MAX 原创剧集
蕾登莫瑞
你是不是收到神秘信封 没打开就丢一边了 Did you just get a mysterious envelope and casually toss it aside without even opening it?
-嗯 嗯 -妈呀 你超酷的 - Mm-hmm. - F**k, you're cool.
我知道里面是什么 Okay, I already know what's inside.
是卡帕会邀我去 今天下午的迎新早午餐会 It's my invite to Kappa's pre-rush brunch later this afternoon.
你怎么知道 How can you be sure?
因为身为未来的卡帕会成员 我知道她们在想什么 Because as a future Kappa, I know how Kappas think.
而且我在文学专题讨论时 听到两个女生说 And I also might've heard two girls in my Lit seminar
信封颜色是 米克诺斯天空蓝 talking about the envelope color. "Mykonos sky blue."
有意思因为我觉得比较 像是音速小子的蓝色 Interesting. I think of it as more of a "Sonic the Hedgehog" blue.
等等 卡帕会也邀请你了 Wait, Kappa invited you, too?
对 我昨晚收到邀请函了 Sure did. Got it last night.
怎么 你很意外吗 What? Are you surprised?
当然 你穿球鞋配洋装耶 Of course, I'm surprised. You wear sneakers with dresses.
蕾登 我把告诉惠妮的话 再跟你说一遍 Leighton, I'm gonna tell you what I told Whitney.
姐妹会向来有这种 挑拨女性的排他性行为 That sororities have a long history of exclusionary behavior that promote this kind of woman-on-woman warfare.
所以我拒绝加入任何姐妹会 And that's why I will be abstaining from Greek life.
没错 有同感 你说得太有道理了 Yeah, absolutely. Preach. I'm totally on the same page.
- 你收到信封了 - 没有 - Did you get an envelope? - No, I did not.
我也是 Me neither.
大学女生的性生活
第一季 第 4 集
我可以多管闲事 提出对你造型的意见吗 Hey, can I give you some unsolicited feedback on what you're wearing?
求之不得 我最喜欢别人多管闲事了 Oh, my God, of course. I love when people do that.
卡帕会是校园中最尊荣的姐妹会 It's just Kappa is the most exclusive sorority on campus.
新生早午餐是你融入大家的第一个机会 And this rush brunch is your first opportunity to show them that you fit in.
我穿的是鞋球和牛仔裤 有什么不对吗 Okay, so what's wrong with what I'm wearing? It's jeans and sneakers.
很可爱 穿去买菜不错 And that is such a cute outfit for, like, grocery shopping.
现在回家换还来得及 I'm just saying there's still time to run home and change.
天啊 也许该换衣服的人是你 Oh, my God. Maybe you should change.
我很美 你看起来像百货公司卖香水的柜姐 I look good. You look like the perfume lady at Bloomingdale's.
这话实在太恶毒了 That is the meanest thing you could've said to me.
我只是觉得你想太多了 I just... I think you're overthinking it.
邀请函只说着休闲服装 The invite said to "dress casual."
这是卡帕会对休闲的定义 This is what Kappa means by "casual."
很有逃出绝命镇的感觉 Yeah, this is some Get Out shit right here.
吉老师我觉得你该 放‥放轻松 Hey, Mr. G I think you need to chugga... chugga chill out.
很好笑吧 That's so funny, right?
我超爱他的口头禅 放‥放轻松 I love that catchphrase. "Chugga, chugga, chill out."
不对 这段短剧讲的是口头禅很逊 No, the sketch is about how catchphrases are lame.
听到放‥放轻松 不会有人笑的 No one would actually laugh at someone saying "Chugga, chugga, chill out.
当我没说 这个丹尼马拉维兹 是喜剧界传奇人物 Forget it. Look, this guy, Danny Marawitz, he's a comedy legend.
他也是卡特兰出身的 He's also a Catullan alum
他会参加今晚盛大的校友晚宴 and he's going to be at this big alumni dinner they're throwing tonight.
我要跟他聊天 说服他收我为徒 I want to chat him up and convince him to be my mentor.
贝拉 他一定很乐意当你的师父 Oh, Bela, I'm sure he'd love to be your mentor.
