Guy's phone number was written on a dead girl's hand.
法官需要更确凿的证据 The judge is gonna need more.
就知道你会这么说 Thought you might say that.
这是莫妮可·波利耶的化验结果 Here's Monique Poulier's lab work.
红外光谱显示 The infrared spectroscopy matched
死者头部伤口的油漆残片 paint fragments in the head wound
与管钳的近似线吻合 to the proximal line of pipe wrenches.
这种管钳很高端 They're high-end,
只有专业的水管工会用到 only used by professional plumbers.
猜猜德尔非诺靠什么营生 And guess what our boy Delfino does for a living?
我会尽力的 I'll see what I can do.
弗郎西斯科 什么叫拍不了她 What do you mean you can't shoot her, Francesco?
如果能遮住她的痘痘 If you can airbrush her acne,
就能遮住她的疤痕 you can airbrush the track marks.
她要不是吸毒过量就别再打给我 Now, don't call me again unless she OD's.
加布丽尔 我的乖乖女 Gabrielle, ma petite fille.
坐吧 Sit.
你漂亮极了 又年轻了 You look amazing. Younger than ever.
我新做的皮肤填充术 It's my new derma filler.
非法的 It's banned here,
是我助手从巴西偷偷带回来的 so my assistant smuggles it in from Brazil.
有趣吧 我有自己的毒贩子了 Isn't it fun? I have my own drug mule.
棒极了 That's great.
我也有些趣闻 Well, I have some fun news of my own.
我准备重操旧业 I'm ready to model again.
真的吗 Really? Oh.
我们上回交谈时 The last time we spoke
你迫不及待地要隐退 you couldn't wait to quit.
你当时为了爱义无反顾地放弃了一切 You were giving it all up for love.
你的白马王子怎么了 What happened to Prince Charming?
离婚了 Divorce.
又单身了 Oh, single again.
是不是有点讽刺 Isn't that ironic,
你不是叫我... since I'm the one you called...
你当时怎么说的来着 Oh, how did you put it?
一个将会孤独终老 并被她的猫吃掉的 A career-obsessed lesbo who would die alone
女同性恋工作狂 and be eaten by her cats.
我有那么说过吗 Did I say that?
覆水难收 Water under the bridge.
我觉得挺有趣的 I thought it was funny.
现在更有趣了 It's even funnier now.
玛莎拉 我回来了 Look, Marcella, I'm back.
以前我们合作得多好啊 And we made such a great team before.
让我们再续前缘 I think we can be again.
那可说不准 亲爱的 时代不同了 I don't know. Darling, things are different now.
你不可能重返 You're not gonna be able to jump back in
当年的辉煌 where you left off.
我只想要份工作 Well, I just want to work.
我还没想好 Well, I'm still not sure.
要不这样吧 You know what might help?
你卑微地求我 If you groveled.
你说认真的吗 Are you serious?
我没法领会 I can't tell,
因为你的脸都僵了 because your face doesn't move anymore.
假的 我开玩笑的 No, I'm joking.
欢迎归队 亲爱的 Welcome back, darling.
谢谢你 Thank you.
你好 Well, hello, there.
您气色真好 How pretty you look today.
能下床走动太棒了 It's wonderful that you're up and about.
您一定很喜欢这些五彩缤纷的气球吧 You must be enjoying these colorful balloons.
你为什么像对白痴讲话一样 Why are you talking to me like I'm a moron?
噢 失礼了 Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry.
护士带我过来的 The nurse pointed me over here.
我说要找葛罗莉娅·霍吉 I'm looking for Gloria Hodge.
我就是葛罗莉娅·霍吉 I'm Gloria Hodge.
你又是谁 Who might you be?
不得不说 看到您神智清醒 I must say, I'm surprised at
我真的很吃惊 how lucid you are.
奥森的话让我以为 Orson led me to believe...
我已经是老年痴呆症晚期了 不是的 That I was in the final stages of dementia. No.
恐怕这只是他一厢情愿的念头 I'm afraid that's just wishful thinking on his part.
他怎么会这么想呢 Well, how can he feel that way?
你是他母亲 You're his mother.
我也不想指责他 但我们的 I wouldn't judge him too harshly. Ours is a...
