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翻译 Elena777
校对 Elena777
时间轴 Elena777
后期 渔夫
总监 Elena777
等等 别亲我 我刚醒呢 Wait. Don't kiss me. I just woke up.
没事 这是好运亲亲 No, it doesn't matter. They're good luck kisses.
-该死 我今天要做展示 -什么 - Fuck. Wait. My presentation. - What?
-等等 几点了 -没事 别担心 才八点 - Wait, what time is it? - You're good. You're good. You're good. It's eight.
-好吧 -别急 - Okay. - You're good.
-我紧张死了 -你肯定没问题 - I'm so fucking nervous. - You got it.
-可不能搞砸了 -你一定会惊艳全场 - I can't fuck this up. - You're gonna be amazing.
我送你去学校吗 Want me to walk you to school?
我想边走边听歌 调整状态 I think I wanna listen to music and clear my head,
爱你哟 but I love you.
我也爱你 I love you, too.
起床准备吧 Go. Go.
不论你表现如何 我都为你骄傲 You know whatever happens today, I'm proud of you.
真是难以置信 Can you believe it?
这就是我们梦想的生活 It's everything we dreamed of.
我爱你 I love you.
该死 Shit.
这儿有薄饼吧 You had pancakes, right?
阿里 我知道你不信我 Look, Ali, I know you don't believe me,
但我真是好得很 but I'm, I'm doing really good, actually.
-是吗 -是啊 - Is that so? - Yeah.
好得不得了 Yeah, for sure.
虽然我可能会突然失控 陷入深渊 I mean it, you know, could suddenly shit flip and get super dark? Yeah, you know.
确实有这个可能 I mean it could, but...
但我找到了一种奇妙的平衡 I feel like I've found this, like, amazing balance,
我活得开心健康 where I'm like happy and healthy,
我的幸福不再依靠别人 and I'm not, like, looking to anybody else for that happiness, you know?
去她的茱尔丝 Fuckin' Jules.
我之前情绪总受她左右 The way I was, like, putting way too much of my emotional well-being in her hands,
从不对她吐槽 you know, without ever, like, talking about it,
一直闷在心里 or, or saying it. I...
而且 我还很傻叉 Especially the way I was fuckin'...
计划我们未来的生活 making plans for the rest of our life and shit. And I just...
现在想起来真是费解 And I look back and I'm just like,
我当初怎么那么傻 why the fuck did I do that?
疯疯癫癫 别别扭扭 It's fuckin' crazy. And weird.
怎么说呢 I don't know.
我可能把她看得太重要了 I guess I just, like, made her the point.
但她其实并不重要 But she's, like, not the point.
我才是重点 I'm the point, you know?
戒毒才是重点 The point is your sobriety.
那是自然 Yeah. Of course. Yeah.
重点是我的幸福感 And, and like, my, my general overall well-being.
戒毒才能幸福 Which starts with your sobriety.
对 Yeah.
我还得找到情感的平衡 And, like, finding an emotional balance, you know?
你刚说找到了一种奇妙的平衡 You just said you found an amazing balance.
没错 I, I did.
确实找到了 但也没那么完美 I have. I, I mean, but I'm not perfect, you know, so...
不过我确实清醒了 I'm, I'm sane, though.
越来越清醒 理智决断 Like, I'm sane. Saner. I'm making sane decisions.
小茹 你嗑嗨了 Rue. You're high.
你好像没仔细听我说啊 I feel like you're not listening to what I'm saying.
小茹 你都不知道自己在说什么 Rue, I don't think you're listening to what you're saying.
不可能吧 I feel like that's physically impossible.
怎么不可能 你就在胡扯 To what? Talk some bullshit?
这么说吧 You know,
这个世界真是太费解了 that's what, like, I, I don't understand about the world.
很多人酗酒 吸毒 'Cause, like, there is tons of people who, you know, drink and do drugs,
可很多时候都过得很好 and sometimes their life is good.
时不时也挺倒霉 And sometimes, life's just bad, you know?
生活就是这么操蛋 起起伏伏 It's fucking life. There's ups and downs to this shit,
但不管你信不信 but, I mean, whether you believe me or not,
-我过得挺好 -行吧 你说过了 - I'm, like, I'm good. - Yeah, yeah, you said that.
我又没干太多坏事 Yeah, I mean, it's not like I'm doing a bunch of shit.
只是抽了点大麻 I'm just smoking a little bit of weed,
嗑了几片药而已 and taking some pills that were prescribed to me.
重点是 吸毒只是一时的快感 My point is, it's not gonna last.
清醒时的幸福感也转瞬即逝 Yeah, well, neither do my moods when I'm sober.
你确实情绪不太稳定 Okay, well, you know, I'm not saying you're, a paragon of mental health.
你有很多心结 You've got your issues,
终其一生 你都会为心结所困 and you're gonna be struggling with those issues for the rest of your life.
这是事实 That's a fact.
问题是 你觉得戒毒不利于你解开心结 The problem is, is that you look at sobriety as a weakness in the face of those issues,
而我认为 and what I'm saying is,
戒毒后的清醒是你最有力的武器 sobriety is your greatest weapon.
好吧 Yeah.
阿里 我跟你说件事 Ali, can I tell you something?
好 Yeah.
讲真 要是我干了坏事 Like, for real, if--if I say some dark shit,
你不会举报我吧 you're not gonna report me to the state or something?
小茹 我不是你的心理辅导员 Rue, I'm not a guidance counselor.
我就是个瘾君子 想在死前做点好事 I'm just a crackhead who's trying to do a little good on this Earth before I die.
你真不正常 You're, you're a trip, man.
你刚才想说什么 What were you gonna say?
-不重要了 我糊涂了 抱歉 -说吧 - It doesn't matter. It's stupid. All right, I'm sorry. - Come on.
-你刚才想说什么 说吧 -算了 不想说了 - What were you gonna say? Say it. - Nah. I don't wanna--
说吧 Say it.
我没吸毒时 When I'm, when I'm clean, you know,
我头脑清醒时 when I'm present,
面对这个世界 我不只想复吸 like a part of this world, I don't just think about relapsing.
我还有别的不好念头 It's, it's darker than that.
你觉得戒毒是我最有力的武器 And, you can say that sobriety is my, greatest weapon, but...
但说实话 就因为吸毒 我才没自杀 To tell you the truth, drugs are probably the only reason I haven't killed myself.
说到点上了 Now we're talkin'.