你是我认识最搞笑的人 我常觉得我跟兔宝宝是室友 You're the funniest person I know. It's like I live with Bugs Bunny.
我知道你是想赞美我 谢谢 I know you mean that as a compliment, so thank you.
你想不想跟我去 当我的伴 Hey, wait, actually, do you want to come with me as my plus-one?
当然想 Yeah. I'd love to.
好耶 Okay, cool.
有丹尼这种人出席 晚宴应该很高级 对吧 So if people like this Danny guy are going it's probably going to be pretty fancy, right?
高级到爆 Fancy as shit.
所以要穿丝袜 Oh, so like "pantyhose-fancy."
金柏丽 高级就不会叫你穿丝袜了 Kimberly, nothing is ever pantyhose-fancy.
我只带了一件洋装来 Okay, well, I only brought one dress with me to college.
一定可以的 是黑色的吗 I'm sure it's fine. Is it black?
是芥末色 It's mustard.
我们去买吧 Maybe we just go shopping.
我的酒里有新鲜的迷迭香 挺不赖的 Okay, fresh rosemary sprig in my drink. I can get on board with this.
是不是 卡帕会果然名不虚传 See? Kappa's living up to the hype.
看到那个金发女生了吗 Oh, do you see that blonde girl?
超级有创意 That's super creative.
那里有15个金发女生 There's like 15 blonde girls over there.
首先其中一半是啡金色 Okay, first off, half of them are "bronde."
不对 我说的是那个奎茵坎农 No, I am talking about that one right there, Quinn Cannon.
她念的是史宾赛高中 高我三届 She went to Spence. She was like three years above me
现在是卡帕会的会长 和艾赛克斯学院交社界的女王 and now she's president of Kappa and queen of the entire Essex social scene.
奎茵坎农是我三年后的目标 Quinn Cannon is exactly who I want to be in three years.
我去聊聊 你一个人没问题吧 Okay, I am going to go mingle. Are you good on your own?
- 问题可大了 - 没事的 - I most definitely am not. - You'll be fine. All right.
需要的话 我可以把 跟你对话的人的资料传给你 I can text you details about who you're talking to, if you need.
我仔细研究过这里所有的女生 I've done extensive research on every single girl here.
如果需要帮助 就开始谈芹菜汁 And if you need any help, just start talking about celery juice.
你是茉拉 对吧 Hey, you're Maura, right?
对 你一定尼可的妹妹蕾登 Yeah. You must be Nico's sister, Leighton.
觉得艾赛克斯怎么样 How you liking Essex?
我还在想办法平衡课业与课外活动 I've been busy balancing schoolwork and extracurriculars
努力应用我暑假在黛莉亚利特维克实习时的所学 and finding ways to apply the knowledge I gained last summer while interning for Dahlia Lithwick at Slate.
你好像在应征工作 你是不是排练过 Wow. I feel like I'm interviewing you for a job. Did you rehearse this?
没有 No.
等等 你也叫艾希莉 我才认识了一个艾希莉 Wait, your name is Ashley, too? I just met an Ashley.
对 但我的名字是爱情的爱 Yeah, but I spell it A-S-H-L-E-E.
我知道 我爸妈肯定呼了大麻 I know. What were my parents smoking?
艾莉范兰丁汉 Allie VanLandingham.
你在乔特高中当过资深社交主席 对吧 You were the senior social chair at Choate, right?
对 你怎么知道 Yeah. How did you know that?
卡帕会只有三个乔特高中的 I mean there's only three Choate Kappas.
你麦蒂森和雪莉丹 网站上写的 You, Madison, and Sheridan. It's all on the website.
你也太像跟踪狂了吧 Stalker much?
这都是公开资料 It... it's public information.
对 但我的名字是美丽的丽 Yeah, but I spell it A-S-H-L-E-I-G-H.
艾 喜 丽 A-S-H-L-E-Y-E.
我的名字是艾 胥 莉 I spell it A-S-H-L-I-E.
你喜欢芹菜汁吗 Do you like celery juice?
我每天早上都喝 I have it every single morning.
天啊 Oh, my God.
我们是卡帕会姐妹 到天涯海角都是 Kappa girls are we, And everywhere we are
我们衣服上绣着红字KBR We wear the sacred letters, "K-B-R."
