《绝望的主妇》 前情提要 Previously on Desperate Housewives:
能否融入这个家对她意义重大 It means a lot to her to feel included.
有时山穷水尽 但总会柳暗花明 Sometimes dark clouds have silver linings.
他有意约我出去 He sort of asked me out.
如果我去赴约 你介意吗 It's OK with you if I go out with him?
但有时 柳暗花不明 Sometimes they don't.
一旦孩子出生 Once that baby comes,
为了抚养他 我就再无宁日 I'm gonna be stuck raising a child alone.
说到紫藤巷的生活... When it comes to life on Wisteria Lane...
嫁给我好吗 Will you marry me?
美妙得让人难以置信 things that seem too good to be true...
她知道你杀了自己的妻子吗 Did she know you killed your wife?
但通常都是... usually turn out...
趁你还活着 赶紧离开他 Get away from him now while you can.
金玉其外 败絮其中 to be deadly.
新娘都很敏感 Brides are sensitive creatures,
没有人比伴娘更清楚这一点 and no one knows this better
因为她们不得不笑脸陪场 than the bridesmaids who have to deal with them.
我觉得10英尺的裙拖很棒 Well,I think a 10-foot train is great,
但短一点的裙拖也不错 but a shorter one would be just as nice,
而且不用担心有人绊在上面 and you wouldn't have to worry about people tripping on it.
我个人比较喜欢熏兔 Personally, I love smoked rabbit,
但为了确保大家都满意 but for a sure crowd-pleaser,
鸡肉必不可少 you can't beat chicken.
好啊 谁不喜欢弦乐四重奏呢 Uh, sure. Who doesn't love a string quartet?
但如果你请支乐队 But if you got a band,
也许大家就能跳舞了 maybe people could dance,
而不只是扭两下 as opposed to sway.
但最需要伴娘圆滑处理的地方 But one area where a bridesmaid's tact
莫过于伴娘装 is most required involves the dress...
你们觉得怎么样 So what do you think?
由新娘指定的那套 she's required to wear.
我不知道以前有否看过此等青翠欲滴的颜色 I'm not sure that I've ever seen this shade of green before.
你们不觉得和婚宴色调搭配起来很华丽吗 Yeah. Don't you think it'll be gorgeous with my coloring?
是啊 看上去很棒 Yes, it would look perfect.
和你品位一致的人才觉得 For someone with your coloring.
能找到这几条裙子算我幸运 I mean I was lucky to find these,
在两周内举行婚礼并不容易 it's not easy putting a wedding together in two weeks.
你急什么呢 Then why the rush?
是啊 布里 我一直以为 Yeah, Bree, I'd have thought of you
你是个有计划的人 as a person who wants time to plan.
我和奥森讨论过这件事 Well, Orson and I talked about it,
我们都觉得这把年纪了 and we just feel at our age
再等下去就是犯傻 it's silly to wait.
有你们的帮助 我们就可以轻松搞定了 With your help, we can get it all done.
我们很愿意出力 Well, we are happy to pitch in.
这倒提醒我了 Oh, uh, that reminds me.
我得给你弄张座位表的复本 加布 I have to get a copy of the seating chart for you, Gabby.
你负责餐桌的中心摆饰 You are in charge of the centerpieces.
苏珊 我会找个活儿给你干的 And don't worry, Susan. I will think of a job for you.
我这有个活儿 Here's a job.
劝你放弃下嫁那个刽子手牙医怎么样 How about talking you out of marrying a homicidal dentist.
苏珊 我们并不确定 Susan, we don't know that!
现在只是某个疯女人指控他而已 All we have is some crazy woman's accusation.
他的妻子不见了 他都没告诉布里 His wife vanished and he didn't even tell Bree.
你还得需要多少证据 How much proof do you need?
他说他是无辜的 He says he's innocent.
她也相信他 She believes him.
如果我们表示怀疑 她会恨我们的 If we say we don't, she'll just end up hating us.
很抱歉 我无法坐在这儿穿着青柠袍子 Well, I'm sorry. I can not sit here on my key lime ass
看着布里做出她人生中最错误的决定 and watch Bree make the worst mistake of her life.
会是什么样的错误呢 And what mistake would that be?
老实说... Honestly...
没错 伴娘可以质疑 Yes, a bridesmaid can question
新娘的诸多选择 many of the bride's choices...
这几条裙子太难看了 these dresses are hideous.
但绝不可质疑新郎 but the groom isn't one of them.
这对完美夫妻 The perfect couple,
我们都见到过 不是吗 we've all met them, haven't we?
那对显而易见为彼此而造的新人 That man and woman so clearly made for each other,
我们觉得他们理应踏上幸福之路 we feel certain they're on the road to happiness.
不过那条路却千徊百转 But that road has many detours.
即使是完美情侣 也会发现自己 And even perfect couples can find themselves...
走到了尽头 at a dead end.
-你想要什么 -你都听见了 - You want what? - You heard me.
我还要卧室的立体音响 And I want the bedroom stereo,
我要大理石台桌 I want the marble console,
还有那幅圣奥古斯丁的画 and that painting of St. Augustine.
你都不知道他是谁 You don't even know who he is.
我知道他和窗帘很搭 I know he matches the drapes.
能说点正事儿吗 People, can we focus here?
我还想要回我的珍珠项链 And I want my pearl necklace back.
别以为我不知道你偷走了 Don't think I didn't notice that you swiped it.
那是我妈妈的 我姥姥传下来的 That was my Mama's and hers before her.
它属于我的家族 I think it belongs in my family.
你一度认为我也是你们家族的 There was a time that you thought I belonged in your family,
你把这事儿给忘了 and you got over that.
-别再吃我的炸薯了 -我饿了 - Stop eating my fries. - I'm hungry.