关系很复杂 complicated relationship.
我们爱对方 这是肯定的 There is love, to be sure,
但又总让对方失望 but we have a way of disappointing each other.
那他是怎么让你失望的 Well, how does he disappoint you?
他冷酷 刻板 He's cold, rigid,
还 还总揪住过往不放 and... and utterly incapable of letting go of the past.
你又怎么让他失望的呢 And how do you disappoint him?
我不想死 I refuse to die.
我明白了 Yes, I see.
但这些裂痕断然不会无法弥补 Well, surely this rift isn't irreparable.
你知道住养老院的人 Do you know how people
都是怎么过日子的吗 布里 in nursing homes spend their days, Bree?
他们回忆过往 They think about the past.
如果机会重来 And all the things they'd do differently
一切都将不同 if they had the chance.
请转告奥森 我对不起他 Please tell Orson that I'm sorry.
尽管如此 我依然爱他 And in spite of everything, I still love him.
我有个更好的主意 Well, I have a better idea.
你何不亲口跟他说 Why don't you tell him yourself?
那样很好 That would be great.
真是太感谢了 I really appreciate it.
好的 谢谢 OK. Thank you.
埃德怎么说 So, what did Ed say?
你什么时候回去上班 When do you go back to work?
他说我想休多久都行 还是带薪的 He said take as much time as I want with pay.
你应该经常挨枪子儿 You should get gunned down more often.
他们来了 Hey, there they are.
小伙子们 Hey, guys.
你们好 Hello.
今天过得怎么样 表现得好吗 How was school? Doing well?
妈妈 你中枪了吗 Mommy, were you shot?
中枪 你们从哪里听来的 Shot? Where did you hear that?
乔丹·布莱克威尔德说的 Jordan Blackwelder.
又是这变态 他还总说圣诞老人不存在 That's the same creep who tried to ruin Santa Claus.
他说那个疯女人用枪射中了你 And he said the same crazy lady that shot you,
还杀死了诺拉阿姨 killed Auntie Nora dead.
新闻报导什么的满天飞 It was on the news and everything.
孩子们 很抱歉 Listen, kids. I am sorry.
我们不该瞒你们的 We shouldn't have lied.
但有时父母不想 But sometimes parents want to
孩子们听到这些恐怖的事 protect kids from scary things.
还有好消息是 And, look, the good news is,
妈妈已经康复了 Mommy's fine now.
我们还会在天堂见到诺拉阿姨的 And we'll all see Auntie Nora again in heaven.
或者别的地方 Or wherever.
他们把子弹给你了吗 Did they let you keep the bullet?
没有 不会的 No. I'm afraid not.
真扫兴 That blows.
我们还想带到"展示讲述课"去呢 We wanted to bring it for show and tell.
宝贝 你怎么了 Hey, sweetheart, you OK?
如果那个疯女人回来了怎么办 What if the crazy lady comes back?
她回不来了 She won't.
你怎么知道 How do you know?
因为她跟诺拉阿姨一起上天堂了 Well, because she's up in heaven with Auntie Nora.
或是别的地方 Or wherever.
朱莉·梅尔 你给我回来 Julie Mayer, you get back here!
你被禁足了 不记得啦 You're grounded, remember?
伊迪·布利特 我要跟你谈谈 Edie Britt, I want to talk to you.
好不容易才从人质案里活下来 I just survived a hostage situation.
这一个礼拜遭的罪还不够吗 Haven't I suffered enough for one week?
让你侄子离我女儿远点 You keep your nephew away from my daughter or else.
我也不想他们俩在一起 Look, I don't like it, either.
但棒打鸳鸯 But the harder we try to keep them apart
只会让他们更想在一起 the more they'll fight to be together.
就顺其自然吧 Just let it run its course.
你疯了吗 Are you crazy?
如果我们不阻止 If we don't do something those two
他们一定会上床的 could end up having sex!
会 Could?
我的天呐 你不是想说 Oh, my God. You don't...
我这么说吧 Let me put it this way.
我梳妆台上放了一盒避孕套 I've got a box of condoms in my dresser.
有11个不见了 Eleven are gone.
我只知道8个的去向 I can only account for eight of them.