卡帕贝塔萝 加油 Go, Kappa Beta Rho!
卡帕会主题标签的内容好多 Oh, my God, there's such good stuff in the Kappa hashtag.
我们合拍一段会很夸张吗 Would it be crazy if we made one together?
抱歉我得走了 Hey, sorry. I got to go.
没问题 回头见 Yeah, no, of course. I'll see... I'll see you later.
你的球鞋好酷 Your sneakers are so cool.
你真的是校队 太猛了 And you actually play a varsity sport? That's so impressive.
你电话几号 我把你加进卡帕会哏图群组 Whitney, what's your phone number? We want to add you to our Kappa memes chain.
聊得好愉快 但校队的车要开了 This has been so great, but I have a team bus to catch.
很高兴认识你们 It was nice meeting you
期待在日落豪宅看到各位 and I look forward to seeing you all on Selling Sunset one day.
她好幽默 She's so fun.
这件好美 Oh, this one's so pretty.
感觉像是仙妮亚唐恩会穿的 This looks like something Shania Twain would wear.
不可以 金柏丽 拜托让我帮你挑 我很用心耶 Kimberly, no. Please let me fix you. I'm trying so hard.
好吧 Okay.
你跟鲜肉尼可再见面上法语课了吗 So, have you met up with hot-ass Nico for any more French lessons yet?
没有 他上次放我鸽子后就没约了 No. Not since he bailed on me last time.
应该是只有那一次 I'm not sure it'll be an ongoing thing.
- 你传简讯给他了吗 - 没事的 我不想烦他 - But did you text him? - It's fine. I don't want to bother him.
等等‥找到了 Wait... wait. This is the dress.
表情符号 火焰头爆炸吐舌脸 Fire emoji. Head exploding emoji. Tongue-hanging-out emoji.
- 快去试穿 - 好美 - You got to try this one out. - This is beautiful.
太贵了 Oh, it's way too expensive.
金柏丽 如果你不穿这件 Kimberly, if you don't wrap your beautiful body in this dress
等于羞辱了全世界的性感女性主义者 it will be a slap in the face of hot feminists everywhere.
我买不起 会把我的紧急信用卡刷爆的 I can't afford this. This will use up way too much of my "for emergencies only" credit card.
那就不要剪标 明天来退 So, just leave the tags on and return it tomorrow.
看我的巨乳 Look at my big tits.
- 嘿 过来 - 嘿 - Hey, over here. - Hey.
天啊 Hey, my God.
- 我好期待跟你一起出城 - 我也是 - I am so excited to get out of town with you. Me too.
- 我还满喜欢住饭店的 - 好可爱 - I kind of love hotels. - Aw, that's so cute.
但你不会喜欢这间的 这间很恶心 But you're not gonna like this one. It's pretty gross.
我相信一定比你睡沙发舒服 Well, I'm sure you'll like it more than crashing on your couch for another night.
你跟蜜雪儿摊牌后 家里气氛一定很尴尬 It's gotta be so weird for you being around Michelle since you told her you're leaving her.
现在不要想这些 Let's not think about that right now.
只要想在饭店火热做爱就好 Let's just think about all the hot hotel sex we'll be having tonight.
巴士要开了该走了 Okay, okay. Bus is ready. We gotta go.
别让人发现你勃起了真要命 And hide your boner. Damn, bro.
等等 包包借我遮一下 Wait, let me carry your bag in front of it.
塞到皮带后面就好 Just tuck it up behind your belt.
真是的 Come on.
各位上车吧 All right, everybody. Let's get on the bus.
蕾登莫瑞 Leighton Murray.
不跟我打招呼 就要走了吗 Were you leaving without even saying hi to me?
对不起 我知道你很忙 Oh, yeah, sorry. I just... Well, I knew you were really busy and I...
我跟其他女生聊得很愉快 I was really vibing with the other girls. So...
是啊我看到了 Yea h, I saw.
这里的每个人都很想进卡帕会 Look, everyone here is equally obsessed with Kappa.
她们只是比较会掩饰 They're just better at hiding it.
我们进去喝一杯 Let's go inside and get a drink.
所以你可能主修数学 So, you might major in math? Wow.