你知道医生说什么吗 You know what the doctor said.
你真应该看一下他的胆固醇含量 You should see his cholesterol.
他全身都是烘焙油脂 This man bleeds baking grease.
有完没完 Enough.
你们俩得学会相处 You two are gonna have to find a way to deal with each other.
因为你们的孩子即将在这世上降生 Because you are about to bring a child into this world,
一旦孩子出生 离婚与否 and divorced or not,once that child arrives,
你俩的余生都会紧紧相连 you will be bound together for as long as you live.
既然如此 再吃点炸薯吧 Well, in that case, have some more fries.
我周日来接凯拉的 I'll pick Kayla up on Sunday.
随时都行 尽管去吧 Whenever. Just go.
祝你和特克玩得愉快 You and Turk have a great time.
相信我 我们会的 Oh, trust me, we will.
那个男人就是一个打钻机 The man is a jackhammer.
-拜 汤姆 星期天见 -拜 - Bye, Tom. See ya Sunday. - Bye.
她要去哪 Where is she going?
她和特克要去河边度过周末 She and Turk are going down to the river for the weekend.
那就是特克 那就是她的新男友 不 That's Turk? That's the new boyfriend? Uh-uh, no.
汤姆 别插手 Hey, hey, hey, Tom, please.
我不想我女儿和那种人混在一起 I don't want my daughter hanging around with a guy like that.
你还没见过他呢 You haven't even met him.
他或许是这世上最贴心的男人 He could be the sweetest man in the world.
更重要的是 自从他出现 More importantly, ever since he entered the picture,
女魔头就灰飞烟灭了 squeaky Fromme is never around.
真是上帝保佑 It has been bliss.
我一个星期都没这么爽了 I haven't made this face in a week.
如果你毁了这事 有你好受的 If you ruin this, so help me, I will hurt you.
看看他 快看看他 Just look at him. Look at him, please.
我发誓 I swear,
那一定是挂在他后视镜上的小孩头骨 that is a child's skull hanging from his rearview mirror.
你都不担心吗 Doesn't that concern you?
不 我很放心 No, I'm good.
也可能是个猴子 Could be a monkey.
我就点... 什锦沙拉吧 Uh, I think I will have the... mesclun salad.
就这个 你就吃这些吗 That's it? That's all you're having?
全都好贵啊 Well, all the food is very expensive.
你不必悄声 You don't need to whisper.
服务生知道这是宰人呢 The waiter knows they're robbing us blind.
你随便点吧 You can have whatever you want.
那样的话 我要龙虾浓汤 In that case, I'll have the lobster bisque
还有黑松露小牛肉 and the veal with the black truffles.
这样可以吗 Is that okay?
很好 我会把简转移到弗吉尼亚医院的 Yeah, that's fine. I'll just have Jane moved to the VA hospital.
-我的天啊 -开玩笑的 没事啦 - Oh, my God. - I'm kidding. It's fine.
-我和她一样 -好的 谢谢 - I'll have what she's having. - Of course. Thank you.
天啊 我最爱看你笑了 God, I love seeing you laugh.
最近心情一直不太好 谢谢你 It's been a long time since I've been in the mood to. Thank you.
我的上帝 Oh, dear God.
是我握得太用力吗 Did I squeeze too hard?
不 我的岳父母来了 No. It's my wife's parents.
会很尴尬吗 Oh, is this gonna be awkward?
不 除非他们看见我们 No, no, no, not unless, of course, they see us.
-伊恩 -尴尬来了 - Ian? - Awkward.
杰夫 雷尼 太巧了 Jeff. Renee. What a delightful surprise.
很高兴见到你 亲爱的 It's so good to see you, dear.
你好 我是雷尼 Hello. I'm Renee,
这位是我的丈夫 杰夫 and this is my husband, Jeff.
-我是苏珊·梅尔 -医生 苏珊·梅尔医生 - Susan Mayer. - Doctor. Dr. Susan Mayer.
她刚加入神经科 为简治疗 She's new to Jane's neurology team.
我还以为你在伊恩的出版社工作呢 I just assumed you worked in Ian's publishing house.
是啊 如果是那样的话得多好啊 Well, yes, how nice that would have been, huh?
不不 我是一名脑科专家 But no, no. I'm a... a brain specialist.
那么 梅尔医生 也许我可以问一下 Well, Dr. Mayer, maybe I can ask you,
我们女儿近期的大部分脑电图显示出脑穗 our daughter's most recent EEG showed brain spikes,
不过这没有改变格拉斯哥昏迷量表上的值 but it didn't change the score on her Glasgow scale.
这是为什么呢 Why is that?
问得好 What an excellent question.
这里是脊髓 And this is the, uh... spinal cord.
当然 它和大脑相连 And it, of course, attaches to the brain.
你不用说得这么浅显 You don't have to dumb it down for us, doctor.
我们应付简的情况好几年了 We've been dealing with Jane's condition for years.
很好 Oh. Good.
那么 来些专业的吧 Well, then, let's get technical.
让梅尔医生今晚休息一下吧 Let's give Dr. Mayer the night off.
她今天做了一个10小时的手术 She was in surgery for ten hours today,
是开颅术 performing a craniotomy.
简不也正好接受该治法吗 怎么样 That's exactly the procedure Jane had. How'd it go?
好吧 就是 Uh, well, it just...
我听到我手机震动了 I hear my phone vibrating.
你好 我是梅尔医生 Hello. Dr. Mayer.
什么 你说他的脑死亡了 Yeah, what? You say that his brain shut off?
我马上就到 待命 Oh, well, I'll be right there. Um, stat.
很抱歉 公事缠身 I'm sorry. Duty calls.
奥森 我把家具搬开了 Orson, I moved the furniture back.
我的天啊 布里 不是又来了吧 Good Lord, Bree. Not again.