你终于坦白 说实话了 Now you're being real. Now you're being honest.
因为你假装是个正常的瘾君子 Because this whole bullshit about being a functioning drug addict,
假装找到了平衡 about finding balance,
这些都是谎话 that ain't true. That's a lie.
-不是谎话 -不管你承不承认 就是谎话 - It's not a lie. - It's a lie, whether you know it or not,
但更重要的是 我根本不想听这些 but more importantly, I don't give a fuck to hear it.
-随你便 -"随你便" - Yeah, whatever, man. - "Whatever, man"?
随你便 Whatever, man.
小姑娘 Listen, young blood.
我嗑嗨时 你还没出生呢 I was shooting dope before your mama's egg dropped.
我走过的路比你吃过的盐都多 I've lived a whole motherfuckin' life
教育你这个小混球绰绰有余 to get to this diner to sit across from your arrogant ass,
少跟我来"随你便"这一套 so don't you ever "whatever" me.
你才17岁 懂个屁啊 You're 17. You don't know shit.
你牛 我比你更牛 You think you're hard? I'm harder.
你刚 我比你更刚 You think you're tough? I'm tougher.
你戒毒后想自杀 都是我的老黄历了 You got clean and want to kill yourself? Same motherfuckin' story here.
想知道原因吗 那就实说跟你说了吧 You want to know why? I'll tell you why.
因为你根本不会生活 'Cause you don't know how to live life.
你没那个资本 You don't have the tools.
你整天无所事事 You're too busy running around,
在大家面前装得很牛逼 trying to bullshit everybody into thinking you're hard,
什么都不在意 and you don't give a fuck,
可事实上 你在意得很 when in reality, you give so much of a fuck,
你敏感得要命 you can't even bear to be alive.
跟你说 从现在起 So guess what? New rule.
少来浪费我的时间 No more wasting my motherfuckin' time.
你想吸毒 随你便 You wanna use? Use.
但起码诚实点 吸就大大方方承认 But the least you can do is be honest. Own that shit.
好吧 Okay.
-懂了吗 -懂了 - You feel me? - Yep.
你为什么复吸 Why'd you relapse?
我没办法停止思考 I don't know. Couldn't stop my mind from racing.
思考什么 Racing about what?
-一切 -说具体点 - Everything. - Get specific.
我的所作所为 我后悔做过的事 All the things I remember and all the things I wish I didn't.
我懂了 Okay. I get it.
为什么不找我 Why didn't you call me?
讲真 我根本没打算戒毒 Just... honestly, I wasn't really trying not to relapse.
行 懂了 Yeah. Man. Okay.
你哪儿来的毒品 Where'd you get the drugs?
以防万一 我存了点药 I had some pills for emergency purposes.
我去 这种诱惑根本抵挡不住 Fuck. So you never stood a chance.
是啊 Nope.
你想戒毒吗 Do you wanna get clean?
不想 No.
确定吗 You sure?
确定 Yep.
我懂了 I get it. I get it.
-是不是很操蛋 -不想戒毒这事吗 - Is that fucked up? - What? That you don't want to get clean?
当然很操蛋了 Yeah, yeah. Of course it's fucked up.
我就是个垃圾 I'm a piece of shit, huh?
是啊 你是个垃圾 你这个小垃圾 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a piece of shit. You're a piece of shit.
但也别太灰心 All right, but, here's the silver lining.
不是因为你垃圾才会吸毒 You're not a drug addict because you're a piece of shit.
而是因为你吸毒才是个垃圾 懂吗 You're a piece of shit because you're a drug addict. You follow?
-没太懂 -好吧 这么说吧 - I don't really... - Okay, all right. What I'm saying is,
你不是一出生就是个坏小孩 you didn't come out of the womb an evil person.
小茹 你出生时是个漂亮小姑娘 You, Rue, came out of the womb a beautiful baby girl,
但你当时不知道 自己脑中有根引线 who unbeknownst to her, had a couple of wires crossed.
你第一次吸毒后 So when you tried drugs for the first time,
这根引线就被点燃了 it set something off in your brain
之后就一发不可收拾 that's beyond your control.
这与意志力无关 And it isn't a question of willpower.
你坚定与否都不重要 It's not about how strong you are.
一旦染毒 你就加入了一场必输的战役 You've been fighting a losing game since the first day you got high.
你可以毁掉自己的人生 So you can destroy your life,
毒害你妹 you can fuck your little sister's head up,
伤害折磨你妈 you can abuse and torture and take for granted your mama,
坐在这儿 直视我的眼睛 and sit here and look me in the eye,
从容冷静 毫无愧色地告诉我 and say, as calm as can be, as cool as a cucumber,
"我会继续吸毒" "Imma keep usin' drugs."
你染上了毒瘾这种病 That is the disease of addiction.
这种病会逐渐恶化 It is a degenerative disease.
无法治愈 伤身致命 It is incurable. It is deadly.
无异于癌症 And it's no different than cancer.
你染上了这种病 And you got it.
为什么呢 点背 Why? Luck of the draw.
但染上毒瘾最惨的一点 But, but the hardest part of having the disease of addiction,
除了染病这件事本身 aside from having the disease,
就是没人会把这当成一种病 is that no one in the world sees it as a disease.
大家只会觉得你自私 They see you as selfish.
他们认为你软弱且残忍 They see you as weak. They see you as cruel.
他们认为你不可救药 They see you as, destructive.
人们会想 我何必在意她呢 They think, why should I give a fuck about her
她都不在意自己和别人 if she doesn't give a fuck about herself or anybody else?
我何必在她身上浪费时间精力和同情呢 Why does this girl deserve my time, my patience, my sympathy? Right?
她想自杀 随她吧 If she wants to kill herself, let her.
这些反应都很正常 All reasonable questions and responses.
但幸运的是 不止你一人得了这种病 But luckily, you aren't the only person on planet Earth who has this disease.
世上还有我这样的人 There happens to be people like me,
我知道你没那么坏 who understand that you aren't all that bad.
也许在这幅邋遢颓废的外壳下 Probably underneath all this busted-ass, chaotic energy,
你其实是个好孩子 谁也说不准 you might even be a good kid. Who knows?
所以 我才愿意在圣诞前夜跟你吃薄饼 And that is why we are eating pancakes on Christmas Eve.
虽然你并不想戒毒 Despite the fact that you don't want to get clean.
你有女儿吧 You have daughters, right?
她们在哪儿 Where are they?