- 我知道很逊 - 才不会我觉得很特别 - I know, it's lame. - No, it's refreshing.
如果再碰到一个主修行销的 我会把耳朵扯掉 If I had to talk to another f**king marketing major I was going to rip my ears off.
你认识西塔会的柯瑞吗 Hey, do you know Cory in Theta?
认识 尼可被他传染了新冠肺炎 Yeah. Nico got COVID from him.
- 怎么了 - 我男朋友跟我说 他被你迷住了 - Why? - Well, according to my boyfriend, he has a huge crush on you.
对 我听说了 Yes, I have heard that.
你会喜欢他吗 Would you be into him?
当然 百分之百 他实在太帅了 Yeah, no, 100%. He's... he's so cute.
我就知道 I knew it.
我现在就传简讯给他 说你喜欢他 I'm texting him right now that you like him.
- 什么事 - 你到饭店先垫垫肚子 - What's up? - Once we get to the hotel
吃些饼干什么的 you're gonna want to eat some crackers or something
因为球队晚上要出去狂欢 'Cause the team's going out hard tonight.
明天不是有比赛吗 But don't we have a game tomorrow?
没事的 我们的对手超弱 It's fine. The team we're playing is awful.
跟你说 今晚是巩固队友感情最好的机会 I'm telling you, tonight's the best team bonding night of the year.
你一定会喜欢 You're gonna love it.
各位小姐 我有话要说 All right, ladies. I need to speak with you.
- 麻烦看过来 - 早就在看你了帅哥 - So, all eyes on me. - Way ahead of you, handsome.
我跟伍兹教练知道 去年宵禁后很多人偷溜出去 Coach Woods and I know that there was a lot of sneaking out last year after curfew.
我要先说清楚 这次不可以了 好吗 And I just want to make it clear that that's not gonna happen again, okay?
- 我有问题 - 什么问题 - I have a question. - Okay, what is it?
你怎么会这么帅 How'd you get so fine?
我知道 你们女生之间开玩笑说我很帅 Okay, I get it. There's some weird jokes among you girls that I'm, like, attractive or whatever
但我是你们的教练 你们要尊重我 but I am your coach, and I deserve respect.
好吗 等我们到了饭店‥ Okay? All right, so when we get to the hotel...
把上衣脱了 Take your shirt off!
我才不要脱上衣 No, I'm not gonna take my shirt off.
跟我说话不能没礼貌好吗 And you can't talk to me like that, okay?
- 好 爹地 - 不要叫我爹地 - Okay, Daddy. - No, do not call me "Daddy."
我不是你的性感爹地 I'm not your sexy daddy.
- 哄我上床 爹地 - 噢 拜托啦 - Put me to bed, "Daddy." - Oh, come on.
天啊 来了好多卡特兰的校友 Oh, man. So many Catullan alums showed up.
老天 那里有个气球门 我超想过那种门 Oh, my gosh there's a helium balloon arch. I've always wanted to walk under one.
- 我也是 - 可以帮我和气球门拍照吗 - Me too. - Can you take a picture of me with it?
没问题 Yeah, sure.
性感百分百 Yes, girl. Yes!
好辣 天啊 你超辣的 So hot. Oh, my God, you look so f**king hot.
那个是和气编辑 莱恩 Hey, so that's Ryan, the nice editor.
还有毒舌编辑艾瑞克 And that's Eric, the mean editor.
那是彼得库克84年班的 Oh, and that's Peter Cook, class of '84.
老公老婆不登对中 葛瑞的爆笑金句都他写的 He wrote like all of Greg's funny lines on Dharma & Greg
万一他提到你就能接话了 just in case you talk to him and that comes up.
他写葛瑞很厉害明白了 He's good at Greg, got it.
那个不是放轻松哥吗 Oh, hey, isn't that the "chugga chugga" guy?
对 Yeah.
你可以跟其他被带来的人聊吗 Hey, do you mind mingling with the other plus-ones for a bit?
我要去跟他聊天但不想让你 看到我对他献殷勤 I'm gonna go talk to him and I don't want you watching as I make love to his ego.
没问题 不用管我 Of course, don't worry about me.
我要去全力放电 迷死一票人 I'm gonna hobnob like it's my hob job.