那你怎么还坐视不理 How can you be so calm about this?
-伊迪 -我在 - Edie? - Yeah.
你能帮我系下领带吗 Can you help me with this tie?
麦克 Mike.
你出院了 You're out of the hospital.
是啊 他回家了 Yeah. He's home.
其实 今晚我们要出去庆祝一下 In fact, we're gonna go out and celebrate tonight.
我等一下就来 好吗 宝贝 I'll be with you in one sec, ok, babe?
既然你问了 Since you asked,
我淡定是因为我知道如果俩人 I'm calm because I know if two people
命中注定要在一起 are meant to be together,
任何人插手都是徒劳 there's nothing anyone can do about it.
我大概6点钟左右回来 OK. I should be back at around 6:00.
他们可以吃点零食 They can have one snack.
尽量让他们吃苹果 Try and push apples.
要是他们反抗的话 But if they threaten violence,
还有个备用的巧克力棒 I have an emergency candy bar
放在水槽下面 under the sink.
已经没有了 Not anymore, you don't.
噢 天哪 Oh, jeez.
妈妈 你去哪 Mommy, where are you going?
去超市 To the market.
不要 No.
宝贝 不是那个超市 Hey, sweetie, it's a different market.
你还会再中枪的 You're gonna get shot again.
不会的 No, I won't.
妈妈们天天去那个商店 Lots of mommies go to the store every day
大家都没事 and they're fine.
那儿真的没那么可怕 It's really not a scary place.
你在那儿中枪了 You went to the store and got shot.
而诺拉阿姨死了 And Auntie Nora died.
我只在那儿呆10分钟 我保证 I'm only gonna be in there ten minutes. I promise.
不能让她去吗 Can't she go?
好吧 我去 Fine, I'll go.
谢谢 Thanks.
我中枪就没关系了 是吧 臭小子 You don't give a hoot if I get shot, do you, kid?
你一定就是棠雅 我叫加布丽尔 You must be Tanya. I'm Gabrielle.
咱们今天一起合作 We're gonna be co-models today.
不知你以前是否拍过 Now, I don't know if you've ever done
这么大场面的片子 one of these big shoots before,
不过别紧张 德金和我是老朋友了 but don't be nervous. Dirkin and I are old friends.
他人很好的 只要记住 他是主角 He's a sweetheart. Now, just remember, he's the king.
照他说的做 就万事大吉了 Do exactly what he says and you'll be fine.
我当模特儿已经两年了 I've been modeling for two years.
当过6回封面女郎 I've done six magazine covers,
而且我还和德金睡在一起 and I'm sleeping with Dirkin.
看来你准备就绪了 I guess you're all set, then.
你们可以挑衣服了 You've got some wardrobe choices.
我真想被埋在这件衣服里 I want to be buried in this dress.
这是棠雅的 妈妈的衣服在最后面 This is for Tanya. The mom's stuff is at the end.
妈妈 Mom?
来吧 大家伙儿 让人血脉贲张吧 OK, love, let's get the blood pumping!
此次的构想是 "锁上你的女儿" The concept is "lock up your daughters."
好的 大家开工了 OK, get to work, everybody.
棠雅 你慢慢地站上草坪 Tanya, I want you to hover down here on the lawn,
神态要可人无比 looking absolutely delicious.
非常感谢 Thank you very much.
在门廊这里 And up here on the porch,
父母亲要看起来很震惊 Mom and Dad looking all scandalized.
打扰一下 德金 Excuse me, Dirkin?
什么事 亲爱的 Yes, love?
是加布 It's Gabby.
加布丽尔·马可兹 Gabrielle Marquez.
你在米兰给我拍过照 记得吗 You shot me in Milan, remember?
当然记得 很高兴再见到你 Yes. Yes! Lovely to see you again.
有什么问题吗 Did you have a question, then?
是的 I do. Um...
你难道不担心我会抢了风头吗 Aren't you a little worried that I'm gonna pull focus?
我是说 那会让大家混淆 I mean, it's a little confusing.
大家会看到棠雅 People are gonna see Tanya,
和那哥们儿 then they're gonna see that guy.
他们会想要知道我是谁 And they're gonna wonder who I am.