各自跟家人过节呢 Different places, celebrating with their families.
你们常见面吗 You see them often?
她们从没邀请过我 I've never declined an invitation.
可你不是已经戒毒20年了吗 Wait, but haven't you been, like, clean for 20 years?
不不不 我戒毒七年了 Nah, nah. I was clean for seven years.
真的吗 Wait, really?
嗯 之前坚持了12年 Yeah, well, I had 12 years before that,
结果 得意忘形了 but you know, I got cocky.
觉得自己能得不得了 Started to walk around thinking I was invincible.
所以 重新来过 现在七年了 So, now I got seven years.
-不容易 -是啊 - Shit. - Right.
那你怎么 Wait, how do you...
你怎么12年后复吸了呢 How do you relapse after 12 years?
忘记吸毒的坏处了 You forget how bad it is.
真惨 复吸了多久 Damn. How, how long did you relapse for?
一年半 A... year and a half.
-该死 -确实该死 - Fuck. - Yeah, fuck. Yeah. Right.
靠 Shit.
靠 我本以为你就复吸了几天 Damn. I thought, I thought you were gonna say, like, a day or something.
没那么简单 一旦复吸 Nah, nah. Once you get back in that cycle, you know, using and abusing,
就是个恶性循环 it's inescapable.
尤其是戒毒12年后复吸 Especially if you've been clean for 12 years.
毒瘾病会在你脑中念叨 That's when the disease starts talking.
"12年了 马丁 这下你可别想逃了" "Twelve years, Martin, and you ain't never getting that far again."
等等 马丁 Wait. Martin?
对 Yeah.
马丁是谁 Who's Martin?
我就是马丁 Martin is me.
什么 What?
那是我的名字 My name.
-你叫马丁 -曾用名 - Your name is Martin? - Well, it used to be.
-什么 -我皈依之前的名字 - What? - Before I converted.
-皈依什么 -伊斯兰教 - To what? - To Islam.
阿里 我把我说蒙了 Ali, I'm super fucking confused right now.
我是你第一个黑人朋友吗 What am I, your first Black friend?
你真以为我来自中东吗 What'd you think, I was actually from the Middle East?
-不是吧 -我是南费城人 - What-- - I'm from south Philly.
可马丁这个名字和你不像啊 Yeah, but you, you just don't, you don't look like a Martin.
-真不像 -我也这么觉得 - You don't. - I didn't think so, either.
女人也会皈依伊斯兰教吗 Do women ever convert to Islam?
少有 Very few.
说来有意思 You know, it's interesting,
因为 'cause, like...
我就是因此而纠结 It's kind of what I struggle with.
-什么意思 -戒毒的步骤 - What do you mean? - The NA shit.
第一步我能接受 Step one, I, I, I'm cool with.
就是 Like, you know, I, I can,
我同意 I can agree, you know,
我拒绝不了毒品 我的人生失控了 I'm powerless over drugs, and my life is unmanageable.
这点不难理解 That's not, like, fucking inconceivable.
-没错 -但是 - Right. Right. - But...
第二步就不同了 It's step two.
"相信超越自我的至高力量会带我们走回正途" "Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."
这点 我 That one, I just, I...
我很纠结 I have some trouble with.
好吧 我懂了 Okay. All right, all right, I see.
我明白了 Now I get it.
你不相信有比小茹更崇高的力量 You don't believe there's a power on Earth greater than Rue.
-不是这样 -是吗 - That's not true. - Really?
这么说不对 It's not true.
-我觉得比我厉害的事情有很多 -举个例子 - I think there's tons of shit that is of greater power than me. - Name one.
大卡车 A Mack truck.
-怎么了 -举个别的例子 - What? - Name another.
海洋 The ocean.
再来 Try again.
靠 欧迪斯·雷丁的歌都比我厉害 Shit. I would say any song by Otis Redding is of greater power than me.
根本没法自圆其说 That doesn't make any sense.
是真的 It does. Yeah, it does.
-真的 -说说看 - It does. - What?
《品尝丝丝温柔》的影响力 The... the impact that "Try a Little Tenderness" had on the world is,
是我绝对达不到的 is more than I, I could ever do.
-可是 -我们都没那么大的影响力 - Well... - It's more than probably any of us will ever fucking do.
好吧 好吧 All right, all right, all right.
算你机智 但你别想蒙混过关 Little smart ass. Okay, that's not gonna cut it.
阿里 我不相信上帝 Ali, I don't believe in God.
说实话 上帝根本不在意你信不信祂 Guess what? God doesn't give a fuck if you believe in him.
-上帝相信你 -这样啊 - He believes in you. - I don't know.
听起来很唬人 That, that, that sounds good,
但其实没什么用 but it, it doesn't really mean anything.
当然有用了 Of course it means something.
如果上帝不相信你 If God didn't believe in you,
你现在根本不可能活着 you wouldn't even still be breathing.
这么说 我爸死了是因为上帝不相信他 So, you're saying the reason my dad died is because God didn't believe in him?
小茹 我不是这个意思 Rue, that's not what I was saying--
一有人这么说 我就来气 There's nothing that makes me angrier than that fucking argument.
我不是这个意思 That's, that's not what I was saying--
每当有人在大规模枪击中幸存 You know, 'cause every time someone survives, like, a mass shooting
或在大地震中逃生 or some terrible fucking earthquake,
他们总会说 "我幸存不是偶然" they always say, you know, "I survived for a reason.
"上帝拯救我有其深意 我的人生有意义" God saved me for a reason. I have a purpose."
然后我就会想 And then I think to myself, like, okay, well,
你觉得你的生命 what you're saying is that your life is more important
比丧生的六岁孩子更重要吗 than that six-year-old who died that day,
比丧生的新生儿更重要吗 or the new-born who died that day.
比当天丧生的人都重要吗 or anybody fucking else who died that day.
你的人生有意义吗 Your life has a purpose, right?
凭什么你的人生有意义 Well, why does your life have a purpose,
我爸的人生就没有呢 and my dad's doesn't?
我也可以说 我爸的意义就是抚养我和我妹 Because I could argue that my dad's purpose was to raise me and my sister.
和我妈厮守 To be there for my mom.
我觉得这是他人生的意义 That was his purpose, I think.
可是呢 But, you know.
他死了 He's dead.
-听着 -阿里 如果你想说 - Listen-- - Ali, if you're, if you're about to tell me
他的死是冥冥中的安排 that he died for a reason,
或者是心灵鸡汤那一套 or you know, whatever,
我立马走人 I will literally walk the fuck out.