拜托 不要 Yeah, please don't.
我不会故意搞笑 只会跟老太太们谈益智游戏节目 I won't try to be funny. I'll just like, talk to old ladies about recent Jeopardy! episodes.
太好了 Perfect. Okay.
谢谢 Oh, thank you.
莉拉迦南 你们好吗 Lila, Canaan. Hey, how are you guys?
- 金柏丽 - 真是太酷了 - Kimberly? - How cool is this?
你们看到海鲜塔了吗 有三层耶 Have you guys seen the seafood tower? It has three tiers.
等等 所以你是这里的客人 Wait, so you're a guest here?
我们是来服侍你的 And we're, like, serving you?
- 感觉好奇怪 - 不是‥我不能算客人 - Yeah, that's weird. - Oh, no, no. I'm barely a guest.
是我室友带我来的 算是钻技术漏洞进来的 I'm my roommate's plus-one, and I'm just here on a technicality.
那个看起来好好吃 Those look good.
您想吃我的椰子虾吗 Would you like one of my coconut shrimp?
不用 我刚吃过东西 I'm good. I just had something.
要把竹签放在我的垃圾盘上吗 And do you want to put your little stick on my trash tray?
不用 我拿着就好 No. I'm going to hold on to it for a bit.
我去走一圈 I'm gonna take a lap.
- 打搅了 你是丹尼马拉维兹吧 - 嗯 嗯 - Excuse me, you're Danny Marawitz, right? - Mm-hmm.
我是贝拉摩赫查 希望能进入卡特兰 I'm Bela Malhotra. I'm a Catullan hopeful.
我好嫉妒啊 I'm jealous.
我正在欣赏我头发浓密时的照片 I'm just here admiring pictures of myself without a receding hairline.
如果你缺的是头发 我今天才拔过臂毛 Well, if it's more hair you want, I waxed my arms this morning.
垃圾桶里多了一顶猫王的假发 So there's basically an Elvis wig in my garbage can.
抱歉 这太没礼貌了 跟你讲话害我好紧张 I'm sorry, that was gross. I'm just nervous to talk to you.
很好笑耶 你叫什么来着 That's really funny. What's your name again?
- 贝拉摩赫查 - 祝你好运贝拉 - Bela Malhotra. - Well, good luck, Bela.
诸位 拜托别跟我要钱 Gentlemen, don't hit me up for money please.
蕾登 Leighton?
你是不是买了一张椅子 Did you buy a chair?
对 如果我得在这里待一百个小时 Yes. If I'm gonna be here for 100 hours
可不想窝在一张年纪比我还大的沙发上 I'm not spending them on a couch that's older than I am.
天啊 你不能‥ Oh, my God, you know, you can't...
在你大惊小怪之前 And before you jump on my dick
我十分钟后就下班了 而且我做了很多事 my shift is over in ten minutes and I've done a bunch of work.
帮洗手间跟沙发室的棉条补了货 I restocked the tampons in the bathroom. I restocked the tampons in the couch room.
甚至还发了讲监狱工业复合体的说明书给一个女生 And I even gave a girl a pamphlet on the prison industrial complex.
如果你想多消磨几个小时 我晚上需要你帮忙 Okay, if you want to shave off some hours I could really use your help tonight.
是讲多元性别的研讨会 It's a panel on the ABCs of the LGBTs.
你一定会很讨厌 You'll hate it.
没办法 我‥有事 Yeah, I can't. I have a... I have a thing.
- 约会吗 - 对 - A date? - Yes.
这下好玩了 我来猜猜你喜欢的类型 Ooh, this'll be so much fun. Okay, let me guess your type.
那位小哥叫盖瑞斯 他老爸是大富翁的发明者 His name, Gareth. His dad, the Monopoly man.
小哥的爱好包括航海和享受家族财富带来的好处 And his hobbies, they include sailing and benefiting from generational wealth?
你忘了羞辱服务生 但其他都猜得对 You forgot belittling waiters, but yes. Otherwise, that's about right.
在我听来像一场噩梦 Well, that sounds like my personal nightmare.
出去时可以顺手拿几个保险套 Condoms on your way out if you want 'em.
不用了 我不会第一次约会就上床 Yeah, no thank you. I do not hook up on the first date.