你是妈妈 You're the Mom.
大家不会买账的 我是这么设想的 People aren't gonna buy that. Here's what I was thinking.
我去穿件长裙 I slap on one of those gowns.
扮演棠雅从学校回到家中 I play Tanya's big sister,
爱生点小事的姐姐 home from college to raise a little hell.
然后我们把这些都打成字幕 是吗 And we're gonna cram all that on a subtitle, are we?
对不起 只是这些服装太丑了 I'm sorry. It's just this outfit is hideous.
演好你的就行了 Just make it work.
好吧 我需要点时间来进入角色 Fine. I just need a moment to get into character.
加布丽尔 你在干嘛呢 Gabrielle, what's the hold up?
我们得开始拍摄了 We've got to get moving here.
好了 好了 Ready, ready.
什么玩意儿 What's that?
好好演角色啊 Oh, I made it work.
我是个辣妈 I'm hot mom.
把她经纪人找来 Get me her agent.
开始之前 要不要吃点儿饼干 Before we begin, would either of you like some cookies,
牛奶或柠檬汁吗 milk, lemonade?
妈妈 咱们在这干吗 Mom, why are we here?
直奔主题 我喜欢 Ah. Cutting to the chase. I like it.
有件事要坦白一下 I have a confession to make.
你俩这出浓情戏码 让我彻夜难免 This whole dating drama has been keeping me up at night.
我不想当个刻薄又絮叨的妈妈 And I hate being the bitchy, naggy mom.
说到教育孩子 When it comes to parenting,
唱红脸儿让我舒服多了 I am much more comfortable playing the good cop.
你懂我的意思吧 孩子 You see where I'm going with this, kids?
不懂 No.
既然这样 Oh. Well, in that case...
有请唱白脸儿的 ...meet the bad cop.
爸爸 Daddy.
乖女儿 Hi, baby girl.
是这小子吗 Is that the guy?
没错 Yep.
搞定他 Get him.
这太不公平了 This is so unfair.
瞧瞧 你不听我话 Look, you defied my wishes,
又坏了规矩 you broke my rules.
你认为我会就这么认输吗 Did you think I was just gonna throw in the towel?
面对现实吧 我这叫智取 Face it. I outsmarted you.
谁是伊恩 Who's Ian?
什么 What?
你正在约会的某个叫伊恩的英国人 You're dating some British guy named Ian.
怎么说起这个来了 How did that come up?
对不起 我不知道这是大秘密 I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was a big secret.
当你说你和那个水管工是真心相爱的时候 When you said it was true love with you and the plumber,
我乖乖靠边站 并无干涉 I was a good guy. I stepped aside.
现在你又和别人 And now you're on to someone else.
卡尔 重点是 Big picture, Carl.
他把咱女儿都泡上了 His hand up our daughter's shirt.
不要转移话题 Don't change the subject.
这才是话题 That is the subject.
你和这个叫伊恩的有多认真 How serious is it with this Ian guy?
我不知道 事情很复杂 I don't know. It's complicated.
的确 他是有妇之夫 Yeah, he's kind of married.
他什么 He's what?
不是你想的那样 It's not what you think.
她的辩解是 他的妻子正在昏迷当中 In her defense, his wife is in a coma.
好吧 到此为止 All right, that's it，all right!
我禁止你再见这家伙 I forbid you to see this guy.
什么 不 我可不用听你发号施令 What? No. I don't take orders from you.
妈妈说得对 老爸 Mom has a point，Dad.
你不能限制一个女人和谁约会 You can't tell a woman who she can and can't date.
那是她的自由 It's her choice.
完全正确 谢谢 等下 不 Exactly.Thank you. Wait, no.
这可不包括你 That does not apply to you.
如果你不在乎我的感受 You know, if you don't care about my feelings,
那我很困惑我还来干啥 I don't know what I'm doing here.
你的感受 天哪 Your feelings? My God.
你是有史以来最差的白脸儿 You are the worst bad cop ever.
回你的房间去 Go to your room.
不是你 Not you.
回来 你被捕了 Get back, you're under arrest.
我没有 No, I'm not. Aah!
你已经看了好半天漫画书了 You've been reading comic books for awhile.