你不想我们的第一支舞跳得完美些吗 Don't you want our first dance to be perfect?
会有200个人盯着我们看的 There'll be 200 people staring at us.
布里 自从我们订婚宴上出意外后 You know, Bree, since that incident at our engagement party,
已经有许多人在我背后说坏话了 there's been a lot of dark talk about me.
我才不在乎流言蜚语呢 I don't pay attention to gossip.
我是指 如果你要 I'm just saying I would understand
重新考虑是否该嫁给我 if you'd a second thoughts about marrying a man
我可以理解 who's under a cloud.
任何人细想一番 No one who knows you
都不会相信你可能去伤害妇女的 could seriously believe you could hurt a woman.
人云亦云 真相我知 Strangers may talk, but I know the truth.
是吗 Really?
我以前受过男人欺骗 Men have lied to me before.
相信今后 他们再无得手的机会 Believe me, it'll never happen again.
就是说你完全信任我喽 So you trust me completely?
显而易见嘛 Clearly I do.
由于深埋于泥土 The body's unusually well-preserved
尸体保存完好 because it was buried in clay.
死因是什么 Do we have a cause of death?
头部遭受钝器击打所致 Blunt force trauma to the head.
检查所有失踪人口报告 Pull all the missing persons reports.
比对死者的身高 年龄以及体重 Cross-check against her height, age, and weight.
我正在进行DNA取样 I'm running a DNA panel,
因为我们无法核对她的牙齿记录 since we won't be able to use her dental records.
为什么 Why not?
罪犯拔掉了死者所有的牙齿 Whoever killed her pulled out all her teeth.
诺拉 你怎么回来了 你没事吧 Nora. What are you doing back? Are you OK?
-赶紧把门关上 -好 - Shut the door. - OK.
我不想被凯拉撞见 I don't want Kayla to find me like this.
-怎么回事 -特克跟我大吵一场 - What's wrong? - Turk and I had a fight.
什么 这怎么行 不行 What? No. No, no, no.
到底怎么回事 What happened?
怎么回事 特克是个混蛋 What happened is, Turk is an ass.
在去河边的路上 我们进了一间酒吧 On the way to the river, we stopped off at this bar.
在那里打了一会儿台球 Then we were playing pool
然后我就跟其中一个女招待吵起来了 and I got a little bitchy with one of the waitresses.
有什么大不了是吧 有什么了不起的 Who cares, right? I mean, who cares?
在酒吧吵个架 最平常了 不是吗 It's a bar, and we all do it, right?
是啊 Right.
然后 他要我嘴巴干净点 So, he tells me to watch my mouth,
而我 就感觉像是 and I'm like, whoa,
人渣居然跑来教我 get a load of Mr. Two Strikes trying to tell me
如何在公共场合言与行 how to act in public.
接着他居然骂我婊子 我们完了 And then he called me a whore. We're done.
好了 深呼吸 OK, whoa, whoa. Take a deep breath.
你总不能因为男友 You don't break up with a guy
无意一句粗话就跟他掰了吧 because in a weak moment he calls you a whore.
最后 我们从酒吧出来 And then on the way out,
他居然扬言要打我 he threatened to hit me.
但他没打你 除非 OK, but he didn't, and until he...
上帝 勒奈特 你到底帮谁啊 Oh, Jeez, Lynette. Whose side are you on?
我站在爱情这边 I'm on the side of love.
你俩简直天造地设 You guys seem like such a perfect couple.
-我知道 -我只是 - I know. - I just...
你总不会因为一次小小的口角 You don't wanna throw that all away
就结束这段感情吧 'cause of a little fight with no hitting.
不 我们完了 No. It's over.
我刚刚跟特克的假释官打了电话 I just got off the phone with Turk's parole officer
"猜猜谁离开了内华达州" I was like "Guess who ain't in Nevada no more?"
挂了 Click.
我想我得留在这里过夜了 I think I'm gonna have to stay here tonight.
不许动 Freeze!
-奥斯丁 -你好 伊迪姑姑 - Austin? - Hey, Aunt Edie.
总之 妈妈从牙买加旅行回来后 Anyway, Mom just got back from her cruise to Jamaica
不但隆了胸 还带了个24岁的客舱服务生 with new boobs and a 24-year-old cabin boy.
毫无疑问 我和那个递热毛巾的服务生 Needless to say, me and Mr. Can I Get You Some More Hot Towels?
处得不太好 we didn't exactly hit it off.
打断他的鼻梁后 After I broke his nose,
我就想 该去看望我心爱的姑姑了 I figured it was time to visit my favorite aunt.
你妈妈对男人总那么没品位 Your mom always did have lousy taste in men.
所以我深夜突然造访 So, I figured I'd crash here for the night,
然后搭便车去墨西哥 参加派对狂欢 then hitch down to Mexico, hang out, party.
可是 我想 没门 Yeah. I'm thinking, like, no way in hell.
你老老实实给我待在这里 Stay here with me
直到你妈妈肯原谅你为止 until things blow over with your mom, OK?
那好 谢谢你 Cool. Thanks.
等等 你有18岁了吧 Wait. You're 18, right?
我身份证上是这么写的 Well, that's what my ID says.
我年轻时也这么干 Yeah, mine too.
赶快回床躺下 You are supposed to be on bed rest.
我无聊透了 I'm bored.
那就试着穿条裤子 Well, why do you try putting on a pair of pants.
够你几小时忙乎的了 That should kill a couple of hours.
亲爱的 Hey, babe.
她怎么下床了 Hey, what is she doing out of bed?
这对胎儿不好 That can't be good for her.
对楼梯也不好 Or the stairs.
-你来干嘛 -调解人说得对 - What do you want? - The mediator was right.