随便你 Whatever you say.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
我知道我刚刚态度很奇怪 但那是因为别的事情 I know I was being weird before but that was because of something else.
麻烦给我一杯雪碧 And I'd love a Sprite, please.
没问题 一杯雪碧马上来 Okay, sure. One Sprite.
- 你干吗 - 抱歉 不够吗明白 - What are you doing? - Oh, sorry. Is that not enough? Fine, here.
你是有什么毛病 What the hell is wrong with you?
- 不过是杯雪碧 - 抱歉我不懂规矩 - It's a Sprite. I'm sorry. - I don't know what to do.
别放在心上 钱收好 Don't worry about it. Keep your money.
反正别人也不给小费 No one else here is tipping anyway, so...
等一下 我有个好主意 Hold on, I have an idea.
拿全额奖学金的酒保 还调得一手超棒的马丁尼 Wow, a bartender on full scholarship, and he makes a mean martini!
赏你20块小费 Here is a 20.
搞什么鬼 What the hell?
别人知道我们在领助学金出手会比较大方 When people know we're on financial aid, they tip more.
我知道你想帮忙 但这招绝对不会有用 Okay, I get that you're trying to help but there's no way that's going to work, so...
- 给我一杯马丁尼 - 嗯 - I'll take a martini. - Hmm.
马上来 Coming right up.
卡帕会基本上就是西塔会的女生版 And Kappa's basically Theta's sister sorority, so...
- 真希望尼可跟我都‥ - 是啊 - you know, it would be great if Nico and me... - Yeah.
抱歉 我的话题是不是太无聊了 I'm sorry, am I boring you?
我非问不可这究竟算什么 Hey, I gotta ask you, what is this?
什么意思 What do you mean?
今年暑假和两周前见面时 When I saw you this summer and then with your brother a couple weeks ago
你似乎都对我挺有意思 you know, you kind of seemed into me.
但我每次想跟你联络 都被已读不回 And then, I don't know, whenever I'd try to hit you up, you ghost me.
现在你突然约我吃晚饭 And then all of a sudden you want to go to dinner?
感觉有点不对劲 Something just kind of seems off with you.
- 我一个月前才开始上大学 - 抱歉 没跟你约炮 - I... I just got to school like a month ago. - I'm sorry I don't hit you up to dry-hump me every night.
我不是那个意思 Whoa... whoa, that's not what I meant at all.
我知道 对不起‥ No, I know. I'm sorry. I just... I'm sorry.
柯瑞 我真的很喜欢你 Look, Cory, I really like you.
是吗 蕾登 因为我有时候觉得‥ Do you, Leighton? 'Cause sometimes I think...
要不要去你房间 我可以多跟你聊聊卡帕会 Should we go back to your place? I could talk about Kappa some more.
求之不得 I would love that.
- 我也很高兴跟你聊天 - 彼此 - It was great chatting with you, too. - You as well.
- 谢谢 - 这是我的荣幸 - Thank you. - My pleasure.
朋友 我变成交际花了 Dude, I am networking my hot little ass off.
打扰一下 可以占用几分钟吗 Excuse me? Can I have your attention, please?
那是丹尼 我要站在他视线之内努力大笑 Oh, that's Danny. I am gonna get in his eyeline and laugh really hard.
我在卡特兰的岁月改变了我的人生 My time at The Catullan changed my life.
之后我花了20年 想让人生重回正轨 And I've spent the last 20 years trying to change it back.
说真的 这里是喜剧事业的最佳起点 But seriously, there is no better place to launch a comedy career.
有了在这里学到的技巧和建立的人脉 With the skills you'll learn here and the connections you'll make
不出多久 你们的编剧同事就会是其他的搞笑天才 soon you'll be working in writers' rooms with other funny guys
和他们靠关系找进来却毫无喜感的女友 and their marginally funny girlfriends they've hired through nepotism.
说几句正经话 But jokes aside
现在开始出现女性编剧是件好事 I think it's great that there are some female writers now.
像这个女生 之前我跟她聊过几句 Like this girl right here. I had the chance to chat with her earlier
我真心觉 得像她这样的人是喜剧界未来的栋梁 and I honestly think that people like her are the future of comedy.