你不想去玩会儿吗 Don't you want to go and play?
不 我想和你呆在一起 No. I want to stay with you.
是吗 Yeah?
好吧 OK.
嘿 阿特 Hey, Art.
-嘿 你怎么样 -挺好 - Oh, hey. How are you? - Good
好像救我一命还不够 Um, listen, as if saving my life wasn't enough,
我还想请你帮个小忙 I have a little favor to ask.
好的 什么事 Sure. What's up?
我孩子们有心事 My kids are having a hard time.
他们被超市枪击事件吓坏了 They're freaked out by that whole supermarket thing.
你是我的人质 You're my hostage.
继续走 不然我崩了你 Keep moving or I'll blow your face off.
该到我了 把枪给我 OK, it's my turn. Give me the gun.
他俩没什么事 Not so much them.
是啊 Right.
不过我的另一个儿子 帕克 But my other son, Parker.
那么 说到帮忙 So... back to the favor.
帕克 Hey, Parker.
我想介绍你认识一下我们的新邻居阿特 I want you to meet our new neighbor Art.
他住在街对面 He lives in the house across the street.
他妹妹有辆很酷的带操纵杆的轮椅 His sister has the cool wheelchair with the joystick.
你好 帕克 Hey, there, Parker.
白天阿特在健身中心教游泳 In the daytime Art coaches swimming at the rec center.
但是 拜托 让我告诉帕克吧 But... Please, can I tell Parker?
求你了 Please?
暴漏我的秘密身份吗 And compromise my secret identity?
不行 斯加沃太太 绝对不行 No way, Mrs. Scavo. No way.
秘密身份 Secret identity?
这下好了 Oh, great.
秘密泄漏了 我们也得告诉他了 Now the cat's out of the bag. We might as well tell him.
没事的 你可以信任他 真的 It's OK. You can trust him, really.
阿特就是在超市里救我的那个人 Art is the one who saved me at the supermarket.
他是个超级英雄 He's sort of a superhero.
得了吧 Give me a break.
是真的 It's true.
好吧 如果你是超级英雄 All right. If you're a superhero,
那你叫什么 what's your name?
我叫 保护侠 I'm... Protector Man.
因为我保护人们免受坏蛋的伤害 Because I protect people from bad guys.
你不相信我 对吧 You don't believe me, do you?
好吧 OK.
我真的不应该这么做 但是 I really shouldn't do this, but...
你真的救了我妈妈吗 Wow. Did you really save my mom?
是真的 I really did.
他真的救了我 He really did.
所以你不用担心我了 That's why you don't have to worry.
那是保护侠的职责 That's Protector Man's job.
你要做的就是跑出去尽情地玩耍 Your job is to run and play and have fun.
懂了吗 OK?
懂了 OK.
好的 OK.
我堂兄去了普渡城 Oh. My cousin went to Purdue.
怎么回事 What the hell?
德尔非诺 Delfino.
很高兴看到你又能下地走动了 Nice to see you up and about.
这是我们的搜查令 Here's our search warrant.
搜查令 让我看看 Search warrant? Let me see that.
进展如何 How are we doing?
我们找不到工具箱 We couldn't find the toolbox.
他可是个水管工 继续找 The man's a plumber. Keep looking.
-长官 我没找到 -你累了吗 - Sir, I can't find the thing. - You tired...
-你跟我来 -玛莎拉 - You come with me. - Marcella!
我不知道他们是怎么跟你说的 I don't know what they told you,
我只不过是要求换个造型 but all I'm asking for is a simple costume change.
你不是主角 You don't get to pull diva crap.
棠雅不受惩罚是因为她是明星 Tanya gets away with it because she's a star.
而你什么都不是 You are nothing.
你凭什么对我这么说话 Where do you get off talking to me like that?
我20岁时就当了36回封面女郎 I shot 36 covers by the time I was 20.
但现在你已经30岁了 Well, you're 30 now.
你现在的表情看起来像35岁 When you make that face you look 35.
你知道有多少摄影师 Do you know how many photographers
抢着要给我摄影吗 would die to work with me again?
当然 一个也没有 Yeah. Zero.
我欠了好大的人情才给你弄到这份工作 I had to call in major favors just to get you this job.