几个月后 A month from now,
我们不单是卡洛斯和加布了 we're not just gonna be Carlos and Gabby,
我们将为人父母 we're gonna be Mom and Dad.
我可不想同我孩子的母亲树敌 And I don't wanna be at war with the mother of my child.
送给你 So, here.
你妈妈的珍珠项链吗 Your mama's pearls.
卡洛斯 Carlos.
-谢谢你 -还有呢 - Thank you. - And?
还有什么 And what?
你不表示一下吗 Wouldn't you like to make some reciprocal gesture?
那好 你可以出席布里的婚宴 Fine. You can come to Bree's wedding reception,
受我之邀 as my guest.
-谢谢 在哪举行 -这里 - Thanks. Where is it? - Here.
这里 你要在这举行婚宴吗 Here? You're throwing the reception?
这也是我们送给布里的结婚礼物 It's our wedding present to Bree.
我送你一件价值连城的传家之宝 I give you a priceless family heirloom,
然后你邀请我回自己家 参加一场 and in return you invite me to a party at my house
由我掏钱的宴会作为回报 that I'm paying for?
那你想要怎样的表示 Well, what kind of gesture did you have in mind?
为这首饰我才出卖色相的 The things I'll do for jewelry.
苏珊 非常抱歉 Susan, I am so sorry.
因为梅尔医生吗 Dr. Mayer?
我当时真慌神了 Panic. Pure panic.
我特意为首次约会道歉来了 Here. These are for ruining our first date.
别当着麦克的面啊 Not in front of Mike.
麦克 你瞧 伊恩给你送花来了 Look, Mike, Ian brought you flowers.
我马上把弄些水来插好 I'll just go put them in some water.
我当时只是想保护简的双亲 Look, I was just trying to protect Jane's parents.
别 Oh, please...
他们还无法接受 They haven't accepted the fact that
简永远也不会醒来的事实 Jane isn't going to wake up.
如果他们知道我们在约会 If they knew we were on a date,
就表明我展开新恋情了 that I was trying to move on,
那他们肯定会崩溃的 well, it would devastate them.
理由很感人 不过貌似你没全盘托出啊 A lovely excuse, but it isn't the whole story.
什么 Excuse me?
你些许也感觉自己背叛了她 A part of you feels like you're cheating on her.
才没有 No.
的确 是有一点 但也不能说明 Well, perhaps a small part, but that doesn't mean...
这没什么 因为我也身怀愧疚 It's all right, 'cause I feel guilty, too.
所以我们才应该赶紧刹车 That's why we should just stop this right now
一切都太复杂了 because it's all way too complicated.
我想我们还是重新做回朋友吧 I think we'd both be happier
这对我们大家都好 if we just went back to being friends.
我做不到 Well, I don't think I can do that.
事实上 我已无法 The truth is, I haven't thought of you
把你视为朋友了 as just a friend for some time now.
也许我不该任由自己的情感泛滥 Maybe I shouldn't have let myself feel that way,
但事与愿违 but I have.
抱歉 我回不到从前了 And I can't go back. I'm sorry.
既然我们成不了朋友 Well, if we can't be friends...
那只能形同路人了 ...then I guess we'll be nothing.
喂 别瞎弄 Hey, leave that alone.
抱歉 我只是想 Sorry. I was just...
把声音打小点 ...turning it down.
-你不喜欢音乐吗 -当然喜欢 - You're not a music fan? - Sure.
只是对这种风格的不大感冒 It's just, got anything where a pimp isn't beating his ho?
我叫奥斯丁 是伊迪·布利特的外甥 I'm Austin, Edie Britt's nephew.
我叫朱莉 是苏珊·梅尔的女儿 I'm Julie. Susan Mayer's daughter.
我刚刚正在做作业 所以 Anyway, I was trying to do my homework, so...
周六也有作业啊 On a Saturday?
那你可得定期休息 Well, make sure and take regular breaks
注意正常饮食 and stop for a sensible dinner.
麻烦你把声音调小一点 Just keep it down.
实在有点震耳欲聋 You had it really loud.
我就喜欢这范儿 That's how I like it.
你不喜欢吗 How do you like it?
知道吗 你没那么火辣 You know what? You're not that hot.
你干嘛呢 Hey, what you doing?
画布里婚宴的座位表 I'm working on the seating chart for Bree's wedding.
-诺拉 谁邀请她的 -我 - Nora? Who invited her? - I did.
我们得帮她找个新男友 We need to find her another boyfriend.
婚宴上总混杂着好多单身汉 Weddings are crawling with single men.
你没把她安排在我朋友堆里吧 You're not seating her next to my friends?
我们不得不牺牲少数人 汤姆 Sacrifices must be made, Tom.
可也不是杰瑞·罗林斯吧 Not Jerry Rawlings.
要是她对杰瑞·罗林斯发疯 If she gets her psycho hooks into Jerry Rawlings,
那他肯定再也不理我了 he will never speak to me again.
又不是只有他一个泌尿科医生 There are other urologists in the world.
你再另寻高人呗 Go back to that other guy.
那个机灵鬼吗 The one with the cold hands?
一年一次 忍忍就过去了 It's once a year. Suck it up.
理智点 勒奈特 Get a grip, Lynette.
理智 我原本生活得好好的 Get a grip?I am hanging on for dear life here.
是你把这个小麻烦 You are the one that brought this
领进家门 little problem into our family,
而我却只听到你的一句 and the only thing I should be hearing from you is,
"我能帮上什么忙" "How can I help?"
我准备把史蒂夫·汉森也安置到她那桌 I am also putting Steve Hanson at her table,
事成之后你就另觅高尔夫球友吧 so you might wanna start shopping around for a new golf buddy.
理智点 Get a grip.
我叫苏珊·梅尔 Hi. My name's Susan Mayer.
你邻居告诉我可以在这找到你 Your neighbor told me I could find you here.