我没想这么说 I, I wasn't.
他不是为了给我们上一课而死 He didn't die to teach us a lesson. Okay?
他的死不是想让大家更珍惜彼此 He didn't die to, you know, have us all come together,
或是大家胡扯出来自欺欺人那一套 or whatever the fuck people tell people when they don't have anything to say.
他死了就是死了 He died because he died.
就这么简单 That's it.
和我出生时就不对劲是同样的原因 Same stupid reason I came out of the womb with a couple wires crossed. Right?
点背而已 Just fucking luck.
这是你的原话 You said it.
事情就这么简单 That's it.
听着 Listen...
我不知道所有答案 I don't know all the answers.
我也不想假装自己无所不知 And I'm not gonna pretend to.
但我知道 But I do know
任何时候 that at any given point
每当我们无法看清生活的轨迹时 that we're unable to see and comprehend the overall arc of human life.
没人能看得清 No person can see it.
事情从始至终的一系列变化 The whole chain reaction of how things come to be from beginning to end.
这是个谜 永远都将是个谜题 It's a mystery, and will always remain a mystery.
伊斯兰教士 黑人民权运动领袖
六岁的马尔科姆·利特为何会在车祸中失去父亲 How, six-year-old Malcolm Little's daddy was killed in a streetcar accident.
传闻 是黑党下的手 Rumor was it that the Black Legion did it.
3K党是幕后黑手 The KKK.
那个小男孩从小就认识到 How that little boy grew up believing that
白人世界没有黑人的立足地 那就去他的吧 this white world had no place for a Black man like him, so fuck it.
他搬去了哈莱姆 开始拉皮条 He moves to Harlem, becomes a pimp.
染上了毒瘾 Becomes an addict.
以抢劫偷窃为生 直至被关进了监狱 Starts robbing and stealing, till he gets locked up.
由此皈依了伊斯兰教 Who discovers Islam.
发起了民权运动 Who starts a movement.
美国白人被他吓得屁滚尿流 Who scares the living shit out of white America so bad
于是转而支持另一个黑人民权领袖 that white America was so afraid that they embraced another Negro,
他主张实现梦想 而非斩首伪君子 one who had a dream, not to cut the head off the snake,
当然他们理应被斩首 even if that's what they deserved,
他主张和谐共生 but to live in harmony.
《民权法案》由此诞生 Next thing you know, Civil Rights Act.
首次以立法的形式 The first legislative steps granting you and I the right
赋予你我这样的人光明正大在这里聊天的权利 to sit in this motherfuckin' diner to have a conversation
讨论你到底想不想戒毒 about whether or not you wanna stay clean from drugs.
这些毒品曾使你的祖先丧失能力 沦为奴隶 Drugs that were given to your ancestors to keep them inebriated, inoculated, enslaved.
毒品不仅令他们失去自由 Drugs that stripped them of their ability to not just be free,
还剥夺了他们重获自由的思想 but to imagine a world in which they were free.
为什么有人的人生更有意义呢 So, why is one person's purpose greater than another's?
为什么有人死 有人生呢 Why are some people struck down while others live?
小茹·贝内特 为什么你能坐在这儿 Why are you, Rue Bennett, sitting here when other 17-year-olds,
可其他比你优秀善良 谦和有礼的17岁孩子 17-year-olds who are better, who are kinder,
不在这儿呢 who are more respectful than you, aren't sitting here,
我不知道 I don't know.
这是个谜 That's the mystery.
但我们毕竟都在这儿了 But here we are.
接下来要怎么办 So what now?
不好说 I don't know.
要不我 Maybe I'll...
效仿马尔科姆闹革命吧 start a revolution like Malcolm X or something.
你没听说吗 But haven't you heard, man,
革命不再激进了 revolutions are no longer radical.
什么意思 What are you talking about?
革命大多 如今人人都是革命家 There's so many revolutions that everybody's a revolutionary.
富人 穷人 右派 左派 The rich. The poor. The right. The left.
年轻人 老年人 乞丐 银行家 The young. The old. The beggars. The bankers.
真美好啊 Man... is it beautiful.
大家共同掀起一场又一场革命 Huh? Everyone all at once, fighting one revolution after another.
说实话 我真没想到这辈子能见识这么多革命 I tell ya, I never thought I'd see so many revolutions in my entire life.
革命迅速取得胜利 The, the revolutions are fought and won so damn fast
人们都来不及推行改变 that the people don't even have time to implement change,
因为没等你反应过来 because have you heard? Huh?
新革命开始了 There's a new revolution.
前几天 I went down to,
我去耐克买鞋 buy me a new pair of kicks at the Nike store the other day.
我往墙上一看 And I look up on the wall,
有几个大字 and I see in 20-foot letters, these words,
"所有人的命都是命" "Our people matter."
真是说到我心坎上了 And I thought, man, this feels good.
我最爱的鞋类品牌对我说 Here I am, and my favorite shoe store's out here saying,
"你的人生很曲折" "I know you lived a long life.
"我知道人生不易" "And I know that life ain't always been easy,
"但你已经54岁了 我的兄弟" "but here you are, at 54 years old, my brother,
"我只想告诉你 我爱你" and I want to say I love you."
我太感动了 And I'm like, man.
瞬间被征服了 This feels good.
我就想 "谢谢你 耐克" And I'm like, thank you, Nike.
然后我拿起一双鞋 And then I pick up a pair of these sneakers
看了看标价 and I look at the price tag,
上面写着 139.99美元 and it says $139.99.
我很委屈 And I'm, like,
我本以为耐克是爱我的 I thought Nike loved me.
我本以为耐克懂我 可这是怎么回事 Appreciated me and my life. What happened here?
于是 我环顾店里 And I look around the store,
看到一群黑人 and I see a whole bunch of Black people,
大家也都被标语感动了 you know, also feeling good.
还有一群白人 And I see a whole bunch of white people, too.
也感觉良好 有的甚至还在摆拍 Also feeling good. Some even, you know, posing.
和墙上的大标语合照 And taking, pictures with the 20-foot letters on the wall.
我靠 真是绝了 And... Shit. Yeah. Yeah. Straight up.
我当时就想 I just had this feeling, and I thought,
去你妈的 耐克 fuck you, Nike.
你才不在乎我们这些人呢 You don't give a fuck about anything or anyone.