-我才不信呢 -知道我不信什么吗 - I don't believe that. - Know what I don't believe?
你放弃了似锦的前程搬去郊区过家家 You gave up a brilliant career to play house in the suburbs.
希望破碎后又回来 The minute it falls apart you come back
还指望能重现往日的辉煌 expecting a homecoming parade.
你瞧瞧 亲爱的 今非昔比了 Well, guess what, sweetie? We've moved on.
现在把你的塑料屁股挪回去 Now, get your polyester ass over there
拿出点曾有的专业精神来 and act like the pro you used to be.
太美了 棠雅 就这样 笑一笑 Beautiful, Tanya. That's it, chin up.
好极了 当妈的 把盘子举高点 Fantastic. Mother, hold the plate higher.
太棒了 棠雅 你美极了 Beautiful, Tanya. Oh, you are gorgeous!
很好 漂亮 漂亮 Yes, girl. Lovely, lovely!
你好 麦克 欢迎回家 还记得我吗 Hi, Mike. Welcome home. You remember me?
应该记得吧 Yeah, I think so.
你是拐角处前门立着小矮人的那家 The corner house with all the gnomes out front?
你说的是玛莎·胡博家 非常可怕 You're thinking of Martha Huber. Terrible story.
她被人谋杀 埋在了树林里 Someone beat her to death and then buried her in the forest.
很讽刺吧 小矮人不就住在树林里吗 Ironic, huh? Isn't that where gnomes live?
我不太了解小矮人 I don't really know that much about gnomes.
言归正传 我知道警察之前来过 Anyway, I know the cops were here earlier.
然后呢 So?
你肯定不记得了 在两年前的某一夜 Well, you won't remember this, but one night, two years ago,
我心绞痛突发 是你开车送我去医院的 you drove me to the hospital after I had an attack of angina.
可以说救了我一命 Probably saved my life.
我觉得欠你一个人情 拿去 Anyway, I figure I owe you. Here.
你最好洗洗那个扳手 You might want to wash that wrench off.
上面有些东西 It's got something on it.
抱歉晚了 普雷斯克特太太弄坏了牙套 Sorry I'm late. Mrs. Prescott broke a crown...
奥森 气色不错呀 Orson, how well you look.
你好 母亲大人 Hello, Mother.
亲爱的 借一步说话 A word, darling.
难以相信你带她来了 I can't believe you did this!
我也不敢相信你跟我说她有老年痴呆 And I can't believe you told me that she was senile!
你对我撒了谎 You lied to me.
是的 为了免受她的折磨 Yes, to spare us the misery of her company.
你不了解 布里 她是个讨厌的巫婆 You don't know her, Bree. She's a loathsome woman.
我拒绝与她同桌进餐 I refuse to break bread with her.
你给我听着 Now you listen to me.
那个女人给了你生命 That woman gave you life.
第五戒律告诉我们要尊敬父母 The fifth commandment tells us to honor our parents,
无论他们多么可怕多么讨人厌 no matter how hideous or repellent they may be.
-其实那不是 -奥森 这是不言而喻的 - That's not exactly... - Orson, it's implied!
现在给我出去 对她尊重一些 Now, get out there and show her some respect.
好的 但除了必须的礼节外 Fine, but if you expect anything
若要我表现得更好 more from me than forced civility,
你肯定会失望至极的 you will be deeply disappointed.
-布里 三文鱼很美味 -谢谢夸奖 - Bree, the salmon is superb. - Well, thank you.
它的确让我在美食大赛上 It did win me the blue ribbon
拔得头筹 at the Gourmet County Cook-off.
尤其是酱汁 有什么秘诀吗 I just love the sauce. What gives it that kick?
永远别问魔术师变戏法的窍门 You'd never ask a magician how a trick is done.
亲爱的 你的三文鱼都没怎么动 You've barely touched your salmon, dear.
-没什么事吧 -没事 - Is everything OK? - Yes.
我只是一直在想 你来干嘛 I was just wondering why you're here.
-我想与你和睦相处 -好吧 - I want us to be friends. - OK.
就当我脑子进水 Let's suppose I just had a massive head injury
姑且信你 and believe you.