是吗 Yeah?
我当时在我朋友布里的订婚宴上 Well, I was at my friend Bree's engagement party,
上次你径直闯进 you know, when you came in and
说了一堆"奥森谋杀了他的妻子"之类的话 you did that whole "Orson killed his wife" thing.
我希望你能跟我说说具体情况 I was just wondering if you could elaborate.
他杀了她 He killed her.
你还想知道什么 What else do you need to know?
那么 你凭什么如此确定 Well, what makes you so sure?
有什么证据吗 Do you have any proof?
我现在不方便谈这个 Look, I can't talk now.
我六点钟才下班 I get off at six.
求求你 我朋友再过两小时就要嫁给他了 My friend is marrying that man in two hours. Please.
好的 帮我换10美元零钱 OK, I need ten dollars in unrolled pennies,
当着我面点清楚 and I need to see you count it
上次你少给了 because last time you stiffed me.
阿尔玛消失后 After Alma disappeared,
警方搜查了奥森家 the police came and searched the house.
警方 他们发现什么了吗 The police? What did they find?
一无所获 Nothing.
-这也算坏事吗 -你怎么不明白呢 - And that's bad why? - Don't you get it?
等到警方出现时 When the police showed up,
奥森早已用漂白剂洗净了所有角落 Orson had scrubbed every inch clean with bleach.
没发现指纹 No fingerprints,
没有皮屑 找不到DNA no skin cells, no DNA.
仿佛阿尔玛从未存在过 It was like Alma had never existed.
把家里如此清洗 Who cleans a house like that
一定是为了消灭罪证 unless he has something to hide?
我离开银行以后 When I left the bank,
联系了调查此案的警探 I called the detective that worked the case.
他说 奥森没有被捕的唯一原因 He said that the only reason Orson was never charged
是警方从未发现尸体 was because they never found a body.
所以 他是个嫌疑犯 So he was an actual suspect?
他是唯一的嫌疑犯 He was the only suspect.
天哪 我们该怎么办呢 Oh my god! What are we gonna do?
你们知道该怎么办 Well, you know what we have to do.
婚礼快开始了 That was close.
花匠居然在我的花束里放了三朵菊花 The florist put three mums in my bridal bouquet,
不过别担心 but not to worry,
及时处理了 crisis averted.
布里 我们得谈谈 Bree, we have to talk.
牧师先生 新娘和伴娘们忙活啥呢 Ah, Reverend. Any word from the bridal party?
还待在新娘的房间里 女人嘛 Still in the bride's room. You know women.
估计还在忙着刷睫毛和打腮红呢 They're probably fussing about mascara and blush.
他绝没把她碎尸 更不会用药水毁尸灭迹 He did not hack her up and dissolve the pieces in acid.
我说了这只是假设 I said it was a theory.
阿尔玛的失踪非常可疑 Alma disappeared under suspicious circumstances.
我没空奉陪了 到时间结婚了 I don't have time. I'm getting married.
今天你是主人 你可以把仪式推迟一小时 This is your day. You can push the ceremony back an hour.
现在 先给警探打个电话 Now, get that detective on the phone.
和奥森开诚布公地谈谈 Talk things out with Orson.
我不能找奥森谈话 新郎在婚礼之前 I can't talk to Orson. It's bad luck for the groom
见新娘是不吉利的 to see the bride before the wedding.
你知道什么是更不吉利的吗 You know what's really bad luck?
嫁给一个杀妻犯 Marrying a wife-killer.
你们三个再揪着这个话题不放 If the three of you don't drop this right now,
我永远不会原谅你们 I will never forgive you.
布里 我们这么做是因为爱你 Bree, we are just doing this because we love you.
不过 你是否能诚心诚意地 But if you can honestly tell us
说你从未对此有过一丝怀疑... that you don't have the slightest doubt...
完全没有 None whatsoever.
亲爱的教友们 我们以上帝之名相聚此处 Dearly beloved, we are gathered together in the sight of God
参加这对夫妇神圣的婚礼... to join this man and woman in holy...
抱歉 我们能单独说两句吗 Excuse me. Could you give us just a second?
-有什么不对的吗 -失陪一下 - Is something wrong? - I just need a moment.
在我们宣誓以前 我有话要问你 Before we do this, there's something I need to ask you.
什么 What?
你是否杀了你的妻子 Did you kill your wife?
苏珊和那个叫卡洛琳的女人聊过了 Susan talked to that Carolyn woman.
你为什么对我隐瞒警察搜查过你家的事 Why didn't you tell me the police searched your house?
因为这说出来很尴尬 Because it's embarrassing.
况且他们什么证据也没发现 And they didn't find anything.
是不是因为你清洗过屋子的缘故 Is that because you scrubbed the house so thoroughly?
我清扫是为了发泄 When I'm upset, I clean.
看在上帝的份儿上 布里 For God's sake, Bree,
我发誓 我没有杀我的妻子 I swear to you, I did not kill my wife.
好 OK.
继续吧 Proceed.
亲爱的教友们 Dearly beloved,
我们以上帝之名相聚此处 we are gathered here together in the sight of God
参加这对夫妇神圣的婚礼 to join this man and woman in holy matrimony,
让人倍感荣幸... which is an honorable estate...
瞧你 人气天后啊 Hey. Look at you, Miss Popular.
那桌好玩吗 So, are you having a good time over there?
好得不行 天知道哪个白痴把我安排在那桌 As if. And I don't know what idiot stuck me at that table,
那桌的男生个个都无聊透顶 but every guy over there is just a boring stiff.
所有人吗 杰瑞怎么样 杰瑞挺风趣的 All of them? What about Jerry? Jerry's fun.
你是说那个胖胖子弹头吗 You mean Mr. Fatty Hair Plugs?