造一双黑人四分卫工人的运动鞋一小时才挣七美分 Muslims are sewing these Kaepernick sneakers for seven cents an hour,
你还有脸说 黑人的命也是命 and you're tellin' me my Black ass matters.
你快拉倒吧 Give me a fucking break.
如果说唱不是主流音乐 If rap music wasn't mainstream,
如果"涅槃"乐队还流行 if Nirvana was still the most popular band in America,
那鞋厂标语就会变成 "抑郁才是王道"了 they'd be out here saying, "Depression Matters,"
这样鞋子才会热销 靠 because that's what would move sneakers. Shit.
这些商家真是把握人心的高手 These advertisers. They're too good.
他们比我们高明多了 And they've outsmarted us.
可你们这一代上赶着让他们玩弄 But at the same time, your generation's full of some mark-ass bitches,
因为他们通过手机知道你们的一举一动 because they've tapped into your phones.
他们研究你点过的赞 Yeah, yeah. They've read your likes.
预测你们的喜好 把你们牢牢网住 They've predicted your moves, and trapped yo' asses.
你们以为是在为革命奋斗 You think you out here fighting a revolution,
美国与你们同在吗 and Bank of America's on your side?
快得了吧 Give me a fucking break.
真正的革命不需要同盟 就这么简单 Because a true revolution has no allies. It's just that simple.
真正的革命 Because a true revolution,
和快速 迎合潮流的革命不同 not a fast one, not a quick one, not a fashionable one,
真正的革命在于精神层面 but a real fucking revolution, is at its core, spiritual.
反应了个人的要务 信仰 生存方式 It is a complete decimation of one's priorities, beliefs, and way of living.
摧枯拉朽的重建 And reconstruction in the spirit of...
创造新的神明 You have to create a new God. Or gods.
至高力量 Or whatever you can.
但你必须有信仰 But it is imperative that you believe in something.
相信比自己更强大的力量 Something greater than yourself. All right?
海洋或是歌曲都不行 And it can't be the ocean, or your favorite song.
运动 人类或是语言都不行 And it can't be the movement, or the people, or the words.
你得相信诗歌 You've got to believe in the poetry.
因为其他的一切都靠不住 Because everything else in your life will fail you.
包括你自己 Including yourself.
懂了吗 You hear me?
这就是你现在的情况 That's where you are.
你病了 You're sick.
你整个人都濒临崩溃 Your whole system's on the verge of collapse.
你体内的瘾君子 And the addict in you is trying to sell you
正引诱你走上染病的那条邪路 on the same shit that got you sick in the first place.
如果你执迷不悟 And if you keep going the way you're going,
你会从内而外腐烂 卑微死去 you'll rot from the inside until you cave in and die.
革命是你唯一的希望 Your only hope is a revolution.
但你需要从内而外彻底的革命 But a real fuckin' revolution, inside and out.
你必须坚持到底 But you gotta see it through.
不可以半途而废 You can't half-ass this shit.
你必须日日持之以恒 You just have to commit to it, every single day.
坚信自己可以做得更好 成为更好的自己 And know that you can always do it better. And be better.
因为谁也说不好 Because who knows?
说不定你哪天就成功了 One day, you might succeed.
我不会小瞧任何人 I don't underestimate anyone.
离谱的事多了去了 Stranger things have happened.
我去去就回 Be right back.
等我 All right?
12月24日 茱尔丝 我想你了
20年后的我 点击播放
我没想到你会接 I didn't know you were gonna pick up.
我还以为会直接转到语音信箱 I-I thought I was gonna get your voicemail.
不不 我没有 Nah, nah. I'm not...
我没想让你有负罪感 Not trying to guilt trip you.
就是 It's just...
过节了 圣诞快乐 It's Christmas. Merry Christmas.
你妹在吗 Your sister there?
挺好 挺好 That's good. That's good.
帮我转告她 圣诞快乐 Tell her I, tell her Merry Christmas for me.
告诉她 我爱她 And tell her I, I love her.
我很想她 And I miss her very much.
不 没有 No. Nah.
我没想利用你劝她原谅我 艾玛尼 I'm not trying to talk to her through you, Imani.
我没想这样 That's not what I was try--
好 Right.
我挺好的 我刚参加了戒毒互助会 I'm doing good. I'm... I just came from my meeting.
现在停车场呢 Now I'm standing in the parking lot. Ha.
不是 Nah, nah, nah.
我和担保的小姑娘吃薄饼呢 I'm just getting pancakes with a kid I sponsor.
你是谁呀 Who's this?
拉沙德 Rashad?
"你是谁" "Who's this?"
我是姥爷呀 It's Poppo.
阿里姥爷 Poppo Ali.
等等 再说一遍 Wait, wait, wait. Say it again.
真乖 小家伙 Yeah, little man!
奶声奶气的 真可爱 What a voice he has on him. Right?
他多高了 Wait. How tall is he by now? Is he--
好吧 What... yeah.
算了 Yeah-- Nah.
没事 我理解 Yeah. No, I, I, I understand.
没事 It's not a problem.
我没事 我就是 I, I'm all right. I, I just feel like I'm in a...
仿佛生活在一部老电影里 one of them old movies.
《美好生活》 "It's a Wonderful Life."
生活真美好啊 It's a wonderful life.
圣诞快乐 艾玛尼 Merry Christmas, Imani.
阿里 我该拿茱尔丝怎么办 Ali, what am I supposed to do about Jules?
玛莎女士 Miss Marsha?
-问个问题 -问吧 - Question. - Yes?
你戒毒多久了 How long you been clean?
17年了 Seventeen years,
感谢上帝 by the grace of God.
17年了 Seventeen years.
没想到我有朝一日能说出这句话 Never thought I'd be able to say that.
我很自豪 But I say it with a lot of pride.
17年 Seventeen years.
怎么了 Why?
你刚开始戒毒时 What would happen if, you thought about dating
想过谈恋爱吗 in the early stages of you trying to get clean?
你想问 我想恋爱吗 You want to know if I was interested in dating,
我想戒毒吗 or if I was interested in getting clean?
两个问题的答案都是肯定的 'Cause the answer is "yes" to both of those questions.
但是 But...
我必须放弃恋爱的念头 I had to not be in a relationship,
才能专心戒毒 so that I could focus on my sobriety.
我想要戒毒和恋爱 Because that's what I wanted,
但我无法两者兼顾 and I didn't have enough energy for both of those.
我更想戒毒 And I wanted to get clean.