我们言和 你到底想要怎样 We're pals. What do you want?
奥森 为什么她一定别有用心 Orson. Why does she have to have an ulterior motive?
-我想离开那疗养院 -好戏开始了 - I want out of that home. - Ah, there it is.
那是地狱 而且我现在相当健康 It's a hellhole. Besides, I'm perfectly healthy now.
我的髋部好了很多 能上下楼梯了 My hip is better. I can handle the stairs.
而且你说过只要我恢复了 And you said when I got strong enough
我就能回家住 I'd get to go back to my house.
有个问题 Oh, here's the thing.
-我把房子卖了 -什么 - I sold it. - What?
你听到了 You heard me.
我的那些东西呢 What about my things?
全没了 连车都卖了 All gone. I also sold the car.
关于地狱 你要清楚一点 That's the thing about hellholes.
那不是白给你住的 They don't pay for themselves.
你竟敢如此 你没这个权力 How dare you! You had no right!
也许我可以分享一下我的秘方 OK. Maybe I will share my secret ingredient.
早知如此 我应该把你 I should have smothered you in your crib
掐死在襁褓中 when I had the chance.
揭晓秘密 是辣椒粉 Paprika! There, it's out.
这才是我熟悉的母亲 That's the mother I remember.
我一直在想她啥时露出狐狸尾巴 I was wondering when she'd show up.
没错 奥森 我是你母亲 Yes, Orson, I am your mother.
所以你比任何人都清楚 So you more than anyone should know
背叛我的下场 how I deal with betrayal.
那么 我们叫她奶奶吗 So... can we call her Grandma?
我再洗一筐衣服 然后就去做作业 I've got one more load, then I'm gonna do my homework.
有什么需要我一起洗的吗 You have anything you want me to throw in?
没什么了 谢谢 No, I'm good, thanks.
妈妈 听着 Mom, listen...
我知道我最近让你很伤心 真的很抱歉 I know I've put you through the wringer lately, and I'm sorry.
16年来你一直很完美 很不容易了 Sixteen years of being perfect. You were due.
所以我实在想不透 That's what I don't get.
你一直相信我的判断力的 You've always trusted my judgment.
为什么对于奥斯丁你就不能相信我呢 Why can't you trust me about Austin?
感情与判断力无关 Relationships have nothing to do with good judgment.
无论你多聪明 It doesn't matter how smart you are.
都免不了受伤 You can still get hurt.
你做作业吧 我去洗衣服 You do your homework. I'm gonna finish the laundry.
好的 OK.
上车吧 H太太 There you go, Mrs. H.
好啦 All right.
-能借用一下洗手间吗 -跟我来 - Can I use your bathroom? - Come on in.
谢谢 Thank you.
拜托 吃完甜品再走吧 Please stay for dessert.
我会做奥森的工作 我们一起好好商量 I'll work on Orson and we'll discuss this together.
你也听到他怎么说的了 You saw what he sentenced me to.
即使住下也无异于住在华丽的棺材里 A room no better than a furnished coffin.
我跟他没什么好说的了 I have nothing to say to him.
那跟我说 Well, then talk to me.
我知道你伤透了心 但别把我拒之门外 I know you're upset, but don't shut me out, please.
拜托 葛罗莉娅 向我敞开大门 Please, Gloria, let me in.
我不是字面的那个意思 不过好吧 Well, I didn't mean it literally, but OK.
我们坐在一起 好好聊聊 We'II, um, sit together and we'll talk.
你在干嘛 What are you doing?
我不要回到那个地方 I'm not going back to that place!
葛罗莉娅 停下 Gloria, stop!
走吧 把我母亲送回疗养院 Let's get my mother back to the home, shall we?
虽然不关我事 Yeah, not that it's any of my business,
但你们母子之间没事吧 but is everything OK with you folks?
是的 之前关系是有点紧张 Oh, yeah. There was a little tension earlier,
但都解决了 but it's all been resolved.
搞什么鬼 What the hell?
不行 我坚决反对 No. I absolutely forbid it.
就几周 我们找个能让她 Just for a few weeks till we find a place
更开心的地方 where she'll be happier.
你应该听听她在车上怎么说的 You should have heard her in the car.