是啊 他是朵奇葩 Yeah, he's a blast.
那史蒂夫呢 How about Steve?
你知道吗 我听说他家很有钱 You know what, I hear his family has money.
这样啊 他们家真该凑钱 Well, then maybe they could all chip in
给他买一堆除臭剂 and buy him some deodorant.
我受够了那些蹩脚货 I'm through with those losers.
我要和你待在一起 I'm gonna stay right here with you.
你要吃这个吗 Are you gonna eat that?
-你瞧瞧你 -上帝 我最讨厌穿燕尾服了 - Hey, look at you. - God, I hate wearing a tux.
我过来的路上 On my way in,
布里的姑姑弗恩叫我帮她泊车 Bree's Aunt Fern asked me to park the car.
她有青光眼 She's got glaucoma.
对她而言你只是一团模糊的西班牙人影 To her, you're nothing but a Hispanic blur.
我帮你理下领结 Let me fix your tie.
你带了妈妈的珍珠项链 Hey, you're wearing Mama's pearls.
是啊 Yeah.
朱莉 你见过我的侄子奥斯丁吗 Hey, Julie. Have you met my nephew Austin?
见过的 他穿了衬衫我还真没认出来 Yeah, we've met. I just didn't recognize him with his shirt on.
上次她老是盯着我的腹肌看 She couldn't take her eyes off my abs.
看得我不舒服 I felt violated.
-伊迪 派对不错吧 -就那样了 - Hi, Edie. Nice party, huh? - It was.
完美无比 Perfect.
看到你们在一起我真高兴 It's nice to see you two getting along again.
我们的关系正处在某种转折点 We've sort of turned a corner.
真的吗 你们会和好吗 Really? You're gonna be getting back together?
-才不会 -可能会 - God, no. - Maybe.
有大虾 Wow, is that shrimp?
你凭什么认为 What would make you think
我会和你和好 I'd even consider taking you back?
你请我当你的男伴 You invited me to be your date.
客人 卡洛斯 你只是个客人 Guest, Carlos. I said guest.
得了吧 我一进门你就一直和我调情 Come on. You've been flirting with me since I came in.
"宝贝 我帮你理下领结" "Baby, let me fix your tie."
你就是在发射暧昧信号 You sure are sending some mixed signals.
你想要个明确信号吗 这个如何 You want a clear signal? How's this?
-伊恩 -苏珊 - Ian. - Susan.
你在这干什么 What are you doing here?
我表姐是霍吉先生的牙医 My cousin is Dr. Hodge's dental hygienist.
她丈夫被脓疱病放倒了 Her husband couldn't join her,
参加不了婚礼 since he'd come down with impetigo.
她就打电话叫我来 She called me,
因为她知道我喜欢看抛吊袜带... knowing how much I love a good garter toss...
伊恩... Ian...
好吧 我连说谎都不会 Yes, I'm such a terrible liar.
脓疱病 亏我说的出口 I mean, impetigo. Where did that come from?
你到这来究竟是干什么的 So, what are you really doing here?
听着 我无法停止思考我们的事 Look, I can't stop thinking about us,
我们要是在一起 那该多好 about how great we could be together.
-我觉得你错了 -伊恩... - I think you're making a mistake. - Ian...
苏珊 别走好吗 至少和我谈谈好吗 Susan, please don't go. Can't we at least talk about this?
不行 我有伴娘的工作要做 I can't, 'cause I have bridesmaid stuff.
你好 我觉得你表现的真不错 塔德 Hi there. I just wanted to say you're doing a great job... Tad.
这名字真有阳刚气 That's such a masculine name.
我男朋友也很喜欢 My boyfriend seems to like it.
好吧 帮我个忙 OK, here's the drill.
我想气气我前夫 My ex is here, I wanna piss him off,
你假装对我欲火中烧 so act like you're hot for me.
这是100美元小费 There's a hundred-buck tip in it.
好吧 我该摸你的胸吗 Right. So, should I cup your boob?
不 我来就好 No, I'll drive.
纯龙舌兰 Tequila. Straight.
劳驾 请问这里有没有正经的单身女性 Hey, are there any decent single women at this wedding?
至少我没发现 Not that I've seen.
该死 一个都没有 Damn it, not a one.
卡洛斯 你该来我们桌坐坐 Hey, Carlos. You should come over to our table.
辣妹们都在那儿 That's where all the hotties are.
各位 我提议大家欢迎 Hey, everyone. I'd say it is time that we get
布里和奥森夫妇上台 Bree and Orson up here
为我们献上婚后的第一支舞 for their first dance as a married couple.
女士们先生们 有请奥森·霍吉夫妇 Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Mr. and Mrs. Orson Hodge.
奥森 你看起来好严肃 Orson, you look so serious.
我在努力回忆舞步 I'm trying to remember my steps.
你在难过对吧 You're upset, aren't you?
你还想着我在教堂说的话 You're still thinking about what I said at the church.
亲爱的 你指哪一句 Which part, darling?
是"我愿意" 还是"你是否杀了你的妻子" The "I do" part or the "Did you kill your wife?" part?
我很抱歉 但我必须问清楚 I'm sorry, but I had to ask.
这就是重点 你必须问清楚 That's my point. You had to ask.
你这么做 当心下地狱 You are gonna rot in hell for this.
我不过是让两个孤单的灵魂相遇 Hey, I just brought two lost souls together.
这么说如何 他背叛了我的朋友 OK, how about this? He cheated on my friend.
让他受受这娘们的火爆 He deserves every bit of crazy
是他应得的 she's gonna rain down on him.
你会下地狱的 Hell, rot, you.
他们在干嘛 What are they doing?
第二轮刚战罢 第三轮当伊始 Rounding second and heading for third.
-卡洛斯 -加布 瞧 我交了个新朋友 - Carlos. - Hey, Gabby. Look, I made a new friend.