令你开心的事 Everything that's good to you
不一定是好事 ain't always good for you.
你有话送给心中了无希望的人吗 What do you have to say to somebody who doesn't have a whole lot of hope?
我小时候 When I was a little girl growing up,
祖母经常念叨一句话 my grandma used to always have this saying,
我之前一直不懂 and I never understood what it meant...
直至打算戒毒那天 我才明白 until I was ready to get clean.
她的原话是 And her words were,
"亲爱的 烦恼总有解决的一天" "Baby, trouble don't last always."
烦恼总会远去 And it doesn't,
前提是你愿意做出改变 if you want to make a change.
决定权在你 That's up to you.
还有问题吗 You got any more questions for me
我正数小费呢 while I'm trying to count my tips?
没了 你数吧 Nah, count 'em.
我一会再给你贡献一点 Imma throw a couple more in there later.
那必须的 你这个铁公鸡 You need to, with your cheap ass.
那可是金玉良言 That's the truth, right there.
说起来 You know...
其实挺好笑 It's funny, when I think about it.
我还是怪茱尔丝造成了这一切 I still blame Jules for all this shit.
为什么 Why?
因为 'Cause...
我本来戒毒了 I was clean.
我本也打算不再吸毒了 And I was, like, gonna stay clean.
我多数时候也很开心 And for the most part, I was pretty happy, so...
-都怪茱尔丝 -等等 - And fuckin' Jules-- - Wait, wait.
你本来打算不复吸了 You were gonna stay clean?
-对啊 -可你还藏着药呢 - Yeah. - With pills in your room?
-我没打算吃 -可你也没扔 - I wasn't taking them. - You were saving them.
-是啊 -可你刚说不打算复吸了 - Yeah. - Even though you just said you were gonna stay clean.
复吸都是茱尔丝的错 And that relapsing was Jules' fault.
阿里 你不知道她对我做了什么 Ali, you don't know what she did to me.
我确实不知道 You're right. I don't.
她背着我劈腿了 She cheated on me.
我戒毒期间 她劈腿了 When I was sober, she literally cheated on me.
-这样啊 -是啊 - I didn't know that. - Exactly.
你们俩确定恋爱关系了 So, you were in a relationship.
对 Yeah.
-你们不是闺蜜吗 -不是 - I thought you two were just friends. - No.
友情什么时候变恋情了 When did it shift?
嘉年华那晚 她在我家睡了 The night of the carnival, she came over,
我们一直在亲亲 and we, like, kissed a whole bunch.
好吧 可什么时候确定了恋爱关系呢 Okay, but when did it become a relationship?
我刚说了 那天晚上 I just told you. That night.
-那晚 你们就确定关系了 -对 - It became a relationship that night. - Yeah.
你们俩不止接吻了 还说好了要在一起 So it wasn't just kissing. You two talked about being together.
那样太别扭了 What? That's so weird.
什么意思 What?
为什么要说这种事啊 Why would we talk about it?
因为恋情都是这么确定的 小茹 Because that's how people get into relationships, Rue.
大家都会说清楚 They talk about it.
我们都说了爱对方 I mean, we said "I love you."
说了好多次 A lot.
我还对我的理发师说"我爱你"呢 I say "I love you" to my barber.
可你不会跟你的理发师亲热啊 Okay, yeah, but you don't make out with your barber.
就算亲热了 我的理发师也不会当真 Even if I did, my barber might assume it was just a casual thing.
我们还说要在下唇文我们的情侣名 We talked about getting matching tattoos on the inside of our lips.
年轻人啊 Damn.
文了吗 Did you?
没有 但我们说好了 No, but we, we talked about it.
行 你继续 Okay. Keep going.
就这些啊 I mean, there's nothing else to say, you know?
我之前那么爱她 Except that I loved her.
信任她 I trusted her.
可现在想想 And when I look back at it, you know, just,
她骗了我 it's like she lied to me.
利用了我 And, manipulated me.
好吧 Right.
就像在车站那晚 Like the whole thing at the train station.
她劝我跟她私奔 Her trying to get me to run away with her,
丝毫不顾我的恐惧 even though I was, scared, and...
我还没带药 didn't have my medication...
就是太自私任性了 Just kind of fucked up, and selfish.
我没想到她真会走 I didn't think she was actually gonna go.
没想到她会离开我 You know, like, leave me.
她一走 我瞬间就崩溃了 It just kind of set something off in my head, you know?
我这一生 Thinking about my whole life, how...
大家总对我许下虚假的承诺 people make all these fucking promises.
我妈亲吻了我的额头 My mom kissing me on the forehead, and...
告诉我 爸爸不会有事 telling me my dad's gonna be all right.
茱尔丝承诺跟我一起生活 And Jules talking about how we're gonna live together
她去上大学 我们可以睡一张床 when she goes off to college and sleep in the same bed,
永远在一起 and be together forever.
结果 她离开了我 And then she ditches me.
就因为她遇到了别的女孩 'Cause she met another girl.
这些 Just...
我禁不住想 人人都是骗子 made me think about how everyone lies.
谎言并不伤人 It's not even the lies that hurt, you know?
难过的是 你根本没做好被抛弃的准备 It's the fact that you're never really emotionally prepared for someone to leave you.
太操蛋了 Just kind of messed up.
所以我就认为 这一切都是我咎由自取 And it just started, like, this avalanche of shit, about maybe I deserve it.
也许上天在惩罚我 Maybe this is the universe's punishment
因为我就是个垃圾 for me being a piece of shit my entire life.
偷我妈的钱 Stealing from my mom.
打她的脸 Hitting her in the face.
这都是我干的好事 That's what I've done,
阿里 我打了我妈的脸 Ali. I have, I have hit my mom in the face.
我拿一块碎玻璃指着我妈 I picked up a piece of glass, and I pointed it at my mom
威胁说要杀了她 and I threatened to kill her.
这简直无法原谅 That is some unforgivable shit.
也许我活该凌晨被人在火车站甩了 Maybe I deserve to get my ass left at a train station at 1 a.m., you know?
毒品改变了你 Drugs change who you are as a person.
我伤害我妈时 都没嗑嗨 Every time I attacked my mom, I wasn't high.
毒品改变了你 Drugs change who you are as a person.
还是不可原谅 It's still unforgivable.
不是的 Nah. It's not.
要是我认为你的所作所为不可原谅 Come on. If I actually believe that what you did was unforgivable,
我就不会在这儿了 I wouldn't be sitting here,
我做过的事更不可原谅 because what I've done in my life, is way more unforgivable.