一位年轻的印度女性 A young Indian woman?
她很快就会是我们之中唯一还能卖电视节目的人 Soon she'll be the only one of us who can sell a television show.
剧情八成是 古怪的少数族裔女性 Let me guess, about a quirky ethnic woman
试着平衡爱情和事业 trying to balance her love life and her career.
对啦 太引人入胜了 Yeah, that's compelling.
嘿 嘿 Hey, hey.
- 要不要 - 糟了 - You want? - Oh, shoot.
等等 你需要一杯‥来吧 Wait, wait you need one. You need one. Go, go.
我们要去哪里 Okay, where are we going?
一座和麦当劳共用停车场的迷你高尔夫球场 A mini-golf course that shares a parking lot with a McDonald's.
要命 听起来超棒的 God damn, that sounds amazing.
是的 Okay.
谢谢 Thank you.
- 给那只恐龙好看 - 宝贝‥ - Hump that dino. - Yo, babe.
- 对 宝贝 - 是的 拍到了 - Yeah, baby. - Yeah, I got it.
我一定要把这张拍片放在交友网站的个人简介上 This is 1,000% going on my Tinder profile.
嗯 你看 Okay, look.
- 太好看了 - 呃 嗯 - Okay, it's lit. - Uh-huh.
- 这张也好‥ - 谢谢 - Okay, all right. - Thank you.
- 那是什么 - 什么 - What was that? - What?
没什么啊 Nothing.
要死了 Oh, shit.
你跟道顿教练搞上了 You're hooking up with Coach Dalton.
他的口头禅也许很爆笑 但是为人实在混蛋透顶 He may have hilarious catchphrases, but that guy was such a jerk.
他讲的每一句话都让我恨得牙痒痒 I really hated everything he said.
多谢你的雅量 搞笑就是要不择手段 对吧 Hey, thanks for being a good sport. Anything for the laugh, right?
你是个混蛋 You're an asshole.
别激动亲爱的 不要生气嘛 不然只会让自己下不了台 Easy, honey. Don't get upset. I promise you, it's not a good look.
我以前很崇拜你 但现在已经不记得为什么了 I used to look up to you, but now I don't even remember why.
你已经闲了十年 You haven't worked in, like, ten years.
知道为什么吗 因为你已经不好笑了 And you know why? Because you're not funny anymore.
充其量只能在网路广播讲恶毒笑话 You're like toxic podcast funny, at best.
放‥放轻松到去吃屎吧 So, chugga... chugga, eat shit.
- 别指望我会再捐钱给你们了 - 等一下 你这是‥ - You can forget about my donation check. - Wait... what are you...
等一下 丹尼 Wait. Hey, Danny, wait.
我觉得十年没人找你工作太过分了 I think it's crazy you haven't worked in ten years.
反正你们不需要他的钱吧 You don't need his money anyway, right?
我有好多问题 I have so many questions.
你们是何时开始的 他的床上功夫跟长相一样棒吗 When did this start? Is he as good at sex as he looks?
你是不是疯了 先回答床上功夫那一题 And bitch, are you crazy? Answer the sex one first.
我知道这样很不理智 但是我管不住自己 I know. I know it's insane. Okay? But I can't help myself.
- 我觉得我好像爱上他了 - 你爱他 - I... I think I, like, love him. - You love him?
薇萝 小声点啦 不能让别人知道 Willow. Please keep your voice down. Okay, no one can find out.
队上每一个人都有秘密 我都没有泄密 This whole team is full of secrets, and I never share them.
去年春天 洁娜开车撞死一只狗 Last spring, Jena ran over a dog.
你泄密了 You just shared one.
薇萝拜托你 这会毁了道顿的事业 Willow, please. Okay, this could ruin Dalton's career.
我妈是参议员 会闹得不可收拾 And with my mom being a senator, it would be this whole big thing.
你真的不能说出去 Okay, you really can't say anything.
说什么 Say anything about what?
洁娜 薇萝和我在谈很重要的私事 Hey, Jena. Willow and I are actually in the middle of an important, private conversation.
- 什么样的私事 - 新闻和时事 - About what? - About news and current events.
- 问那么多干吗 还不快走 - 走就走嘛 真是的 What the f**k do you care? Go ahead on. - Go. Okay, chill. Jeez.