是啊 我亲眼目睹了你的交友过程 Yes, I've been watching you make your new friend,
恶心死我了 and it's disgusting.
不至于吧 我们就跳支舞 Do you mind? We're trying to dance.
你到底是谁 Who the hell are you, anyway?
还有 你来参加婚礼作甚 And why the hell are you at this wedding?
大事不妙啊 This is not gonna end well.
他们不过在婚礼上偶然相遇 They're just two random people who met at a wedding.
这事怨不了我 They can't pin it on me.
就是她 It was her.
勒奈特·斯加沃 我要和你谈谈 Lynette Scavo, I wanna talk to you.
我们回家见 I'll see you at home.
你想什么呢 我不是叫你来 What're you thinking? I didn't invite you here
在我朋友面前出我丑的 to embarrass me in front of my friends.
那你邀请我来参观 You just wanted me to watch
你舌吻未成年服务生吗 while you suck the zits off some teenage waiter.
我受够了 我收回我的邀请 That's it. I take my invitation back.
我的家不再欢迎你了 You are no longer welcome in my house.
我走就是了 Fine. I'll go.
把珍珠项链还给我 Just give me back the pearls.
-不行 -加布 - No! - Gabby.
-卡洛斯 你敢 -这是我母亲的 - Carlos, no. - They were Mama's.
不 No!
看看你干的好事 Now look what you've done.
-索利斯太太 -不行 卡洛斯 - Mrs. Solis. - No, Carlos.
-这是我的 -是我的 - Give me that. - Give me those.
抱歉 借过一下 Pardon me, excuse me.
滚开 这些都是我的 Get away. Those are mine.
-才不是呢 -索利斯太太 - The hell they are. - Mrs. Solis.
-我忙着呢 小梅 -索利斯太太 - Not now, Xiao Mei. - Mrs. Solis!
看在上帝的份上 怎么啦 For God's sakes, what?
我觉得要生了 I think maybe it's time.
我祝愿你俩永远幸福美满 And I wish you both a lifetime of happiness.
说得真好 谢谢你 弗恩姑姑 That was beautiful, Aunt Fern. Thank you.
他们已经把羊水擦干净了 Hey, they mopped up all the amniotic fluid,
我们可以安全地跳康加舞了 so we should feel safe to start the conga line.
事实上 我想说两句 Actually, I'd like to say a few words.
布里 奥森 Bree, Orson,
你们的爱情启发了我们所有人 your love is an inspiration to us all.
说得真好 你怎么认识他的 That's very sweet. How do you know him?
我以为他是你那边的人 I thought he was on your side.
对于你俩来说 这次都是二婚 This is a second wedding for both of you,
我觉得你们真的很勇敢 and I think you're jolly brave.
通常人们总是找借口拒绝再次恋爱 So often people find excuses not to fall in love again.
那是他们胆怯 They're afraid.
但其实很难遇到一个与你心灵相通的人 But it's rare to find somebody that you connect with,
因此一旦缘分到了 应该跟着感觉走 so when you do, you have to follow your heart.
布里 奥森 我敬你们 Bree, Orson, I salute you.
好了 音乐响起来 Let's get the music cranking, and...
汤姆 可以再等一下吗 Actually, Tom, could you just hang on a second?
我也要讲几句话 I also would like to say a few words.
送给布里和奥森 To Bree and Orson.
的确 有什么比再次陷入爱河更美好呢 Yes, what could be better than a second love?
而此时的你 更为成熟睿智 And this time, you enter into it a little older, a little wiser.
但关键是变得很小心翼翼 But also, and this is key, with a bit of caution.
因为爱情不仅是自然而美妙的 Because while love can be spontaneous and wonderful,
但它同样也是自私的 it can also be selfish,
有时 你最好的选择 and sometimes the best thing you can do
是放手离开 is just to walk away.
不是说你俩 Uh... not you two.
我是说 你俩的结合是天赐良缘 I mean, you two crazy kids are great.
敬你们 Congrats.
那让我们 Well, then, let's...
等等 我想对刚才的祝酒词做个回应 Hang on. I'd like to respond to that toast.
布里 奥森 Bree, Orson,
有时离开看似是最佳选择 sometimes walking away can seem the best choice,
这绝对是最安全的 但是 it's certainly the safest, but
当你以为快乐不会再度降临时 what do you do when you find someone who makes you
如果遇到了能让你快乐的人 你会怎样 feel joy when you thought you never would again?
你会放手让他们走吗 Do you just let them go?
不会 No.
不 我做不到 No, I can't do that.
你想要 You wanna...?
不了 No.
我没什么说的了 I'm good.
那好 开始跳舞吧 All right, then, let's dance.
我带了点衣服给你换 Well, I thought you might need a change of clothes.
你还在生我的气吗 Yeah, you're still mad at me, huh?
你是怎么想的 What were you thinking?
把卡洛斯介绍给那个贱人 Setting Carlos up with that skank.
对不起 我太绝望了 I am sorry. I was desperate.
我刚才喝得有点多 I had a little too much to drink.
而且你在和卡洛斯办离婚 And you are divorcing Carlos.
勒内特 卡洛斯永远是另当别论的 No, Lynette, Carlos will never be fair game.
你知道这个规则的 You know the rules.
你是对的 你是对的 你是对的 You're right. You are right. You're right.
我真的很抱歉 I'm so sorry.
只是 It's just...
怎么了 What?
我太郁闷了 I'm so unhappy.
自从那个女人搅进我们的生活 Ever since that woman pushed her way into our lives,
我甚至无法强颜欢笑 I can't even work up a smile.
她越是胡搅蛮缠 我越是迁怒于汤姆 And the more she pushes, the more I resent Tom.