我才不信 Yeah, right. No.
我之前就说过 现在再说一遍 I said it before. I'll say it again.
跟我比 你是小巫见大巫 You're playing pool with Minnesota Fats.
如果我是你涉世未深的同学 Maybe if I was some random-ass classmate of yours with no life experience,
听说你拿着碎玻璃威胁你妈 and I heard that you picked up a piece of glass and threatened your mom,
我可能会说 "简直不可原谅" I'd be like, "That's unforgivable."
你越这么想 就病得越严重 But the more you believe that, the sicker it makes you,
因为每次你做了不可原谅的事 because every time you do something unforgivable,
你都会想 "何必改变呢 我已经是个垃圾了" you think, "Why change? I'm just a piece of shit.
"还是继续吧 反正都无法挽回了" I better keep going. What's the difference now?"
你没意识到 原谅才是转变的关键 Without realizing that forgiveness is the key to change.
大家总是自诩高明 We're too busy running around
对其他人的行为指指点点 judging everybody's intentions and motivations
仿佛是人类行为专家 as if we have some insight into the human soul.
认为"你做了某件事 那你肯定是这样的人" You know, "You did this, so that must mean you're that."
得了吧 Just give me a break.
阿里 我拿着一块碎玻璃 Ali, I picked up a piece of glass.
指着我妈 I pointed it at my mom.
我威胁要杀了她 And I told her I was gonna kill her.
好吧 Right.
真是太混了 That's fucking terrible.
但这意味着什么呢 But what's it mean?
意味着 我是个垃圾 Means that I'm a piece of shit.
-想想深层次的原因 -我想过了 - Look deeper. - I am.
你没有 再想想深层的原因 Nah. You're not. Look deeper.
阿里 这简直是蹩脚电影里的台词 Ali, that sounds like a tag line for a dumb fucking movie.
就因为听起来不高大上 So just because it doesn't sound cool enough to you,
所以你就想流于表面吗 you're gonna settle for being superficial?
这才不可原谅 That's unforgivable.
想想深层的原因 那意味着什么 Look deeper. What's it mean?
我对所爱之人动手了 That I'm violent to someone I love.
好 Okay, okay.
为什么 Why?
因为我就是这样的人 Because that's who I am.
我不懂这意味着什么 I don't know what that means.
这意味着 我对此心安理得 It means that I'm okay with that.
是吗 Are you?
这就是深层次的原因 That's what it says.
但你对此心安理得吗 But are you okay with that?
不 No.
所以 你不是这样的人 So, it's not who you are.
可我还是那么做了 Yeah, well, I still did it.
那你为何觉得那样不好呢 But why are you not okay with it?
因为那么做很没良心 Because it's a terrible fucking thing to do.
-为什么 -因为很恶劣 - Why? - Because it's shitty.
残忍 没人性 It's cruel, and it's mean,
我妈不该被那样对待 and my mom doesn't deserve that.
-你相信是这样吗 -嗯 - Those are all things you believe. - Yes.
-你的信念反映了你的为人 -当然 - And your beliefs are part of who you are. - Yes, of course.
所以 你的意思是 So what you're saying is,
虽然你做了坏事 is that you can simultaneously do something
但是你相信那样不好 that you also believe is wrong.
做法比想法更能说明为人吧 Well, doesn't you doing it mean more than your intentions?
看情况 你为什么违背自己的意愿行事呢 It all depends. Why are you ignoring all the things you believe?
因为我当时没过脑子 'Cause I wasn't thinking.
可大家都为此苦苦挣扎 Okay, but that could just be the struggle of all human beings.
-挣扎什么 -想的和做的一样 - What? - Living up to their belief system.
不是人人都威胁要杀了自己的母亲 Not all human beings threaten to kill their mom.
没错 你确实更偏激 这我承认 True. Yours is more extreme. I'll give you that.
可为什么呢 But why?
-为什么更偏激 -对 - Why is it more extreme? - Yeah.
因为毒品吧 I don't know. 'Cause of, like, drugs, and...
因为我是神经病吧 certain emotional disorders.
你确定吗 不是因为你很差劲吗 You sure it's that, and not just because you're a terrible person?
很有可能是因为你差劲啊 I mean, 'cause it could just be
你就是个垃圾啊 because you're a piece of shit.
不是这样 No, it's not that.
吸毒 有精神病的人很多 I mean, 'cause there's a lot of people with drug issues and emotional issues
可他们也没想弑母 that don't threaten to kill their mothers.
是啊 Yeah, no. I know.
但你这么做了 But you did.
你为此对自己的惩罚是 And your punishment, the sentence you're giving yourself is that
判定小茹·贝内特不可原谅 you, Rue Bennett, are beyond forgiveness.
这种惩罚太过了 That punishment is way too harsh,
也太便宜你了 and it's also way too easy.
这样你就能继续为所欲为 毫不悔改了 It allows you to keep doing exactly what you're doing without changing,
因为你活该 because you deserve it.
没希望了 你不可原谅了 There's no hope. You're beyond forgiveness.
你还是自暴自弃 So you may as well just fuck the fuck off forever
自甘堕落吧 and go down the gutter
因为垃圾就该待在垃圾桶 because that's what this girl, this piece of shit, deserves.
世界就是因此越来越糟糕 This is why the world keeps getting worse.
大家犯了不可原谅的错 People keep doing shit that we deem unforgivable,
于是破罐子破摔 不做改变 and in return, they decide there's no reason to change.
所以才会有一帮人 So now you got a whole bunch of people running around
他们根本不想赎罪 who don't give a fuck about redemption.
这样太可怕了 That's scary.
阿里 你做过什么坏事 Ali, what have you done that's so terrible?
多了 A lot.
-说说看 -可多了 - But what? For real. - A lot.
-你不是唬我吧 -不是 - You're not just saying that? - Nah.
你保证 You promise?
你为什么好奇 Why do you want to know?
因为我觉得你是个好人 Because I think you're, like, a good person.
我想像不到你会做坏事 And I just couldn't imagine you, like, doing something terrible.
小时候 我经常看到我爸打我妈 I grew up in a house where my dad used to beat on my mama.
他是个杀千刀的酒鬼 He was a drunken, cold son of a bitch.
我每晚躺在床上 And every night, I lay in bed
盘算怎么杀了他 dreaming of every which way to kill him.