她在那个疗养院里太可怜了 She's miserable in that nursing home.
我不管 除非她死了进棺材 I don't care. My mother's not moving in here
否则不许她搬进来 till she fits in a jar on the mantle.
你怎么能那么冷酷无情 How can you be so cold?
你不了解她 You don't know who she is.
我花了一辈子摆脱那个女人 I've worked my entire life to get away from that woman.
为什么 她到底做了什么 Why? What could she have possibly done
让你如此恨她 to make you hate her so much?
听着 追究过去也于事无补 Look, there is nothing to be gained by dredging up the past.
奥森 如果有什么我该知道的 Orson, if there's something I should know...
能和我儿子私下聊两句吗 Could I speak to my son a moment?
当然 Of course.
告诉你 So you know,
我决定接受你妻子善意的邀请 I've decided to accept your wife's kind invitation.
-我不会同意的 -我认为你会的 - I won't allow it. - Oh, I think you will.
我们现在要立刻休战 We're going to end our quarrel right now.
不然 我就把真相告诉她 Or I'll tell your wife what it's about.
-你不会的 -看我敢不敢 - You wouldn't. - Just try me.
你的生命是我给的 I gave you life.
我会毫不迟疑地夺走它 You know I won't hesitate to take it away.
现在吻你的母亲 Now, give Mother a kiss.
凭什么我要这么做 Why in the hell would I want to do that?
这样看起来真实 To make it look real.
你回来了 Hey! You're back!
我该拥抱你的 但我一身臭汗 I'd give you a hug, but I'm sweaty.
-纽约之行如何 -还不错 - How was New York? - It was fine.
布里说你第一天就开工了 真有明星范儿 Bree said you got a job on the first day. You're such a star.
详细讲讲 I want details.
你也知道的 就是穿得漂漂亮亮的 Oh! You know, just hours and hours of
整日整日摆造型 sitting around looking pretty.
我觉得模特这行我做够了 But I think I'm done with modeling.
那你不搬去纽约了吗 So you're not gonna move to New York?
如果有机会降临 我还是会飞过去的 Well, if something great comes up, I might fly out,
但我更想留在这里 but I'm pretty settled here.
谢天谢地 我们都担心要失去你了 Oh, thank God. We were all so worried we were losing you.
太好了 我要抱抱你 OK. Now I'm hugging you.
不可思议 你的人生好似一场冒险 Oh! It's amazing. Your life is such an adventure.
真等不及看你下一步是啥新花样 I can't wait to see what you do next.
是啊 我也想知道 Yeah. Me, too.
可以了 OK.
保护侠先生 Mr. Protector Man?
那是秘密 That's a secret.
有人吗 Hello?
太酷了 Ah, sweet.
妈 快瞧 Mom, look.
喂 别碰人家东西 我留个字条 Hey, don't touch anything. I'm just gonna write a note.
然后我们就走 Then we'll go. OK.
帕克 Parker?
喂 快回来 Hey, come back here.
亲爱的 快点 走啦 Honey? Come on, we're leaving.
帕克 Parker!
帕克 快点 我们走啦 Parker, come on, we're leaving.
我叫你 你怎么不吱声 Why didn't you come when I called?
超级英雄的家帅呆了 Superhero houses are great!
帕克 走啦 我们该走啦 Parker, come on. We're gonna get out of here.
-为什么 -听我的话 走吧 - Why? - I just said so. Come on.
有太多事我们希望能讲给孩子们听 There are so many things we wish we could tell the young.
我们想说服他们不要早熟 We'd like to persuade them not to grow up so fast.
但他们置之耳边 But they won't listen.
我们想告诉他们韶华易逝 We want to tell them that beauty fades.
亲爱的 就要这个表情 The look. Let's see the look, darling.
但他们毫无此念 But they refuse to believe it.
我们警告他们有因必有果 We warn them that their actions will have consequences.
但他们并不言听计从 But still, they defy us.
很不幸 孩子们无法明白 Sadly, the young can't begin to understand
这个世界危机四伏 the world is a dangerous place.
所以我们要尽自己所能保护他们 So it's up to us to do anything we can to protect them.
不惜一切代价 Absolutely anything.