汤姆 就因为他12年前的一夜风流 Tom, for something he did 12 years ago.
我害怕我无法理顺这个 And I'm afraid if I can't fix this
我的怒火会愈演愈烈的 直至 that the anger's just gonna fester, until...
勒奈特 听我说 Lynette, listen to me.
你和汤姆会熬过去的 You and Tom will survive this.
不 我是认真的 加比 No, seriously, Gabby.
我厌倦了整天强颜欢笑 I am so tired of pretending to smile.
你和汤姆会熬过去的 You and Tom will survive this.
是吗 你为什么那么肯定 Yeah? How can you be so sure?
因为有些婚姻注定要天长地久 Because some marriages were built to last.
有些却不是 And some aren't.
相信我 我知道两者的区别所在 Trust me, I know the difference.
我要见布里·范德坎普 I'm looking for Bree Van de Kamp.
我失陪一下 Could you excuse me for just a minute?
奥森 恭喜你 Orson, congratulations.
打扰了 你是布里·范德坎普 Excuse me. Are you Mrs. Van de Kamp?
我现在姓霍吉 It's Hodge now.
我非常抱歉在这种场合冒昧登门 Yes, I'm terribly sorry to barge in like this,
但我们需要你丈夫去一趟停尸房 but we need your husband to come down to the morgue.
他妻子的尸体可能找到了 We may have found his wife's body.
用力 小梅 用力 Push, Xiao Mei, push.
好了 现在深呼吸 OK, OK. Deep breaths now.
就快出来了 We're getting close.
终于等到这一刻了 我真不敢相信 It's time. I can't believe this is happening.
亲爱的 我要哭了 Honey, I'm gonna cry.
-卡洛斯 我很抱歉 -我也是 - Carlos, I am so sorry about the... - Me too, me too.
-我做得太出格了 -我原谅你 - I was way out of line. - I forgive you.
经历了这么美妙的时刻 一切都值得了 It's worth it when you experience a moment as beautiful as this.
我看到头了 OK, I can see the head now.
快拿摄像机 快拍下来 Get the camera. Get the camera.
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
老天 我真该修修这画面的颜色了 Man, I gotta get the color fixed on this thing.
怎么会发生这种事情 How could this happen?
你们是哪门子不入流的诊所 What kind of half-assed fertility clinic are you running?
在胚胎植入前 Prior to implantation,
你们的受精卵与另一对顾客的搞混了 your embryo was switched with another client's.
这么说我们得到他们孩子 So if we got theirs and
他们有我们的孩子 那有可能 they got ours, then it's possible...
很遗憾 你们的受精卵没有培育成功 I'm afraid your embryo didn't take.
我再次代表诊所向你们致歉 Again, on behalf of the clinic, I am so sorry.
这种情况很少见 但世事难料 It's rare, but things do happen.
打断一下 Excuse me.
你毁了我们的一切 结果你就只能说 You screw up our lives and the best you can do is,
"天有不测风云" "That's the way the cookie crumbles"?
那家伙干嘛把我的话都记下来 Why is this guy writing down everything I say?
达比先生是我们的律师代理 Mr. Darby, our attorney.
我们觉得请他在场是明智之选 We thought it wise to have him present.
你知道还有什么明智之选吗 Know what else would've been wise?
把孩子塞回该去的肚子里 Sticking the right baby in the right belly.
索利斯太太 请别 Mrs. Solis, please...
这不是阿尔玛 That's not Alma.
-你确定吗 -绝对不是 谢天谢地 - Are you sure? - Absolutely. Thank God.
卡洛琳 她来干什么 Carolyn. What is she doing here?
你不会真以为 You didn't honestly think
他们会相信你的话吧 they'd take your word for it, did you?
这不是她 It's not her.
那可以了 抱歉浪费了你们的时间 Well, that's it, then. Sorry for wasting your time.
这证明不了什么 This means nothing.
我告诉你 这个人罪孽深重 I'm telling you, that man is as guilty as sin.
我们知道你是怎么想的 We know what you think.
请你不要再纠缠我们了 Now, would you please leave us alone?
他是个冷血杀手 He's a cold-blooded killer.
他是个和蔼正直之人 He's kind and decent,
无论你怎么说 我都不会再怀疑他了 and nothing you could say will make me doubt him again.
请走吧 Now, please go.
-你俩真是天生一对 -我希望如此 - You deserve him. - I hope,too.
亲爱的 真的很抱歉让你经受这种事 Darling, I am so sorry you had to endure that.
你还好吗 Are you all right?
我没事 我们快回去招呼宾客吧 I'm fine. Let's just go back to our guests
就当什么都没发生过 and forget this ever happened.
好的 All right.
莫妮可 很想念你[法语] Tu me manques, Monique.
那么 Well...
好的 Yeah.
我觉得很... I feel so...
我也是 Me, too.
但还有个好消息 Well, you know what the good news is?
什么 What's that?
现在没有孩子了 Now that there's no baby,
离婚会简单得多 it'll make the divorce a lot simpler.
的确如此 Yeah, that's something.
那么 So...
调解律师那儿见 See you at the mediator's.
到时见 See you then.
你遇到过美满无瑕的夫妻吗 Have you met the perfect couple?
他们是感情永不磨灭的灵魂之伴 The two soul mates whose love never dies?
是从不经受情感危机的爱人 The two lovers whose relationship is never threatened?
还是彼此信任无疑的夫妇 The husband and wife who trust each other completely?
如果你从未遇到过完美的情侣 If you haven't met the perfect couple,
恕我为你引荐一对儿 let me introduce you.
他们就站在鲜奶蛋糕的顶层 They stand atop a layer of butter cream frosting.
他们成功的秘诀是什么呢 The secret of their success?
自最伊始 Well, for starters,
他们就从不正视对方 they don't have to look at each other.