但最后 我妈离开了我爸 But eventually, my mama up and left him
带走了我和妹妹 继续生活 and took me and my sister with her, and life goes on.
但我一直告诫自己 But I always said to myself
无论多难 that no matter how bad shit got,
就算我吸毒成瘾 whether I was shooting dope or smoking crack,
我也不能成为像我爸那样的人 I would never, ever be like my dad.
后来 我结婚了 And then I, I got married.
有了两个女儿 生活一团糟 I had two girls. It was chaos.
我吸毒成瘾 我妻子很不满 I was using, and my wife wasn't having it.
我们每晚都吵架 We were fighting every night.
后来还动了手 And it got physical.
有天晚上 我抬头看到两个女儿在偷看 And, one night I looked over and I see my two little girls watching.
我瞬间就想 And I thought,
我终究还是成了这样的人 here I am,
我的两个女儿 a grown man with two girls,
看着我扇她们妈妈的耳光 and they just watched me hit their mom in the face.
我人生前30年 I spent 30 years of my life...
都想杀了我爸 thinking of how to kill my dad
就因为他跟我一样打老婆 for doing the same shit I just did to their mom.
那是我最混蛋的时候 That's rock bottom.
之后没再恶化 It doesn't get any worse than that.
但我花了五年才洗心革面 But, hey, it took me another five years to clean up,
因为对某些人而言 没有最糟 because for some people, there is no rock bottom.
只有更糟 It's bottomless.
事实是 And the truth is,
毒品会改变你的本性 drugs will fundamentally change who you are as a human being.
改变你的道德观和价值观 Every moral. Every principle.
你曾经坚信不疑的原则 Everything you hold close to your heart, and believe in,
都会被统统抛弃 will go out the window or down the drain.
因为你总想着 以后再改吧 'Cause there's no force stronger on planet Earth than that next fix.
也许你现在很正常 Now, you may be functioning.
生活如意 Maybe things go well.
这种状态可能会持续 Maybe they last.
也可能是会结束 And maybe they don't.
但我确信 But the one thing I know is true
你吸毒的时间越长 is that the longer you do drugs,
失去的就越多 the more you're gonna lose.
不仅会失去你的所爱 And not just in terms of the things you love,
还会失去你自己身上宝贵的品德 but the things you value about yourself.
只要你妥协了 做出违背道德的事 And every compromise you make, every moral line that you cross,
你就会越陷越深 you'll go further and further,
直至你再也认不出自己 until you don't recognize who the fuck you are.
而心中的恶念 And that list of racing thoughts,
犯下不可原谅的错事 that list of unforgivable things,
会越来越多 it grows longer.
越来越难以直视 And gets uglier.
你还觉得我是个好人吗 You still think I'm a good person?
嗯 Yeah.
一想到有人觉得我是好人 The thought of maybe being a good person
我就有动力真正成为一个好人 is what keeps me trying to be a good person.
但是 Although,
有人可能不同意你的看法 some people might disagree with you.
我的小女儿 就是其中之一 My youngest daughter, for one.
她叫什么 What's her name?
玛丽 Marie.
阿里 Ali?
怎么了 Yeah?
我没打算活太久 I just don't really plan on being here that long.
这种想法 And that's...
这样最令我难过 That's the tough part about all this, you know?
因为我喜欢跟你聊天 'Cause, I, I, I love talking to you.
真的 I do.
你的看法 我基本都同意 And I agree with, almost everything you're saying.
我都懂 And I understand it.
但是 But...
我就没打算活太久 I just don't plan on being here that long.
我懂 I get it.
这是一个黑暗的时代 We're living in dark times.
希望寥寥 Not a lot of hope out there.
吸毒最令我怀念的一点 The thing I miss about doing drugs...
就是安心美化的作用 is the beauty.
不论世界多混乱 No matter what's going on in the world,
不论你的人生有多糟 no matter what's going on in your life,
一切都会好起来 everything is gonna be okay.
是啊 Yeah.
世界太丑恶了 The world's just really fuckin' ugly, you know?
面目狰狞 It's really fuckin' ugly, and...
可大家似乎都坦然接受 Everybody seems to be okay with it, you know?
怒火 The anger.
无处不在的怒火 The level of anger.
人人都想揭开对方狰狞的一面 Everyone's just out to make everyone else not seem human.
我不想同流合污 And I don't really want to be a part of it.
我甚至不愿直视这种丑恶 I don't even want to witness it.
这当然不是我所有问题的根源 Sure, it's not, like, the root of all my problems,
但我总是忍不住想到这些 but I definitely think about it. A lot.
思考这些问题 这些看法 Because thinking about those questions, those ideas,
都是必要的步骤 they're a large part of...
正因如此 人生才值得走一遭 what makes this life worth living.
对吧 Right?
我之前就是这个意思 That's what I was talking about earlier.
你得相信诗歌 You gotta believe in the poetry.
享受两人在圣诞前夜坐在小餐馆 The value of two people sitting in a diner on Christmas Eve,
畅谈人生 talking about life,
毒瘾 addiction,
失去 loss.
你不想同流合污 小茹 You don't want to be a part of it, Rue, because...
因为你在意人生的大事 you care about the big things in life.
不一定吧 I don't know if I care about the big things in life.
别否认了 你肯定在意 Come on now, of course you do
因为你显然不在意琐碎小事 because you obviously don't care about the small things,
比如 保持正确或满腔怒火 like being right, or being angry.
这些会泯灭我们的好奇心 All the things that kill curiosity and keeps us from...
阻止我们深度思考 keeps us all from looking deeper.
你之前说过了 You said it earlier.
我喜欢跟你聊天 I love talking to you.
因为我们谈的是正事 Because we talk about the real shit.
真正重要的事 Shit that matters.
你想以什么身份死去 Like, who do you want to be when you leave this Earth?
我没懂 I'm not really sure I follow.
你说 不想活太久 You said you weren't gonna be here much longer.
所以呢 Okay. Then?
你希望给母亲和妹妹留下什么样的回忆 How do you want your mom and sister to remember you?
我努力做个好人 但那终究不是我 As someone who tried really hard to be someone I couldn't.
我对你有信心 I got faith in you.
为什么 Why?
不知道 I don't know.
就是有信心 I just do.
当然了 皈依伊斯兰教前 我信仰基督教 Granted, I was a Christian before I became a Muslim,
所以 我也可能看走眼 so, I've been wrong before.
谢谢你 Thanks.
迷醉 圣诞 特别集