- 可以走了吗 - 可以顺道去麦当劳吗 - Can we just get outta here? - Can we stop at the McDonalds on the way home?
- 可以 - 那好 - Yes. - All right.
她们肯定是搞上了 Well, they're definitely f**king.
没问题吗 You down?
没问题 Yeah, I'm fine.
贝拉 你真的是反应过度了 Bela, I... I really think you overreacted.
丹尼不可能有性别歧视 他只雇用女性助理 Danny can't be sexist. He only hires female assistants.
她说得没错 我说过我的名字 他说叫我“黄艾莉”就好了 She's right. I told him my name and he said he'd just call me "Ali Wong."
他很没礼貌 我很高兴贝拉没有隐忍 He's rude, and I'm glad Bela said something.
不会有事的 It'll be okay.
- 我们还是走好了 - 我去拿外套 - Maybe we should just go. - I'll go get our coats.
你是贝拉吧 毒舌女王本尊 Bela, right? The roastmaster herself.
对 但我现在没心情 Yeah, now might not be the time.
我听到你跟丹尼说的话了 我想谢谢你 I overheard what you said to Danny. And I want to thank you.
丹尼马拉维兹一直是个烂人 Danny Marawitz is, and always has been, a total shit.
我们两个同一年进卡特兰 他最喜欢笑我是同性恋 He and I were tapped in the same year and his favorite "joke" was to call me gay.
我确实是同性恋 所以感觉很差 And I am gay, so... that sucked.
他让卡特兰的人忍受了四年的人间炼狱 He made The Catullan a living hell for everyone on staff for four years.
但今晚之前从来没有人敢反击 But until tonight, I've never seen anyone go back at him.
我很乐意开支票补足他的捐款 I'd be happy to write a check to replace his donation.
他说他要捐两万 He said he was donating 20 grand.
我很乐意开支票补足他捐款的一半 I'd be happy to write a check to replace half his donation.
谢谢你 Thank you so much.
谢了 Thanks.
金柏丽 Hey, Kimberly.
这是给你的 We wanted to give this to you.
这是你的假小费和我们今晚收入的分成 It's all of your fake tips and then a cut of everything else that we made.
什么 不行我不能收 What? No. I can't take that.
我们觉得这样才公道 他本来不肯 但被我说服了 We thought it was only fair. And he was reluctant at first, but I convinced him.
- 应该是反过来才对 - 这是谎言 - It was definitely the other way around. - That's a lie.
一个无法证实的谎言 An impossible-to-prove lie.
- 你们真的很够意思 但是‥ - 天哪 拜托你收下 - It's really nice of you guys but... - Oh, my God, just take it.
- 这只是我们收入的一小部分 - 很小的一部分 - It's like a real small percentage of what we made. - Very small.
没有你帮忙 我们什么都赚不到 We wouldn't have made anything without your help.
- 谢了 - 不客气 - Thanks. - You're welcome.
- 对哦 - 不对 这不是规矩 - Oh, yes. Of course. - Oh, no, no. That's not how this works.
员工之间是不给小费的 Help does not tip help.
薇萝 你发誓不会说出去 Willow, you swear you won't tell anyone?
惠妮 我知道看我的中性打扮很难让人相信 Whitney, I know this may be tough for you to believe given all the men's hoodies I wear,
但我也有过出柜前的日子 but I was closeted once.
- 知道怎么保守秘密 - 好的 - I can keep a secret. - Okay.
去跟咱们的教练滚床单吧 Now, go have gross, straight sex with our coach.
回来时别吵醒我 And do not wake me up when you get back.
晚安 Okay.
你是个好朋友 Hey. You're a good friend.
多喝点水 Drink water.
- 嘿 - 抱歉 这么晚我心里很过意不去 - Hey. - I'm so sorry I'm late.
我们约好了 但我玩得忘了时间 I feel terrible. We had plans and I just lost track of time.
没关系 因为今晚 终于可以在你身边入睡 It's all good. Tonight I get to fall asleep next to you for the first time.
先别睡 Well, don't fall asleep yet.
尼可回复了你的贴文
尼可 好美的洋装
导 演 卡比尔·阿赫塔